John Gottman who is a psychologist who wrote, The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models. He studied relationship in an effort to be able to predict who would divorce with very limited data. He came up with a super effective formula.
He claims he can can listen to a couple talk about anything, for one hour, then predict with 95% accuracy if they will be married or divorced within 15 years. If he listens for just 15 minutes, he can still predict this with 90% accuracy! He got so good at this, he found he could eavesdrop on a couple eating dinner in a restaurant and have a pretty good idea where they were headed.
Marriages have a sort of DNA. The way we relate to another is hardwired. In terms of astrology, the DNA of a relationship would be shown in the composite chart. If you do form a relationship, the composite chart is inescapable.
It’s interesting science is now making the same kind of claims astrologers are punished for. That is, that these things are predictable! I don’t know why this makes people so uncomfortable.
Personally, I’d just as soon have him listen to me talk to my lover and tell me in advance the relationship was going nowhere! That it was not going to satisfy! And if he said, “You two are very fortunate,” I would like that as well!
This is related, more from Gottman – How To Keep Love Once You Find It.
How do you feel about a guy being able to predict the future of your relationship after sharing lunch with you and your partner? What about an astrologer looking at a few charts and doing same?
Personally I would rather not hear what anyone has to say that’s negative about the future of a relationship I’m in even if it’s accurate. I haven’t had a happy long-term one yet and gloomy predictions just would have ruined the good sex I was having if little else.
Some people are perceptive, and effective in addressing (identifying, saying what is & acting, if the person in question agrees). Sharp knives people: surgeons, Elsa P., and, it seems, John Gottman. In these three instances, it’s verifiable. The effects are plainly evident.
I’ll elaborate. I had surgery for a bone fracture, late autumn 2015. That fracture, and the repair work, are still in the process of healing. Often happens, we know when a healing process starts (immediately after injury, btw) but, how long it’ll take, depends on many, many factors. Happily, there are people with special skill sets, who can spotlight what’s important, and share their insight.
A rule of thumb (Taurus Sun, Mercury in Aries in Venus’ other house, 7th – I love rules of thumb. And empirics): it’s good to remember, what any of us is experiencing, this is real life, now.
Sidenote: obviously, anyone would prefer to be moving freely, getting whatever we want doing, done – unencumbered. Me, too. However, owning both a gorgeous wooden cane, and forearm crutches – both options being more annoying than being able to operate without them – the latter offer greater range of doing stuff. (Many fancy tweeks on them, since they were invented in 1915, for wounded soldiers; mine are plain, similar to the original model.)
(rambly – sorry for that)
I would want to know. My Virgo Mars likes to be efficient. My Venus in Leo (among other things) shouldn’t be wasted, lol
Hell no, I don’t want to know.
I wouldn’t want to know. I was married 30 years, and 27 years of it we had a wonderful time together. Now I’ve been in a semi-long distance, part-time, somewhat casual relationship that’s lasted six years, so far. There are very clear things that would be a difficult challenge if we were full-time, but part-time those things don’t matter. I wouldn’t want to have missed either of these relationships just because someone might have said they wouldn’t last forever. Nothing lasts forever.
Feel exactly the same, ellsandra.
These two approaches don’t seem like the same thing to me at all.
This math guy is a predictor of doom, but a good astrologer will point out the “challenges” and therefore, even if a couple had a challenging chart, they could be made aware of the hurdles and decide if they want to clear them or not.Free will is involved with astrology … but not with the numbers guy. He is just one more guy spreading doom and gloom, and trying to convince people that it is wise to be time efficient and scientific with relationships, rather than letting things unfold naturally. (and as we get further away from our natural blueprint, I suspect this will be the norm. When you go to get a marriage license, perhaps the government will employ his system and decide for you whether you can marry a person or not. Is your heart happy-dancing yet?)
I am weary with right-angle thinking that tries to force every aspect of our lives into a neat and tidy box. Viva the randomness of life!
I’m just like this guy. I can predict divorce or splitting up just by looking at a photo or being around the couple for a few minutes. And I have been accurate at least 80-85% of the time. It’s an awkward gift to have because I’d rather not know, to be honest. The optimist in me believes in the power of enduring love. But people in general aren’t cut by that kind of solid cloth anymore. It’s all about trading up and if you’re empathic, you can feel peoples’ level of commitment right off the bat.
Yeah, I don’t think I’d want to know either. Too textbook. More of an adventurist. I think if I had wanted kids, I would have wanted to know if he would be in that together with me. That’s a big planned adventure. A tough ride. A long ride. One I would not want to do alone.
One of the wonky factors I know about: if people are comfortable standing, side by side, with body language leaning to sharing space – personal sphere, potential for exchanging, communicating (oh goodness, I know that lacks specific description – sorry!) then, there’s potential for continuing to relate, to develop the communication (Mercury, matters more than we might believe it does).
Yes, yes, well said Poppy. Mercury resides over perception and reason. It reflects the way we see, hear,understand, and assimilate information. Personally I believe Mercury is underrated in every and all relationships with regard to our chart. Mercury garners the upmost import in regard to synastry between any and all relationships.