33 thoughts on “When What You Give, Burdens The Other”

  1. It’s been my experience that folks with Jupiter in Capricorn aren’t necessarily “ungenerous”… it’s hard to describe, but they have a quality of efficiency to their generosity. You, obviously… have a great deal of energy to give, so that’s what you give.

    If you were a loafer but a multimillionaire, you’d be more into spending money rather than energy on “gifts” (literal or figurative). Witness your own generosity of energy when it comes to your many projects for others, like the toptensources.com feed. And it is appreciated, believe me.

    But… do let us know if you ever win the lottery. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. this is a really good topic, I do have jupiter in capricorn, and I give give my energy abundantly, to everyone I love. I actually think this is one of the reasons my marriage failed. My ex, a virgo sun, mars, and mercury, with his moon, jupiter, and neptune in independent sagittarius didn’t want all the love, care, emotion and energy constantly heading his way.

    My caring cancer sun, stubborn taurus asc. hot headed leo mars and mercury, and lastly, venus in gemini… always coming up with something new to amuse him….. was he amused? Maybe, was he all that interested in being amused? Maybe not.

  3. Wow, as usual you throw out something that I’ve actually been thinking about.. how do you do that Elsa? Must be I value your energy. Anyway.. I’ve had more than one fire-sign boyfriend, burdened to all hell with their Corporate CEO lives, tell me they felt burdened being in a relationship with me. And each time, I would be stunned, because I was the type that would disappear at their request if they had too much on their plate (as in, stop chatting, go do my own thing, etc.). I would actually understand what they were talking about. Of course I would eventually get really lonely, but.. I’ve been thinking I have to fix something about me. Now I realize two things: People who always feel too burdened to have fun with me, or just to talk…are probably not going to last with me. It’s a mismatch, plain and simple. I’ve got way too much fire and air, and one hell of a yearning Libra…surpressing it is futile. Accomodate, yes. Listen more, yes. Ignore my nature, no.

  4. The art of using a Capricorn Jupiter to our advantage is to offer help that empowers the other, particularly in the field of self-mastery. It requires hard work to shed the baggage of “control through generosity”.

    Jupiter is in its fall in Capricorn. The owner of such a Jupiter will always be seen to have a control issue associated with their generosity, no matter how or where it manifests. It can be mitigated, but it requires lots of serious effort, much like Venus in Virgo or Mars in Cancer, or Saturn in Aries. These represent the hardest work in the astrological chart.

  5. interesting,

    ‘to offer help that empowers the other, particularly in the field of self-mastery.’

    because that is exactly my M.O. with all my friends, that is Exactly the type of helping I do.


  6. Jupiter in Cancer in the 5th house conjunct Uranus (1 degree). I love giving, and for no reason other than I just feel like it and I enjoy it. Giving can be entertainment for me. If there is a string attached then then I don’t even know what that is but I wouldn’t call it ‘giving.’

    I get yelled all the time by Jupiter in Capricorn & by people heavy on the Saturn for being “too generous.” They mean well, so I try not to take it personally, but I surely don’t like to deal with it

    They worry worry worry, that is all it really is. Some of them that I know think that they can buy future security, I am not of that opinion.

    I am blessed and lucky to trust in the energy of the universe when it comes to giving and I wouldn’t want to be any other way. What goes around comes around from someone else, I don’t even think about it, it just happens.

    I don’t worry at all about giving hugely of myself, whenever and however I can.

    Its never just money either….time, love, affection, sexual attentiveness… If a man is going to be a pinny pincher with the waitress he is going to suck in bed. If I observe one highly cheap act from a guy, then I do not even go on a second date.

    I don’t mind slipping extra cash on the table after my mother leaves 2 dollars when she should have left 4, but I feel turned off when a date short changes a waitress or waiter. And just in case anyone might wonder this, I pay for a date as often as a guy does if not more often, so thats not the point.

  7. Comments on Jupiter in Capricorn. Apropos! (or however you spell that dang French)

    Me: Jupiter in Capricorn, retrograde, second house. In a mundane context, I give gifts (things) only when I feel certain the receiver will value it, whatever it is. To do that, I generally have to know (and like) the person very well. And in many cases, like when I really want to please the reciever, what I give is normally something that hurts to give (like as in a family heirloom, given to a sibling; or something that you’d very much like to have yourself, but feel you can’t afford for yourself.)

    Less mundanely, (Astrosage) whether (my) giving is bound up with some sort of control issues, or percieved to be so by recievers, I’d have to say, yes, when I am being very very generous with my time or energy (or both) there are people who seem only to be able to see some ulterior motive on my part. I’ve always thought that that was (their) human nature. There are people who will praise you (they’ve noticed your generosity), and people who will be (usually silently) suspicious. Anyway, I don’t think I ever give in order to “control.” I may try to give sometimes in order to “influence,” but that effort usually falls on its face. Other people seem to be easily able to influence others, but not me. I guess that phenomenon is described in some other part of my chart. Am I right that there’s a real difference between trying to influence and trying to control? Or not?

  8. hmmm, I’m still thinking about this, I hate gifts with strings, and I neither give that way, Or want to receive that way; I’d much rather just not have whatever it is. But, I do think that jupiter in capricorn likes to see their gifts valued, as in they (we) can’t bear to see what ever it is wasted.. time, money, thoughtfulness.. Just a instant practical “Oh I should have saved that for so and so, who really would have loved it” etc.

    I think it takes effort for jupiter in capricorn to remember that a gift is never wasted, whether the the person you gifted enjoys it or not, giving always enriches you.

  9. When you’re being generous, I wonder, is it helpful to know where others’ Jupiters are? Does Jupiter define one’s ability to receive as well as give? Or is receiving purely a function of venus..or the moon?

  10. Jupiter conjunct Saturn here. I like to give gifts that are useful, or something the other person really wants to receive. If the gift hits the spot for them and is useful and meaningful, I enjoy giving it ๐Ÿ™‚
    What I don’t like to do is give something that’s not really appreciated, so I tend to wait for hints or clues to see what they really need before I offer a gift. I also like to receive gifts of the same nature – useful or full of meaning in some way.

  11. I have never (yet) had anyone not appreciate getting unexpected money, whether its a little or a little more or a bigger amount. It seems to be a very popular, wanted, and well received gift. Otherwise it is pretty damn easy to confuse what I think is awesome or meaningful with, especially with my college aged nieces. They Love to get a little extra cash, and I remember the feeling.

    Services like what you do, Elsa, amd certain other prolific bloggers, those are precisious gifts and obvious labors of love and devotion.

  12. what cassie said.

    uh… i get that more through venus/saturn and venus/pluto

    i can’t stand when people think a gift makes someone else beholden to them. gifts, to be pure in intent have to be given and received freely. and there’s always the danger that what you want to give the other person doesn’t want or need. and then, well… it’s not personal, you just don’t know them as well as they do…

    tricky stuff, that.

  13. jjj- influence or control, what folks are seeing is a contradiction.

    Either way, when you present Jupiter (all things jovial, generous, cool and fun) Saturn (influence, control, restriction, fear) comes along for the ride.

    When we sense a contradiction, we get suspicious of motives.

    People around your own age should understand this more readily than most, as will folks who are 12 years either side of you in age.

    You are not alone, just pat of a select bunch.

    There is a lot more to say, but I’d need to see your chart before saying it.

    For what its worth, I’m part of the Venus in Virgo bunch. That’s not great buckets of fun either. But once identified, we can work on making use of a difficult placement in a better way.

  14. One thing that makes it enjoyable to give you tips, Elsa, is how easy it is. Three clicks and I can give you a tip. If only it was just a three click process to pay my bills, life would be a lot sweeter in the areas of the everyday stuff.

  15. jjj- to answer your actual question influence and control are the two faces of Saturn.

    Influence is an Aquarian trait, Control is a Capricorn trait. They are both very different to Jupiter, though Jupiter finds influence easier to deal with than control.

  16. but what about internet banking, loons? are you into that at all?

    I have Jupiter in Gemini in the 5th (6th? still learning the differences in my chart placidus/equalized house systems).

    I don’t care about actual gifts (weird, because I’m a Taurus) but I loooove when I am influenced by kindness, joy, lightheartedness and creativity…those are priceless to me.

    Of course, money’s always appreciated.

    In many aspects of my life I see Saturn as a disciplinarian more than anything else. Discipline is vital…for me. Maybe I say that cuz I have so little??

  17. It is so simply true that different people value different things, and when people don’t realize this, they get mad at eachother, not realizing it’s not a difference between generous and selfish, but just a plain difference in how people operate.

  18. I think this is pretty easy, you just need to know what the other person really values, what’s important to them, and then make your gift in this currency, and not in yours. A good example, I like stuffed animals, but I better don’t give them to my double Capricorn friend, because he likes tech gadgets or money… So, if you know the person well, you’ll find something in their currency, and if you don’t know them, it doesn’t matter anyway and gift cards are fine.
    By the way, in German “Gift” means poison ๐Ÿ™‚
    Jupiter in Gemini, I love to give but I’m keeping the stuffed animals for myself now…

  19. “By the way, in German โ€œGiftโ€ means poison ๐Ÿ™‚
    Jupiter in Gemini, I love to give but Iโ€™m keeping the stuffed animals for myself nowโ€ฆ”

    Conny, this little bit of international (Jupiter) trivia (Gemini) brought to us by you!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    har har har

  20. Yeah, I don’t want to poison my dear friends…
    Great keywords, Elsa, I finally understood from an astrological perspective why I absolutely LOVE my job as a translator – thank you so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. In Norway, the past is history, the future is a mystery, but being single is a Gift. ๐Ÿ™‚

    This is such an interesting topic. My Jupiter squares tend to overextend themselves bigtime. I think the problem with the Cancer sign in one’s chart is you tend to (want to) give and give without making sure that what you’re giving isn’t burdening the person. Sometimes it’s even like “mama knows best” I know you don’t want this, but I’m giving it to you for your own good. At least in my chart. The problem with me is that I’m selfish with my time, especially on weekends. I am hesitant to hang out with someone unless I know we’re doing something fun and not sitting in the house (the fire in my chart).

  22. Giving with a hook attached just isn’t giving, it’s baiting. Once a thing is given it’s no longer in my consciousness. And if someone doesn’t want it, well they can bin it. Their call, their property.

    Just spent the day with Teenie, my bessy mate, and the talk got around to gifts her mum used to give her.
    One Christmas she got a car vacuum cleaner, which was the last thing she wanted, asked her mum “why did you give me this?” to which her mum (Jupiter in Virgo) responded ” well I wanted to get you something you’d never get yourself but which you would use”.. Teenie frowned and said “but I won’t” to which her mum replied “ah but you should!”.
    Teenie thinks it might still be in its box in the attic.

  23. your tag line reminded me of this poem, which i always thought was very cool:

    Gratitude -Louise Glรผck

    Do not think I am not grateful for your small
    kindness to me.
    I like small kindnesses.
    In fact I actually prefer them to the more
    substantial kindness, that is always eying you
    like a large animal on a rug,
    until your whole life reduces
    to nothing but waking up morning after morning
    cramped, and the bright sun shining on its tusks.

  24. lol Lynn E, that kind of clutter is especially bad feng shui!

    Giving without expectation feels the best, then its such a nice surprise when someone really appreciate the gesture, even if they dont appreciate the gift and pass it on or whatever. Also giving without expectation translates energetically and makes it easy for the receiver to be honest about how they feel about it.

  25. good point grrr.. Teenie just got herself a book on sacred space clearing, and is in the process of decluttering her whole house. She’s the most generous giving soul I have ever met in my life.

    We were brought up to share. “If you don’t have much in life, then share it.. if you have plenty, share that”

    And I do believe what goes around comes around in its own way..not in the form of giving with expectation from that same person, more that the universe likes to see circulation of resources, I think anyway. I’ve never starved a winter yet.

  26. I think Conny hit the nail on the head when she said: “you just need to know what the other person really values, whatโ€™s important to them, and then make your gift in this currency, and not in yours.”

    I recently made my brother P cry. I had not expected that reaction, but when his tears welled up and he choked up, I knew I had “given in his currency”.

    Two of my brothers are the most instantly generous people I know. They both will give you (loved ones and strangers alike) the shirt off their back, when they have no other shirt themselves. No strings attached. (None of us are in the money, btw. The three of us struggle to make ends meet.)

    Recently (2020), as he was helping me out with something, I became aware that brother P had been dying for a Thingamagig since 2012. Like, he was madly excited about this Thing, he was orgasming just telling me about it, but his finances had never and never would allow him to spend the money on one for himself. Yet, here he was, guiding ME in buying one for myself and then doing all the work in setting it up for me. (This will be a longterm investment for me, and I needed one, mine having died.)

    Anyway. I immediately knew what I HAD to do, and would do. I ordered HIM his very own Thingamagig! F-ck the money. I figured I’d find a way to pay for it.

    I waited for the right time to spring it on him. (There’s more to this story, but gotta keep it short, and leave other people out of it.)

    His reaction made it clear that this gift had indeed touched his very core. Because, you see, he gives gives gives to everybody, all the time, in THEIR currency (he’s an ace at that), no strings attached, but I don’t think he too often receives anything in HIS currency.

    It was the first time I’d become aware of something that would ABSOLUTELY THRILL him, so, having that knowledge, I had to act on it. I could not have lived with myself knowing he’d be out there without one.

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