Is it love at first sight for the ASC/DSC person or the planet person? That's what I'm curious about.

The Descendant ruler person. I don’t know if it would feel as strong with a sextile, but then again the entire synastry would have to be taken into account. A conjunction could do it for sure.

His Venus sextiles my ASC but trines my DSC.

I think with the trine, the attraction for that would be fairly strong.

Ironically, in both my long term relationships, the Descendant rulers did not form any aspect to each other. However, both my partner and I have our Descendant in Cancer (although his Moon is in Libra and mine is in Scorpio), with our Sun and Mercury in Cancer conjunct each other's Descendant. Both our Moons fall in each other's 9th house, and are also placed in the 9th in our natal charts. Talk about finally feeling myself with him.

My ex, with whom the relationship became rather abusive despite how beautiful it was in the beginning (in fact, we couldn't keep our hands away from each other), was a Virgo with Taurus Moon and Pisces rising. Thus, he had Sun with early Mars in Libra conjunct his Descendant. His Mercury was in Libra conjunct his Mars, and the Sun/Mercury/Mars combo was hitting my 8th. My Scorpio Moon was familiar with this energy, but it became hard to adjust to it, she needed something lighter (she's in the 9th house, after all). Once again, my Moon was not aspecting his Descendant ruler, but his Descendant ruler (Mercury) squared my own Mercury, the ruler of my 8th! If only I knew back then what I know now...

To sum up, check the condition of the Descendant ruler in both your natal charts first before starting the comparison. Secondly, check what the other's Descendant ruler does to your own rulers and vice versa. You never know what you'll find.

Yes, the Descendant thing does work. Haha. Mine is Leo and since I am using the Equal House System, my Mercury and Mars conjunction falls in my 7th.

I am attracted to the Leo qualities that I do not possess as an Aquarian Rising. My husband of nearly 24 years has his Moon and Mars in Leo and he is fiery and dramatic. LOL!

I have used this technique for family members who I don't have a birth time for, I look at their spouse and how their spouse comes across and have done charts like this. Of course it is just fun to play with charts this way, too.

Probably going to answer these questions out of order but it'll make sense.
Mercury rules my ASC. My natal merc and sun are both in the 7th house. Sun trine Saturn. Merc in a T square w/ moon pluto opp.

I'm usually the older partner, a couple times by 10 yrs. Unfortunately there's still a stigma attached to the older woman/younger man relationships in our society that was difficult.

This time around I decided to go completely out of the box & date an older gent. 17 yrs older.
His Sag sun is conjunct my DSC, his Jupiter on my ASC, but wait for it... My Saturn conj his DSC/Mars on his ASC.

So once again, I'm the 'saturn figure'

His Pluto in Leo (chart ruler) is opp my NN in Aqua. He's a bit of Leo Scorpio drama queen, but my Scorp stellium can redirect from his 1st house.

I have really good luck with Gemini & Scorpio. Pisces, not so much. Taurus are just too sloooow, but my family is chuck full of Leos. That's my 3rd house relating to my sun.