"Went for a run this morning, chugging along in my new running shoes.
About mile 1 it hits me that I have to immediately take a dump, right now, so I go into the woods and find a nice tree, get my shorts down around my ankles and had a butt explosion, barely made it. Then I felt a stinging on my left leg, swatted at it and saw it was an angry hornet, about then another one lands on my left nut and stings me. I'm trying to swat at that and see more hornets swarming. I'm trying to get my shorts up, loose my balance, step back into my fresh pile in my new shoes, get my shorts up over my knees and hobble out of the woods. Not good....tried wiping the big chunks off my shoes, get my shorts up and start running back to the car, it was a hard run. Left leg and nut are swollen and sore, probably will be a long day."
He has never texted me anything like this, ever. He is a complete neat freak, which makes the stepping in fresh dung scenario even funnier. Had to share, hope nobody is offended.
🤣 good to have a laugh
Oh God. Poor dude!
As a runner who has taken her fair share of pees in the woods, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!