Psychological Dissociation With Saturn In Pisces

fun house mirror boyDissociating is the experience of detaching from reality. This is a new topic for this site which is surprising considering I know so much about it.  It came to mind a couple weeks ago when I realized I could access my feelings from the early 1970’s, in real time.  I’m not talking about having a flashback.  This was more of a cool time-traveler experience.

Specifically, I could feel the crackling in the air; created by the stressed energy of the adults around me, while sitting in a car in a gas line, circa 1973. It’s similar to what we’re dealing with now.  Cold weather snaps plus rising energy costs stresses people. We joke and make memes about the cost of eggs, but underlying that is some degree of terror. I know I’m not the only one to feel this.

This is not new to me. I learned to voluntarily dissociate in my twenties as part of the deep therapy I did at that time. Matter of fact, this is how I can write the exact dialogue in my stories, from thirty years ago. I know the words are correct, because I go right to the scene; get in my body and type the conversation in real time.

If you want to check me on this, read one of my stories – it’s obvious. This why you get swept up. You’re with me there, in real time, witnessing a real event!

I learned to do this, via therapy but the ability is shown in my chart via the Saturn Neptune mashups. Pair that with Mars and Mercury in the 9th house – of course I am going to want to travel through time and other dimensions… to get the story?

I know dissociation is associated with PTSD and generally seen as a negative thing, but clearly it’s not limited to that. I’m your case study, right here. So now, Saturn is headed for Pisces. This will open the door for these types of experiences.

I thought I’d write this, simply because I can and I don’t think anyone else will. Or maybe, it’s because no one else can write it?  Does it interest you?

71 thoughts on “Psychological Dissociation With Saturn In Pisces”

  1. Yes, very interested. I have Saturn/Neptune conjunct in my chart and can see and feel SOME very distinct memories from decades ago. Such as, how beautiful my mother was in the sunshine coming through the window as I lay on my back in my crib and she put my socks on my feet and around the same time, before I could walk, sitting in a puddle of sunshine playing with the dust fairies all around me.

    But there are also periods of time I have no recollection of whatsoever. That is frightening and I’d like to understand.

    1. wow!! beautiful memory!! that must be pisces/neptune & capricorn /saturn influence then.

      I also have similar flashes, and i can remember things from when i was a baby as little as before i could talk or walk, about 8 months old because i relayed a similar experience and day and weather and when the children’s voices outside and every minute detail and all my aunts uncles confirmed it and was super shocked. I dont think they had any words for it.

      1. i also have aquarius which is also saturn influence. And i know saturn means ” time” and maybe the aquarius part is frozen in time, or capturing. regressing back maybe. As with capricorn goes backwards and ages better. I can’t find an association of it. but i can remember every detail of instant memory flashes, right down to the scent and the grandfather clock that ticked a certain hour when i was a baby. to the sound of my aunty coming up the stairs to check up on me if i was still napping. I know many people wont beleive me and thats ok, its my memory. but also my mother has seen me change into a little baby dragon spirit. or that i can copy an animals spirit that comes scurrying about, such a little baby lizard and create it uniquely. Another memory she remembered of me. Its unbelievable too. So these things may be frightening but they are probably something supernatural and otherworldly and we are definitely not alone in this world (as in only us humans here)

  2. Definitely. I’d also be interested to know more about your process of starting therapy. You’ve touched on it before and I know it is highly personal but I wonder how you found the therapist you did, was the first one you went to the one who helped you? What kind of work did you find most helpful?

    1. I started therapy because of a string of highly disturbing dreams – Saturn/Neptune. My first therapist was not that helpful but the next one was. She was pretty amazing. Gorgeous blonde, who preferred pink suits! PhD. She was astonishing looking and also very kind and smart as a whip. She was perfect, really. The treatment she gave me was flawless and this was in a little town of less than 50K people.

      I left her when I left town… got a therapist in Colorado, who is still practicing. I know this, because I looked her up, recently. She was in the paper for doing a good deed, which did not surprise me. She was a Jewish gal and the treatment she gave me was also flawless, so I was very lucky. Also a PhD.

      I should say, I saw a couple others before finding the second one that helped me. I did not waste much time though… I knew I needed someone really smart and talented so I held out for this.

      I spent three years in therapy, going weekly. I learned to write dialogue in the first little town. The idea was to write with my left hand (non-dominant) and then switch to my right, when ideas began to flow. I had not idea I was any good at this or anything like that. This is very early 90’s with all those planets in Cap.

      Anyway, I started writing stories in 2000, I think. I just wrote the stories, without thinking about it. But people could not believe the dialogue; they asked questions, which is the only way to access what is inside of me, I guess.

      I had written a scene…. my sister and I were sitting on an adobe ping pong table (built by my grandfather). The tops of these tables (he built more than one) were two 4″ thick slabs of concrete, 1/2 a ping-pong table, size. BIG and Heavy. Took a group of men to get them on top.

      So it was Arizona HOT. We sat on the table (hot concrete) with our tragic rag -shorts, we’d outgrown. Burned out butt cheeks.

      I explained to the people who questioned me, I could feel this and the heat on my arm… like I could tell you where the sun was at the time of the conversation and frankly, I can also tell you about the minor clouds in the sky on the day; and I know the smells as well. I can see my sister’s expressions and feel my own emotion…

      So after being prompted, I realized I was dissociating. I think I mentioned this at the time, but quickly deleted it.

      Anyway, I wrote a lot of stories in this way, sometimes wondering if it might be bad for me, but it never was. People loved the stories and I figured, God, wanted them told – why else would I have the ability and the audience?

      So then my husband came (back) into my life. He has the ability to do all kinds of things of this nature. I always thought he was super cool (we met when I was 17), with his weird abilities. I see now, I have tricks of my one, but let me be clear – I can only relive what is real. I have no other power. I am just able go back to a time and place and re-experience an event.

      It’s like when I had my broken arm and no doctor or pain meds, over night. If I wanted to, I could reexperience that whole thing in real time. Don’t want to. But the point is, I can go there and my memories will play it back, fully. I do not have to try, or strain or fill anything it. It’s like I am right there; so what do you want to know.

      Writing this, it sounds like self-hypnosis? I don’t know. What I do know is I can do this, and I can do it, readily, though I’m not too interested in doing it at this time… or any time, recently.

      It’s also because of this, I never have to fact check, though I have done so, anyway. A good example of this is at the end of my book – I am at a Fleetwood Mac concert, as a teenager. It was a HUGE concert; I said I was there, at a certain age. I searched and found an old article about this, hoping like hell it would match (the year) and it did.

      But my point is, I am right in the scene, while I write so I know it’s correct. I know you’ve been around a long time. If you’ve read some of my stories and detected something /confidence or even arrogance, this is why.

      To get back to your question, there is a technique where you go back into these thing and save yourself? I don’t know what it’s called but I did a lot of this… A LOT. I thought it was stupid at first, but son of bitch if it did not work.

      Point here, is that this is is probably how I learned to go back into these scenes. It’s always for a purpose, though. Right now, there is no purpose.

      I am dx with PTSD but I’ve not had flashbacks for decades. Well, maybe one or two in the last ten years.

      As for advice, don’t waste time with a counselor you don’t like or who does not like you. I would add, don’t get a dummy, either, but I think that’s personal to me. Another person might do exceptionally well with a kind, caring, supportive person; average intelligence? But I have that Mars Mercury and if I have to explain things too much, it’s distracting.

      Just check people out until you find a good one and then stick until your problem is solved, or you exhaust the person’s resources and need another angle.

  3. Definitely interested, I woke up one morning recently, with a feeling witch I had to pause to identify – I felt bleak – and I saw little me in my childhood home- I was rather sad for her/me.
    I also have Mars, Mercury, (and Saturn) in 9th so understanding things from a higher vantage point is what I do.

  4. Yes. I’m interested. It sounds like a form of meditation to me. I have heard this is how actors access their emotions or get in touch with elements of their character through their past experiences. Nothing dissociation in that I don’t think.

    1. Well, in my case, I am writing in dissociated state because I am there in the story, transcribing as it plays. I’m telling you, I can see my sister’s face or my father’s face, or the crowd at a big concert, through my own eyes at whatever scene I choose to visit. It’s a Saturn Neptune world.

      Let’s say I’m writing and one of my kids interrupted me. I would have to come back into the room to take care of them… then right back out to the ping pong table. It’s the only way I can write / remember what was said. I have to there. I can’t recall it. I go to the moment and hit, “play”, basically.

      I think this why so many people who read my stuff, think “movie”. I don’t know what else to say. I go back and get in my 10 year old self and write the dialogue as it’s spoken. Though I can’t type as fast as I talk so I just stay there until it’s all transcribed… then in the old day – I would post the story part as a blog post and that would be that.

      It’s like the California story. That’s a great example. I wanted to write that story because of the shells. I could have told the story but I chose to go to my sister’s house and transcribe the conversation – why?

      First, because I can. But also, she’s very funny and it gave the story an extra quality. It’s a gift. No sense having a gift if you’re not going to utilize it!

      But anyway, I am not meditating. I am sitting in my house – I decide I want to write a scene. I can’t write the scene unless I go there, so I go there (it takes one second), and I “roll tape” and it rolls and I type! 🙂

      1. Hi Elsa. I love your stores in your writing. They are very in the moment.

        Could you explain more clearly why Saturn Neptune gives this ability (or tendency) in astro speak ? I know Neptune would describe the dissociation part, but how does Saturn fit in?

          1. Yes, but Saturn is also “reality”. I am entering a scene from decades ago, in real time, more than once. I am sure this will be perceptible but I can direct you to an example of this. Understand, I am in this room with my sister and her husband, as I write this out.

            So here’s the link.
            Search “bocce”.

            My sister is telling the story but begins to hand it off to me. Now I am writing this and as I write it, it goes like this, internally…

            At first, I am helping her tell HER story. She is asking me to add facts and/or confirm her story for her husband’s sake or perhaps, she wants me to just add some color… or she has Sadge, so maybe it’s my perspective she’s after.

            In whatever case, I comply… from my head. But as she keeps asking questions… ultimately, I dissociate to answer them.

            When I get to this part, ““Well I decided it was worth *whatever, if I got to put my feet in the ocean. That’s how I coped. There was no question. I mean, if I could get him to treat me nicer that would be good. But if not, I’d still want to be there. I thought about this while I was sitting in the car and this is what I came up…”
            I am feeling it. I have to go there to answer the question, correctly.

            See, I don’t store this stuff in my head. I am dissociated from it, I suppose. So if you ask me a thoughtful question, I will invariably travel to get your answer.

            This is an example of of a thoughtful question, but the way. I have to recall the experience of writing this story… which was about twenty years ago.

            See, I’m typing in my chair but when I’m moved in the story, I am moved in real time.

            This is also why all my stories are true. I know ZERO un-true stories. I mean, I wouldn’t bother trying to make something up. The truth / reality is delicious! 🙂

            1. I’m really appreciating this discussion. And I look forward to what you’re gonna do with it. A course?

              I do believe there is a pathological side to this, where a person can become so fragmented that they lose the core self. Sounds like you kept your core self intact!

              1. Yeah, I was always in there… thinking and planning and morphing and deciding… and sometimes brooding and/or making jokes.

                And that right there is my personality!

  5. Not sure how all this would apply but yes there is an understanding there absolutely.

    We are certainly in the days where it would make it applicable to dissociate in order to live in this world as it all continues to unfold. I would say it is perplexing to want to disassociate and how does that compare to other forms or other copping mechanisms. However if this is what is proposed by the sky (Saturn Pisces) it shall be swimming bones of sorts.

  6. Yes, I’m interested. As a side note, I have felt for a very long time that the past doesn’t go anywhere, we do. It piles up behind us, and I mean that literally, and our attention moves forward. It’s all still here. I can feel back into it. That’s probably not what your talking about, but I do feel myself reaching back deeply and even over into probable reality versions. That sounds a little nuts but it’s as solid as any other connections I feel.

      1. Hi Elsa. I love your stores in your writing. They are very in the moment.

        Could you explain more clearly why Saturn Neptune gives this ability (or tendency) in astro speak ? I know Neptune would describe the dissociation part, but how does Saturn fit in?

    1. That’s how I “get” time,too,Jana. And I think I was first introduced to the concept back in the 70’s when I intensely studied the Seth Material.Game changer. I also do what Elsa mentions.. and it’s less dissociative to me.. it is more like turning my flashlight over THAT event in the “past” and it is fully there and I remember WORD FOR WORD.. or I EXPERIENCE IT AGAIN?? word for word, moment for moment,with the smells, the colors, the feel of the breeze, the tone of voice,etc. My husband freaks out when I do this and can’t believe i “remember” things from so “long ago” word for word but I do. I have practiced dissociation here and there, more lately, as my family is not in a good way lately and there are days I simply cannot be WITH and IN ALL THE THINGS GOING ON fully and stay sane,so I just pull myself in, I guess I compartmentalize.Like; “How about I just spend the day baking and enjoying the smell of connamon and the thrill of the sugar on my tongue,” instead of talking and crying some more about this health issue with our son that we just can’t figure out… .,i need days like that/ Ahh..the mind is such a wondrous place….

  7. “ I started therapy because of a string of highly disturbing dreams – Saturn/Neptune.”

    Over the last couple weeks I had three dream experiences that got my attention! The first time, I heard myself scream and I felt I was rushing back into my body. Had to reassure my husband! I don’t know what the dream was about and I slept soundly after that. The two times after that I had a sensation in my third chakra area that woke me and I felt like energy was swirling and definitely coming out and not going into me. I can’t remember any dream associated with these new occurrences. (Make sense?)
    Saturn/Neptune stuff?

  8. This is fascinating! I can summon up vivid memories, conversations, feelings etc., but more often they descend upon me unbidden. Mostly pleasant, wistful flashes of mundane moments. Often the same memories, repeatedly triggered by the same ordinary and totally unrelated activity, but also often totally random. Just as I’m typing this several different, random, unconnected scenes popped into my mind, no idea why

      1. Thank you, Elsa! Ever since I first started noticing this, I’ve wondered if it was what you’ve referred to as “the veil.” I’ve also, for years now, had what you might call an occasional, sporadic, ongoing “life review,” again unbidden. Not just self critical ruminations, but an inner dialogue dissecting long past events and choices, placing myself back into the moment to analyze the feelings and circumstances. When I can sort through an issue deeply, it’s usually productively enlightening. Sometimes I write it call down as doing so has always helped me organize my thoughts, but I’ve never done it in a story form.

        1. I’ve been having that experience fairly continually for the last few years. Pluto (death) is transiting opposite my Sun.

          I’ve also jumped of dying twice. It’s all been quite instructive, giving me a lot of ability to process hill and release the past.

  9. Interested, yes, definitely, each Sunday afternoon during my whole life I have strong memories/ being there, type of recall, only it seems a pre-life memory of my death. Every single detail (coffin, hushed atmosphere as if thick carpeting and curtains, roses, their actual smell, and most of all, a ray of afternoon sunshine and the dust particles in it). This recall comes spontaneously each and every Sunday afternoon, brings up deep heart-felt nostalgia, and then subsides. I have of course always wondered about it.. Thanks Elsa for bringing this topic up, hope for more to come during Saturn in Pisces..

    1. Yes, I want to in this direction – weird, cool stuff, because there are a million other astrologers (and ai bots), who can write the standard fare! 🙂

  10. Uranus also plays a role in dissociation.
    Saturn in Pisces may additionally show itself as healing – unification – of dissociated states that have disembodied/wounded us from the heart up into the head.

    1. Thank you, Elsa, for the topic post, love your open expressive writing style 💕

      Blessings, Don, for sharing your perspective and additional information.

      Looking forward to “integration” of life long C-PTSD, with decades of work, involving unification of identities 🙏

      So as to be of service to others, with compassionate embrace for radical optimism and forgiveness.

      We are Blessed 🦋

  11. Love this, I am going to try, going deep for
    The save!When I drift into thinking why?
    I am going to try,”Nope not today, not this way”thank you

    1. Thanks for this comment. I like this concept and it could prove very useful. Taking another path.

      That’s the point of saving yourself from situations that trigger you. It’s cuts an alternative path in your psyche… you can take the safe path over the destructive one.

      It also occurred to me (reading your comment), we really aren’t taught helpful things like this. Instead it’s all about how screwed you are, all day, all the time.

      My job, during this transit, is coming clearer to me.

  12. Totally interested in this topic. When I had a life changing NDE a few decades ago, I was shown that the mind and brain are different from each other. I experienced the mind remaining with me when the physical body/brain didn’t. It seems we access these things/experiences through the mind and I can also dissociate in a positive way when I want to. Timelines come into play and the veil is thin as you mentioned in a comment. It has been such a blessing in my life to have experienced this and have this understanding. I can also write that way, when I want to, putting myself there and pushing the play button.

    1. Thank you. Here’s another idea…

      I met my husband when I was 17. He was 19. We had a serious relationship and we should have married but we didn’t. We broke up – got back together more than 20 years later and then energy between us is exactly as it was.

      This means we can get old, crippled, whatever. We can still access that the same thrill we had as teens. It’s supernatural.

      All of this is magic, really. Learn about the unseen world. 🙂

  13. I thought the dissociation was more Aquarius, related to trauma but it’s certainly nice to hear a positive spin, especially since it’s heading into my 1st house/sun/moon

  14. Yes, it’s a very interesting topic. (But the word “dissociation” makes me think more of psychological disorders, as a technical term.)
    I much prefer the positive and controlled version you describe.
    What a gift! With both settings and dialogues!
    I have a memory of places (or so its seems, I see details of places in my far childhood, although it’s difficult to know for sure if they’re exact! But no conversations…)
    Your “gift” makes me think of psychics or mediums who can travel in time and space and be in two worlds at the same time. Although not always on demand, somtimes things just pop up.

    1. I think we need to take our words back. This is the definition of the word:

      “Dissociating is the experience of detaching from reality.”

      There is nothing negative there.

      Yes, I learned to dissociate as a child but it’s a very useful skill.
      For example, when I was forced to lie in bed for hours with a broken arm and no pain meds, do you really think I did not block that pain?

      And all these surgeries I’ve had. We have the ability to shut down our internal systems, to distract ourselves and many, many other things. But this compatibility is tagged in a negative way. It’s limiting and you don’t even realize it. You wind up trying to stop or control this ability.

      Oh, I had to leave my body!
      What about, wow! I can leave my body!

      If you drift when bored in a classroom, are you broken? Or are you smart?

      1. I love this topic! I have certainly experienced this kind of drifting all through my life. I thought it was due to Neptune squared my Sun. But Saturn is trined to my Sun and sexted Neptune, so I guess they all linked together. And my Sun is in Cancer likes to reflect in the past.

        There was definitely a negative side to dissociation. I had this for my own childhood traumas, and it’s taking me a long time to be able to land in my body. Drifting is fun at times and I can use it as an artist to access creativity, but it’s also been very hard to stay present especially when I’m stressed.

        My boundaries are getting so much better as I land in the here and now… I can still drift, but I have control over it (mostly)

    2. Now we’re talking! I too find all of this topic very real and worthy of lots of discussion! Growing up in a tribe of 10 ..myself one of the youngest in a small house on a block with 20 other wild cats to be out in the streets with! Wow.. who was who?? Who can I be today?? Who am I?!!! Loved going to my room after being punished for teasing my younger sister… peaceful..calm and in my own little world!

  15. Yes, I agree – there’s nothing negative if it’s something that you control and use to good purposes!
    Perhaps not that many people have this gift, or are not aware of the possibility.
    And aren’t taught such skills.

  16. Very thoughtful and important post, in my opinion.I have always agreed that we define some our our innate abilities with the wrong words! I think daydreaming and dissociating are very useful skills and we DO need the mystics to teach us about these possibilities in a positive framework! Also our concepts of TIME are just constructs humans make to try to deal with our apparent movement THROUGH it.. and it’s so mind bending and expanding to be exposed to other ideas about the facts of isn’t quite (or at all) as linear as we seem to need to think.. how liberating to USE that info..and experience time in a linear way when it is USEFUl.. but travel all over it when THAT is more useful for us..I also love the idea that we can go back and “rewrite the past” and create a whole new timeline.,i’ve done some of that.I have a totally rewritten timeline in some areas of my life that i choose to rely upon.I’d rather create new strengths than “remember” weakness or stress. This might all sound kinda crazy but I don’t think so.I think the consensual “reality” we cling to is much more dangerous and yes,it’s time for folks like you to teach alternatives.. for those who will listen1

  17. This touched something in me and I’m grateful. I have NN in Scorpio and most of my personal planets are in the 12th house (Mars, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter), the combination of which has taken me to the darkest and deepest depths in this lifetime. I had a dream a couple of years ago where I was sitting in a chair and this little girl came into the room and just stood there staring at me. She broke my heart as I so strongly felt her pain that I went and picked her up and put her on my lap. I loved her so much even though I had never seen her before. She sank into me and I stroked her hair and comforted her. I cried for her. I woke up crying. I realized that the little girl was me. I still tear up just thinking about it.

    1. Wow, that’s a powerful experience. I’ve been doing IFS therapy (internal family systems) where you do exactly that. You get taken on a journey and meet fragments of self- called exiles – and greet them/meet them – see them – feel them – see them – hug and love them (whatever they need ). Every time I do this work, I land a little bit more into my body and feel more whole and integrated.

  18. Avatar
    Cynthia Davidson

    Yes, I’m very interested. I have had these experiences, more than crystal clear memories of some events, actually being there again. I called it my inner time travel. I think it’s part of why I gravitate towards Einstein.

  19. I know about this to be sure. It really has been a large part of my experience. I have natal Saturn in Pisces trine NN in Cancer. I also have Neptune in the 1st.
    I think to myself concerning time and the fluidity involved;Is it really the past if I am fully experiencing this NOW every bit a viscerally as l did then? I don’t think I can allow my definition of time and space to follow what has been set forth. Linearity my foot. It isn’t from my vantage point but my perspective is unusual.

  20. Oh my! Just yesterday my father, who passed in 2013 at age 89, was suddenly with me, as clear as a bell, but I do not know what precipitated his image. Although I cannot say, specifically, the time period, he was definitely a younger man. As a young teenager one of my friends told me that my father was so handsome and “he calls you babe!” So perhaps it was then, in c. 1970 when it occurred to me he was handsome and that, yes, he doted on me. I mean he was just my Dad. But in his “presence” yesterday he was radiant; when his image left I was profoundly sad. My father had a Cancer moon and mine in Scorpio so perhaps this plays into the watery Pisces-in-Saturn experience.

    1. Avatar
      Gabriella L Garlock

      Aw, nice! ..I just lost my Dad (87 yrs) a few months ago. I’ve been visited by him and my older brother, we lostca few years ago, in dreams.

      However, I have fugues “dreaming while wide awake”–temporal lobe epilepsy. And I’ve always wondered where this may be indicated in my chart. Saturn is reality? But mine squares Moon. Which squares Sun conjunct Uranus conjunct Mercury conjunct Pluto.

      I wonder if Mercury conjunct Uranus (brain x electricity) is epilepsy. Square Moon, sextile Neptune in Scorpio.

      Hope you see your father again. Hope I do!

  21. Avatar
    Gabriella L Garlock

    Interested. I have Saturn at 1° Pisces natally. Neptune water Trine. Sun stellium in 12th House. Imagination crossing into pathology and the temporal lobe scars to give “them” the evidence, should they need it.

    So I’m a writer. With a fantastic therapist, as educated as I am, though I can’t go into particulars for her sake.

    Please elaborate!

  22. Fascinating subject! I have experienced something similar on occasion;however,it has been rare, fleeting and in no way as detailed and immersive as what you describe. I jokingly refer to these experiences as my Emotional Photographic Memory.

  23. This is a meaningful discussion and I’m getting a lot of insight. One thing I’ve continuously experienced with my family (I have Saturn in 3rd house Sagittarius)is that my memories are discounted as fantasy by them. It feels like they have blocked their own memories and created a fantasy home and family and are invested in not facing the reality. It continues today as they see the world in a totally different light than I do. It will be interesting to observe how Saturn in Pisces will impact us all. LOL. I may have to accept that I’ve been wrong all along or maybe they will have a lot to deal with over the next 3 years or so….

  24. Way to go Elsa. Disassociating to survive; leaving the body began early for me tiny girl. At this time of life, as an elder experiencing a Saturn opposition the magic and charm of the many faceted selves is in the phrase (and title of a book) “No bad pieces”
    Like you I’ve written my way through using the disassociated selves to mend life.
    I’ve told you , Elsa, now I’m using another mending technique which helps literally to stay in the body while I darn holes in my socks!!
    Resilience training
    I love this topic

  25. Love reading this discussion! If you want to read something that will blow your mind open to new and endless possibilities, try reading people like Neal deGrass Tyson or any studies of particle physics. The mystics offer truths that those in power aim to suppress, but if you keep a low profile, you can just live your life and truth without giving them enough attention to make you a target….at least that’s what I’m doing and so far it’s working pretty well. You’ll find “your people” in out of the way places like this. Thank you, Elsa for creating this space!

  26. Hi Elsa

    In the last couple of months I have been having these out of time happenings as well, especially around feelings..and I am also talking 1973 even back to 66 .
    It’s most powerful in the early morning as I wake anything from 4-6 in the morning.
    Sometimes it scares me as well as blowing me away and I have to get up into present life, as I had a huge breakdown in 1966 and a few relapses after that…..part of me is scared that will happen again, even though a deeper part of me knows it won’t . It is truly fascinating and amazing as I realise that we can replay things like this and you can see how our life can be viewed as a whole. x much of my life seems to be inner, it worries me sometimes.
    Have just read the lady above and I so agree!

  27. Is dissociating similar to compartmentalizing? The two things I’ve done since I was young are 1) funneling difficult emotional stuff to my brain and 2) compartmentalizing like a submarine, so if one engine were to go under, the others would stay afloat. They both work wonderfully in getting through troubled times, often with success in areas not under attack. (Mercury/Neptune/Ascendant conjunction in Libra).

    1. I think it’s different. The way you describe this; you have a system of compartments. There are lines / boundaries / segregation. It’s contained. This is more free flowing. Like feelings swirl.

  28. Avatar

    A poignant, yet beautiful post Elsa. I played a song on Spotify last night, had n’t heard it for many decades. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I was that vulnerable teenager again, who doted on her mother but received nothing but silent contempt from her most of the time. Felt such a strong need to protect and comfort that young girl in me, and determined to heal myself for once and for all.

  29. omigosh, this resonates SO much and I never knew what part of my chart to attribute it to. Guessing it’s Neptune sextile Saturn in a yod with my sun/merc/mars as the point. I am also a writer with a similar process (I can use it to describe both memories of my life and imagined fictional scenes), and have always been grateful for the ability to leave my body and live in a scene this way. (I also have cptsd, but I don’t think I’d give this ability up for anything, even as rough as the flip side of finding myself in unwanted flashbacks can be.) It was so affirming to hear a similar perspective on this, and I’m curious to see what this Saturn in Pisces will have in store.

  30. I learned to disassociate at a young age due to childhood trauma. My youngest sister who was a capricorn and died a couple of months ago lost about 10 years of memory due to trauma. I went to support groups and a therapist. I am so analytical myself I found myself watching every reaction of the therapists while I talked lol. I have a scorpio sun and saturn in the 12th. actually the sun and saturn are at 24 degrees.

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