I started going to the Y, twice a week. My dogs are having a bad reaction, especially, Sparky. But really, it's all of them. They are just used to me being here and they don't like my husband and I leaving in two cars. We do this, because after the class, he goes to his mother's. I come home to work.
Anyway, Sparky is a bit of a wreck (he hides under the "left open" dryer door), off by himself... but also, all four dogs, want to be under my desk, at my feet. This is normal for our new black dog and Sparky, but Iggy - no way, until now. It's Lila too.
All four dogs hang around me, like leaves on a tree. It's heartbreaking in a way. I am trying to address, Sparky's insecurities, but I am afraid, psycho Lila is telling the little dogs, "She's gone, she left you, she doesn't love you anymore..."
Seriously!
Anyway, it's hard to work with eight dog eyes staring at you. This is unprecedented.
@elsa Awww….what a pack of loving cuties your dogs are ❤️. Gotta laugh 😄at all those eyes upon you, but yeah, it would be a bit tricky trying to concentrate on your work.
That's precious! Perhaps giving each a tiny treat just before leaving the house, and again immediately upon your return will make them regard your excursions positively....
@elsa Major dog scene here. My homeless destitute friend living with me has 2 dogs. When she lost her house, I promised her a room. No homeless.
She was getting rid of everything, including all the cats. I DID NOT know she was bringing the dogs! (muts) A BIG un neutered 2 year old male, and a little fluffy rat dog.
So THAT has been a huge adjustment. I had to let go of a few things. (Standards).
We have different animal values. She cannot afford to feed or provide anything that takes money. SO?
How does a person make these kinds of decisions?
Trauma. Makes one pretty self centered. Most of her decisions appear to be emotional. Not from the head. No sign of change.
I'm burned out and tired from some of this, but my dog has company as I'm gone 13 hours a day. She is still licking nervous from my 2 months of long shifts.
And I would be more lonely if she were not here.
I need to go to a yoga class. I am a forever Yogini, cant help it I'm from Eugene Oregon in the Seventies; and I thought everyone did yoga!
Lost my favorite yoga teacher during covid. She closed and disappeared.
I found her a year later sitting in a chemo chair, when I was at the cancer center with a patient. So I got stuck there. But yoga studios have opoened up. I must try again.
I live by HANFORD nuclear reservation. The yoga teacher is a scientist; moved here from Los Alamos, New Mexico. She got the bad breast cancer from the nuclear industry.
Same as my roomate; she was a radiation monitor for 18 years. Then got the bad breast cancer. She is disabled now, from the treatment side effects.. Thats why she hit bottom. my good friend of 30 years. I love her. I think we were sisters or at least same tribe in a past life. Sometimes that life bleeds through when we are just sitting here, and I know I'm working through that shit!
I spend my work days one on one with 90+ men, injured by the energy companies and the military. They are the "old guard" x-military, with high security clearances who finished their careers in the nuclear industry. They are serious, gun freaks (Me too). Loyal to their beliefs. They went from their mothers to their wives to their nurses. They have never been alone.
I have been ALONE for 10 years. I'm hoping I can shift this with Pluto going to Aq.
Although I like to think I have learned solitude. Ok. When can I get out?
I'm pushing 65 in January. And sun damaged. I have healed from my damaging relationship and wish for a nice one. I was talking to a woman my age who is about to give up dating because the porn using senior guys cant give her attention if there are young ones in the room.
Pluto is opposing my moon. So there is THAT! It just feels like more suffering, not psychopathic abuse anymore. But still isolation, like living in a submarine or spaceship.
I know the long slow burn of Pluto opposing the Moon. Hang in there.
Pluto has opposed my late degree Cancer Moon for years. Earlier, it opposed my sister’s mid degree Cancer Moon. The sign Cancer is associated with breasts. We were diagnosed with breast cancer within months of each other. I was Stage 1, caught on annual screening. She was Stage 3, stopped annual screening years earlier.
Not to be a scare monger. Just putting it out there.
@sue-ellen Thank you for your reply. Hearing "slow burn" is validating.
Interesting timing. Thats big. Hopefully you have your health today.
Yes, thank you. I’m a breast cancer survivor. My oncologist told me at my first appointment, “You’re healthy.” All my bloodwork CMP & CBC were in the normal ranges.
My sister is still undergoing some treatments. The main chemo and radiation is over.
I had an interesting convo with a 35 yr old. I'm trying to understand my mellenial children (40).
She expressed remembering growing up on tv cartoons. Then animae came out. In reflection, aniumae was sex themed. Like S&M and everything but hidden in cartoon. So my kids grew up on this. They are major gamers.
They dress up like the characters, take on the personas. I am a packed 12th houser. I "get" archetypes. (last night Robert Phoenix did a nice show on the 12th house)
So animae brought a new layer of archetypes for the millennial generation to act out. They are living archetypes.
So much so that my mothers cardiologist will not leave character during an office visit! They are in our face. They are pushing these dark archetypes into the light.
To be seen, addressed, out of closet?
Be who you want to be?
Be who you don't want to be?
I am just getting a glimpse of understanding, and Im on a roll. I'm excited at seeing this. I need more.
@nona It's very, very interesting. If "interesting" is something you value, this is a great time to be alive!
The freaky one is Iggy. He is a standoffish dude and now he wants to crowd under my desk?
They usually only swarm like this during major storms.
"Lips Finnegan". This is the name my husband gave a woman on the baking show with weird lips. We were talking about who we'd like to win.
"Lips Finnegan is pretty good, but she's intolerable."
@elsa wanted to add to the chorus that when I see you’ve started a sentence ‘my husband’ I have to read and see what he’s been up to….
@elsa THE LIPS!
I like adornment. I GET IT ! I love fashion. I do love the dresses the weather girls wear lately, the 40's styles kind of coming back. But the LIPS girls !!!!
What happens next? Do they just shrivel back to normal? or do they shrivel down wrinkly? Or do you have to inject your lips for the rest of your life? Its not like boob implants. I worry about this, so I dont have to worry about the died suddenly and our bio digital convergence since It's for our own good.
@nona these are the weirdest lips. They are not blown up, but forever pursed! They are like puckered up for an extreme kiss, so tiny little mouth. They never relax.
I have also been in cancerland with my mother. She has completed 3/6 chemo treatments for terminal endometrial cancer.
I took a week in August with her for her birthday. Took her to the beach, nice dinners etc. We had a wonderful visit. Her Leo sun was in heaven. She enjoys the attention.
She is still running around with energy. Blessed be.
I have done my inner work on her and me.
She has not had the same tools and is catching up. It is heavy and rewarding to speak truth without fear. With love.
I explained I had to leave to get the lessons they could not give me and now I am bringing the gifts I learned.
I expect suffering and decline in her future......my future. Sad winter ahead.
When covid came I downsized and bought an OLD car. Dumped a bunch of money in it. Now I have GREAT OLD car that will last a LONG time. BUT its front wheel drive, too low to the ground. I cannot get over the snowey pass to daughter in Canada, or down the icy Columbia gorge to mother.
So I bought a 2016 BMW X5. I am DRIVER. I took high performance driving school and road raced with my ex. We had a racecar. I LOVE this car. I got a good deal. It only had 60,000 miles. 6 cylinders. It does everything I ask without hesitation.
My mechanic told me "Keep the old car, shop for a Lexus, trade the BMW in before 90,000. You will love the Lexus, you will thank me."
Apparently BMW is proprietary, and make repairs miserably expensive. And I will do exactly as he instructed.
My handyman is 70. My mechanic is 70. How is this all going to go down 🙁 ?
@elsa Right? Thanks for validating my reality. I'm going to work on this. Engage the youth!
My mood today
I logged onto the forum today after a week. I’ve been busy. There were 100 new comments on this thread.
Busy place!