What If Your Child Joins A Cult?

mosta and violetI mentioned being reunited with my daughter with my daughter after a 12 year separation – Love Comin’ Back To You Because Real Love Never Dies.

It’s been really interesting talking to her in ways I doubt you could even imagine.

I want to make it clear, my daughter did not join a cult. I am not going to tell you her personal business.  But I did think of several mothers I have known over the years, who had a child that left home and joined a cult.

The mothers were devastated.  I’m telling you, things like this happen.  Think about it.

Every once in awhile, a kid is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone picks them up and next thing you know, their body is discovered, lying in some field. You know it’s true.

It’s no different with these cults or whatever else your kid might be seduced into. Your kid can be right there… the next day, you’re separated and there is not a damned thing you can do about it.

Some mothers, thankfully, very few of us, become “the mother the bad thing happened to.”  That phrase was given to me by, satori, when I asked her what people… other mothers, thought of me when I showed up at the bus stop with one kid instead of two.

I can tell you this – it’s excruciating.  You are dead inside. It takes a long, long time to come back into being and frankly, you’re never the same. How the hell could you be?

I went through this ten years ago.  My porch light burned out. I could not bring myself to change the bulb for more than two years. I was mourning.  What the hell would you expect?

So anyway, my daughter is back. A few people on the original thread said my post gave other mothers hope. That’s what is prompting me to write today. I want you to know, whatever relationship you had with your child; if you are reunited, it will be exactly as it was. I think this is true, universally.

In my case, it’s really good news because my daughter and had a great time together. We were inordinately close. We really had a lot of fun, all the time.  We have close contacts between our chart that aid this. Her moon is exactly conjunct my Venus in Leo.  She’s my heart, out there walkin’ around… and eventually she walked into a lot of trouble.

I want to mention, this experience is similar to when my husband and I got back together, after 22 years apart.  It was like a day had passed since we’d seen each other. Love is so weird, powerful and transcendent.

I hope you never forget this. Love heals all wounds just like time wounds all heels. We have plenty of both, in this story!

So I am talking to my daughter and I get a kick out of her, like I always did. She is a great love of mine.

I’ve been sending her pictures. I have thousands of them.  I haven’t mentioned that I have all her “quotes”. Old-timers know what I’m referring to. I think she’ll be floored.

This as been very easy for us. I mean, people expect it to be hard or harsh of traumatic or angry or just a difficult painful hardship. In reality, it’s nothing like that.  I realized the reason for this, today.

It’s because we’re not petty. We’re just not made that way and today, I see clearly how great a fortune this is.

39 thoughts on “What If Your Child Joins A Cult?”

  1. i am soooooooo very happy for you Elsa & mosta <3
    followed your story that you shared here for years….
    It is stunning to witness your happy reunion after the Pluto moon devastation…. I am touched beyond words
    you both deserve all happiness in the world- best wishes and much love
    and thank you for the hope ……

  2. I’m beyond happy for you Elsa! I am one of those moms with a complicated story of why my child is gone (not a cult). Trying to make heads or tails of it is what got me into astrology. I have learned to successfully deflect the questions. It’s an internal wound that will never fully heal.

    1. I was thinking there are also kids who have some horrible accident. Maybe they become paralyzed. You have to stop talking about the days prior to the tragedy because they’re gone. You have to live in the now. It doesn’t matter how hard.

  3. Very happy for you Elsa. Ultimately, not much else matters in life.

    My mom shut me out of her life for 15 months, not one word. It was dementia, and I was one of many bad people who could no longer be trusted. One day, she wanted to speak with me. All of the paranoia and guile was stripped away (2 weeks after my aunt died…I’ve always thought she had a word). She was almost childlike. It was wonderful & bewildering, except that her articulation was slipping. Turned out to be ALS. It took me hopping a plane, flying 800 miles to her, and getting her to a neurologist to get the diagnosis. I just remember freezing and thinking No, tell me something else. Glad we had what little time we did.

  4. This story is so moving, so happy for you Elsa. I can’t even imagine how this must feel for you. Did you ever think this would happen? Did you retain hope in your heart all those years? I love what you say about reuniting and it feels like no time has passed… that feeling of recognition between souls is something else, it doesn’t adhere to time/space logic.

    1. Thank you!

      I don’t think I am a person who ever loses hope. But I did have to let go, completely. There was no other option for me. So I went through that and then there was a black period and then I had to reckon with the fact I may never see her again.

      I had another kid. I had to function. I had a lot of attention on me, which I never like. It was like everything burned to the ground. It’s took a number of years to reckon with it. Maybe five or six. Really.

      Eventually, I did come to terms with the idea I would likely never see her again. I really was “the mother the bad thing happened to” and it’s not something I wanted to talk about. Say, like when I moved across the country. It’s TMI. So I have lived for quite awhile, in this way. It’s like I’m missing my arm but I can’t tell anyone and they can’t see it. I live in a vaccuum.

      Meantime, a number of people used this tragedy to ruin my good reputation, both personally and professionally. All lies.

      But I could not defend myself without harming my daughter, which of course, I was not going to do. So I just had to eat that.

      You’re right about the souls and the recognition. This is for good or for ill, by the way. I recognize my daughter but I also recognize the evil in other people involved in this.

      I feel as if I’m in some sort of suspended animation. I give this feeling to this:

      This is hitting my chart, HARD.

      I also think this applies – Not Everyone’s Life Turns Out Well.
      I made that video at a time when the prevailing attitude was that everything and everyone is going to be happy, no matter what anyone does.

      Um… right. 🙂

      1. anonymoushermit

        “Meantime, a number of people used this tragedy to ruin my good reputation, both personally and professionally. All lies.”

        That’s awful and quite frankly, judgmental (and not the good kind)! Unfortunately, most people who judge don’t notice that God is judging them.

      2. OMG- I needed that reminder! I watched all of your videos when you were making them but I was in the middle of my consequences of my bad decisions. I told a friend yesterday that I did not expect a happy ending and that was just a reality- I was on the losing end of choices I made and situations I had gotten myself into. My 2nd Saturn return starts soon- I had forgotten that maybe there was still some hope to rewrite my ending. Much love!

  5. I want parents in situations like this to know they have peers. Not everyone is going to glare at you and judge you based on their guesses or their imagination. And not everyone will view you as pitiful. There are people out there who know that extraordinary circumstances arise and anomalies occur in nature.

    I really hate the Borg mentality.

    1. I can’t imagine what it feels like to loose a child. My heart goes out to mothers (and fathers) who go through this. I do understand how things like this can happen (a child/teen falling into the wrong things plus the hormonal change teens go through can be drastic for some.) I’m just glad she came back. I’m sure the love is that much stronger for all the time spent apart. Thats what time apart does when you love someone, it ultimately strengthens what has always been there. God bless both of you.

  6. You sound pretty ‘high on life’ – good for you & your daughter
    I am just glad she didn’t pass away…I was under the impression that your daughter had a very serious illness & you were prepared for her death or some such….
    At any rate: the joy of the mysterious workings of the universe is so clear in your ‘voice’
    So glad for you – the pure joy lifts us all

    1. Yes, that happened. A nurse at children’s hospital told me exactly that. It was the worst thing I ever heard in my life at that time. I had no clue it was going to get worse… and then much worse, etc. Until eventually, no words could be found so I just shut up.

      I have told my daughter several times, this was by far the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. There is nothing that comes close in comparison.

      I survived this with the help of Stevie, Satori, and eventually my husband who got me to walk into her room 2.5 years after the fact. And to change that porch light.

      This also led me to become Catholic. I mention now and then, I don’t know how people cope with heavy trauma without some kind of belief system. I mean exactly that. Sometimes such bad things happen, you just can’t deal, without grace the comes from God.

  7. Avatar
    the laughing goat

    “So I am talking to my daughter and I get a kick out of her, like I always did. She is a great love of mine.”

    Oh I so get this… my son is the person I love most in this world.

    So happy that you two are reunited!

  8. I can just imagine how happy you must be and how happy she is to have her mom back. Enjoy your time together.

    There really is no explaining the love between a parent and child. I always say that the only people I love unconditionally are my kids. I love my family and husband immensely but I can see me walking away if anything huge ever happened. Can’t say the same for my kids. They are everything to me.

  9. So happy for you and your daughter. Must feel like the Sun finally came out after living in the dark for so long and not knowing anything. Enjoy, rejoice and love!!

  10. So happy for you and your girl. Years ago reading here I thought she was gone forever. I’m so glad you found your way back to each other. ?

  11. ?Elsa, I am very happy for you,that you are able to have contact with your daughter now! I don’t quite understand what happened, but I respect, what ever you are comfortable sharing here.
    As said earlier, it should give us all hope ……for any difficult life situations. You never know what is around the corner, for the better or worse.

  12. Congrats to you and your daughter! Happy for you both. You inadvertently helped me once by sharing another difficulty you dealt with in life and it assisted me to help my mother and gained her 2 more yrs of life! IMO, sans your candor on your battles with SLE, I wouldn’t have had a sense of perceiving how to connect the dots of what was ailing her. So thank you and best wishes for you all!:-)

  13. One doesn’t know what to say in situations like this!
    Best wishes,Elsa, to you and your whole family! I feel so happy for you!

  14. Wow. I remember when all of this happened (can’t believe it was that long ago).

    This is so great and touching. I know someone with similar heartache, and it gives me hope that he will have this someday.

  15. How beautiful it is for you to be reunited with your daughter!.All the best to you and your family.Thanks so much for sharing this moment of joy.

  16. Elsa, I am beyond thrilled for you. I’m an old timer tho the email is different. I honestly thought your daughter had passed.

    I’m also one of those mothers to whom something bad has happened. Not once, but twice. My oldest and youngest made (at different times) poor choices. And you do mourn, and you do go through all of the stages of grief just as if the person passed.
    I did it with no belief system and no support…I wouldn’t recommend LOL! But as someone who knows the hell you’ve gone through in this situation I am beyond ecstatic for you!

  17. Mosta!!!!! I am so extraordinarily happy for you two to have this time together. And the quotes are the best- have a great time!

  18. I, too, belong to the club of “mothers to whom something bad has happened”. There’s a hole in my heart. I am thrilled that your story has a happy ending and hope that someday mine will, too. Enjoy every minute of your time together!

  19. You have put such a smile on my face. I thought your daughter had passed away.

    My daughter once married a man whose lifestyle was so different from ours and how she had been raised it did feel like a loss.

    At one point I stupidly cosigned on an auto loan and he promptly wrecked the car and I continued to make payments. The feeling of betrayal as I worked 60 hour weeks to earn the extra money was devastating.

    The only time my tears have burned my face. I think it was bitterness. ugh.

    I also was second guessed by other mothers when I allowed my daughters to go live with their dad shortly after our divorce. But it was the only way they were going to realize why I left. Some people thought either they were an inconvenience to my single life or that I was such a poor parent the father was allowed to have them.

    Since it was not their business I never told them I (the custodial parent) allowed them to live there. I was working crazy hours as a bail bondsman. At the time he had more money and a new wife who I thought was spending time. This was not the case and the girls came back to me on their own.

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