The other day, my son texted me, to ask me to pick him up from school, fifteen minutes late. He said he wanted to talk to one of his teachers. I complied.
On the way home, I asked him what he wanted to talk to his teacher about. He said he wanted tips on two of his classes. He was worried about two AP classes he’s taking.
As for the back story, my son was a D student at one time. He’s now on the Honor roll and wants to stay there.
“What’s the problem with these classes?” I asked.
It turned out, he was intimidated. He was scared of failing and/or ruining his GPA/
“Listen to me,” I said. “They don’t teach anything in that school, that you’re not capable of learning. There is not one thing, offered for study at your school, that you aren’t smart enough to come to understand, if you try.”
He stared at me, because nothing like this had ever occurred to him.
“I am telling you the truth so think about what I am saying. There is nothing taught at your school, that you can’t learn. None of the curriculum offered there is beyond you. This is a fact. So there is no reason to be afraid. Just go to school, knowing that everything they teach there is within your reach.”
Five days later, he came home with an A on the test he was afraid of. He thanked me for ridding him of his fear. “You’re good at that,” he said. I was glad.
The PTSD & Control post prompted a lot of discussion and debate. That’s good. It’s gets people thinking.
We have plenty of people telling us what we can’t do and how hard everything is. We need more people telling us that we can move through whatever patch we’re struggling with, and find greener pastures.
Because guess what? That’s the truth.
What do you hear more often? You can? Or you can’t?
“We have plenty of people telling us what we can’t do and how hard everything is. We need more people telling us that we can move through whatever patch we’re struggling with, and find greener pastures.
Because guess what? That’s the truth.”
This resonates so deeply with me. Thank you for this reminder. I knew it, but thank you.
Thanks Elsa. I needed to hear that there is not one thing here I can’t do if I try. I needed more ” I can ” versus ” I can’t ” this morning.
So many people struggle with this their whole lives through, glad you nipped that in the bud early on Elsa. When your mother truly believes in you you can do anything. All children should be so lucky. Our children need our support in their fears, not the most expensive clothes. His batteries were running low, but now he has been given a fresh new one. We all need a little maintenance now and then to operate at our fullest.
I’ve actually had to distance myself from one of my closest friends because she was always telling me that my ‘crazy ideas’ would never work. I tried asking her to stop raining on my parade- but, she just can’t seem to help it- so, I’ve had to move on and surround myself with encouraging, empowering, positive people.
Thanks, everyone! You know what I am saying is true. Most kids are smart enough to master *whatever*, if they will just pay attention and do their best. But it did irritate me to see my son, wringing his hands over being able to do something that he can easily do.
We can do so much, if we will set our mind to it…and cripple ourselves terribly if we but what is so often being sold – life is too hard. It’s not too hard!! If you do something hard, you fell WONDERFUL. You move on in your life.
This is a good idea!
Beautiful and perfect, Elsa. I have tears in my eyes.
I love reading this post, beginning with your son’s story. The fact that he turned to you and “thanked me for ridding him of his fear. “You’re good at that,” he said. I was glad.”… is inspiring. The things I learned as a kid were a jumble of messages. I’m reading my “Child Astrologer Report” (from ElsaElsa.com) heeding Satori’s prompting. The prompting she gave said in essence we come with everything we need. If we were born a carrot with kinks the thing to do was know it and own the kinks be a carrot and stop trying to be a radish, I’m paraphrasing.
Life IS hard work, at all stages of life. The carrot traits I was born with weren’t especially nurtured as a kid, I’ve had to learn to be a carrot the hard way: get to know what THIS carrot really needs to grow deep, juicy, orange and crunchy. The metaphor might be lost to some who watch me plant myself. But, the practice makes me love the carrot more every decade.
It’s something to pass along when I run into carrots who are being told to ‘get a tuck here, there … be a tomato!’ I love how you prepare me for the astrology of Saturn moving in Sagittarius … POSITIVE SUPPORT. I look for that!
The post impacts me on a deep level, since meeting a teacher telling me what I couldn’t do (as in you don’t have an innate ability, you can’t learn this). Memory stings me just thinking about it. How could they? This makes me want to move on to becoming a teacher who says, “you can” to a student, instead of cornering him or her in a box. Thanks Elsa.
I love you Elsa. That is all.
Thank you. 🙂
Thank you thank you thank you. I am working with a company where the employees have been treated like little children capable of almost nothing. I want to say that the management is managing out of fear and power/control. I am trying to change that environment, slowly.
I keep asking them, are the employees skilled? well trained? capable of doing their job and problem solving? yes? well then, trust them, let them know they are valued, appreciated and that they can bring solutions to the table, we’re happy to hear them and implement them, we just want to be sure that the implementation is timed well and carried out with all impacts considered.
The management looks at me like I’ve got a third head. 😀
I learned this back in 7th grade science (yes, about 28 years ago). The teacher was a demanding teacher but everything was prefaced with “I expect the best of you because you are more than capable of learning this and understanding this” You would not believe, the punkiest trouble makers loved his class, could tell you this or that about science, thought it was interesting, etc. etc. Just because the teacher laid out his expectation that it could be done and everyone there could do it.
I like his model of thinking and, in turn, your model for your son.
I am real happy it worked out for your son! But for me personally it wouldn’t have. My fear of failure would be too big. I have Saturn in the 10th, maybe that’s why…..
Great story and what role model you are for your son!
A long time ago a friend told me he liked how I believed in people. I had never thought about it, but it’s true. I believe in people and. I love it!
I think its great that your son was able to open up to you so you could turn his thinking around. Positive support goes a long way for young people and everyone really. I think if you hadn’t intervened with a big dose of positive thinking, he wouldn’t have done that well on his test. IMO, the teacher should have tried to be more of a mentor too and not make it seem like the test was so hard he couldn’t pass it.
When I decided to start my own business, it seemed like I began to encounter a lot of negative non-support, mostly from my sisters. I heard all kinds of reasons why I won’t be successful and should just get a job somewhere. I really resented the lack of support for me, but it kind of made me want to achieve my goals even more. Still, it made me sad and disappointed that the people I care about the most don’t believe in me. I haven’t cut them off totally, but we’ve become more distant. I never expected that they wouldn’t be excited for me. I’m not young anymore and am trying to make something of my own.
I have some good friends that counter that and offer me positive support, so that makes up for it.
This is exactly what I have found, it is disappointing, but I agree, you just have to make your own world work for you. Good luck, I am sure you will succeed and the disappointment will gradually turn into knowing it’s their loss really.
Excellent advice, esp. for a high school kid.
Would anyone agree that Sagittarius represents comprehension? Sagittarius represents perspective? Everyone develops their own perspective of the lesson?
“” find your own pasture””
Thanks Elsa, and. A lot of good vibes I read above too!
A common theme I found in charts I have e only myself to know about.
Just the fact that I would be asking some questions might be a sign that some wrong attitude is prevailing, yet I think I discovered an exception. When people are just too much alike. Gee , that’s. Not a discovery. Again, better yet describing aligned ascendant and house degrees. How much room is left here when every aspect in the sky opens the same page?
We learn a lot in our relationships, in this House by the sky, we can either simultaneous experience, or express our own chart priority; or both; if neither, we still experience the syncroisity and know the others the same.
You ever wrote about house alignments that close?
I have written about this…but have no idea how to find it.
My wheel is virtually the same as my stepson’s…and my life long friend, Ben, also has a similar wheel. Our lives correlate for sure. 🙂
Thank you, I hope Id like to read that in contexts as is, and hope you posted it(might take awhile for a book).
Really great that you were able to experience together and noted; so much of what other similar things may have worked and we moe on,, thankful and stress relieved onto the next topics.
I have to read my own comment again just to see my answer; not avoiding the question, Sagitarius overlaps my 4th and 5th house and No planets…
..I think everything is kind of an aspect whether we relate or not.
The other topics, I mentioned houses… And interpreting…
Are in charge of our hearing or is the speaker by sign or house, speaking our language.
I.e “”What do you hear more often? You can? Or you can’t?””
There probably a lot better professional astrologer way to arrange this:
…
Aries “”I am”” house 1 OR “YOU ARE NOT”
“”I HAVE””sign/house or …yes. Here you are” or “”you ’call first””
“”I THINK”” sign/house or “your so thoughtful” or ”you, thought”
“”I FEEL”” sign/house or ‘yes, direct or in person”. Or “we will call you”’
“”I WILL”” sign/house “no!, who said so? Or “yes,be there early”
“”I ANALYSES”” sign/house “yes , yes, yes,“ or ‘ “not this once”
“”I BALANCE”” sign/house “you can too” or “you, go find your own pasture”
“”I DESIRE”” sign/house yes, here, ‘okay, its your call Or (no one said anything…
“” I see”” sign/house yes absalutely “ or “yes, you are kidding , right?”
“”I USE”” sign/house “yes sign with a wand or wond – hit it maestro “ or “not any more”
“”I KNOW”” sign/ house “yes, again, yes you” or “sorry, use your imagination”
“”I BELIEVE”” sign/house , it just dawned upon “you can” or “you cant”?
I explicitly hear “can’t.”
Sorry.
Correction.
When I hear, “can,” it’s negative.
“You can go live out in the streets!
“You can go get a job!” < While simultaneously knowing I can't, and being the exact person who said so, only doing it because she takes things out on me, and money's tight, so she snaps at times, saying I should pay the water bill, when I already hardly use water at all, acting like it's my fault that inflation of the dollar has caused prices, and bills to increase.
The rest of the time, though… It's "can't," for everything. Having good friends. Having a love life. Working, not that I mind not working. Handling anything. Graduating high school. Everything. When my only flaw is Selective Mutism, which might disable me with the work department, but it is not behind everything else. Abuse is behind everything else, this society being full of nasty people who don't appreciate, or love anyone is what my real problem is. That's the only reason I can't, because other people are so… Messed up.
Your son is lucky to hear that at exactly the right time. It’s good he felt able to open up and share his fear. Often, if you do that you can often get a silence, or a ‘you shouldn’t be feeling that’ comment or ‘cheer up’, like the feeling itself is wrong, rather than offering the support you need. That’s when one’s Mars needs to kick in and you need to go ‘You know what? I’m going to do it anyway! Succeed or fail!’ It can even be a little angry. I read once about the Aries warrior defending the 1st House Mars baby. He is needed when you are pioneering and struggling, treading a not-the-norm path. I have not had much understanding from those close to me in my life, not much ’emotional intelligence’. But I have just headbutted my way through and the support has come from those that get me, and want to get onboard. They can see something special. Sometimes it’s hard to offer intelligent support and not receive it in turn. So that’s when you have to just ‘be your own mother’. (My mother is great by the way, her Jupiter is in my first house).
I heard you can all the time from my mother but she passed away 9 yrs ago
Now it’s just you can’t but even when it is you can — it’s to something ridiculously overambitious (being used as fall guy)
That’s true.
I don’t believe people can do anything, have anything. But I do think my son can handle what is taught in a high school.
Reality (Saturn) has to be attached!
I don’t really hear anything. I’ve always kind of been in my own little bubble and extremely private. I probably learned that trick from my childhood. My father is sexist and doesn’t believe women should be educated beyond high school. (No joke). I remember him laughing at me when I told him I wanted to be a pilot. I just escaped that mental prison he tried to put me in as soon as I could.
Oddly enough, the last conversation I had with him, he was telling me how he doesn’t like to listen to negative people that tell him he can’t do something. I guess in his mind those opportunities only exist for men and women don’t possess the kind of spirit that strives and dreams.