So I went to the hospital this morning to be with my mom when she was transported down to the rehab facility. She seemed ok, going along with everything, telling me we have to make sure to turn off the phone and asked if her number could be transferred to the new place, how she wondered what we should do with her dishes, etc.
I walked down to the transport dock with her. They wheeled her into the ambulance and put the tie downs on and I handed them her tote bag and sweater. I wished I could have gone with her but there wasn’t enough room and I don’t think they let you. I said I wanted to say goodbye and I started crying. I hugged her and she started crying. Whenever I would leave her when visiting her place, I often teared up but she would never cry. She would always be good natured. But this time she was crying, too and it was a wrecked feeling. So I told her how nice it would be to be out on the road, as she hadn’t been there for a long time. And I told her not to talk the drivers’ ears off, so she laughed. Then I cried all the way to my car in the parking garage.
But my brother met her there. I hope she’s ok but I always think she will just talk and talk and talk and tell everyone how nice they are and chat with people. I will call her tomorrow.
She’s now 4 1/2 hours from me but only 30 minutes from my brother.
Honestly, I really don’t care about our Thanksgiving here this year. Daughter and her family are going to our son-in-law’s grandmother’s for Thanksgiving (he lost his grandfather in August). And idk of the ridding of the crockery is enough to make amends. I’d rather spend it with my mother (and my husband).
Anyway, I’m exhausted (coughing all weekend. ALL WEEKEND). Looking forward to calling Mom tomorrow.
@allie120 ((((Allie)))), I’m so sorry for what you are experiencing. Your post made me tear up re: you and your mom crying. Hope your cough clears up. Strong emotions can run us down (I know this personally atm, too). Amongst the chaos, we need to find time to breathe, pat our cats, chill a bit, and care for ourselves 💜.
@allie120 This clip is Scorpio Keith Urban taking care of Taurus Glen Campbell when he was on his last leg of trying to work with dementia and Alzheimer's. He would forget a lot of things, but he did not forget his music. So, his wife and kids let him continue to work (dignity and respect) and Keith Urban ... look at him watching over him while he is trying to do his job. There are people out there Allie that do the right thing and you will with your Momma. I know it hurts you and I am so sorry you will have to walk this path, as I just did. The people that took care of us eventually need care. You do the busy work for them and have to hide the pain.
Watch Keith sit so close and look him in the eye when he forgot the words.... carrying him through it.
Carry her home. I am so hurt for you. And I am so very sorry. While everyone is losing their minds and acting like assholes, screaming into the void.... you have Mom.. and you will be so glad you spent your Pluto transit on her (and you) This is such an important time for you, not to be spent on any of the bullshit. You are the most focused person I have ever known. Do everything possible to avoid getting sucked into all that. All the rest.... not your job and you are way above the paygrade of the bullshit. After all, isn't Pisces your 7th house? ❤️ I was told a long time ago that Aquarians are shallow. I know different. I am married to a rising.
@soup that was all so beautiful. Thank you. It made me cry buckets. It’s all the feels. I’m sure my mother’s younger self would feel like me, scared for her and sad but how we must cherish and respect and love.
Yes, my 7H is Pisces and I have Saturn there on the DC and my mother’s and my Saturns are conjunct.
I will talk to her tomorrow when my brother is there as I couldn’t get aholdnof her today. I hope she is just chatting with everyone and making friends. I just want to tell her I love her and I’m thinking of her.
@allie120 She needs to hear your voice. And always remember, the depth and the beauty are in the messes.
Watch that clip again, Scorpio presses his knee into Taurus so Taurus can have his spotlight. He is fumbling his guitar, forgetting some words, he just needed a buddy to sit by him so he could get through it. The end result was beautiful. The woman who taught you to tie your shoes just needs you to sit by her so she can get through it. I get so much more from giving than I do receiving. And so do you.
You are going to ace this Pluto transit. I just know it.
I am on family leave act to get time with my mother. Healing THAT relationship. Apparently there are tv shows encouraging people to not attend Thanksgiving over politics? This is so painful. I am sorry you are hurting.
@nona yes, and people are doing it.
I'm happy to say we're not having to deal with this, but we know what it's like, as we were omitted from Thanksgiving over the vax.
Honestly, we didn't care. Brainwashed is Brainwashed. My husband taught me to have compassion for people in this state, before we even got back together. I'm glad it came up, at that time. If not this would have really hurt me.
Really would like to escape my life right now (tropical holiday). This year has been intense. It began with dear Dad passing in Jan, followed by my anti phospholipid syndrome Dx, ongoing sibling dispute; concerning dads assets, 3 shocking family divorces, 3 family friend’s deaths, and now my MIL with end stage cancer in hospital.
Got another subconjunctival hemorrhage (the opposite eye). Once again, the whole white of my eye is covered with blood. No medical explanation. The concern for me is the frequency and extent. I wouldn’t care if it was just some small red spot.
I have no doubt that stress plays a role with my eye and autoimmune disorders. I know that I’m not alone here, during these dark times/challenges. In today’s wacky world alone, how could one not struggle with anxiety?. Only a psychopath could remain sane (they don’t suffer from anxiety) 🙃.
I’m going to pay for this.
I texted him separately asking him to please keep his father out of this, as the issue is between he and I.
He’s probably going to call his father, who is having meetings with clients today and will be annoyed and I will get some brunt of this.
I did as I was told but also I refuse to participate in his projection of anger. It seems he wanted to beat me down and have me crawl with my tail between my legs. But I expressed no anger. I was straightforward.
@allie120 I'm sorry.
The idea that everyone should see things the same way has become the norm for many. I think it's good, your point is clear and not expressed angrily.
That, "did you just seriously", is one of those phrases, that did not originate in the person!
@elsa For real.
Most of all, I don’t want my husband irritated by this. I can handle them not really liking me or whatever they feel. To be fair, they are always good and polite in person and I do know we’ve had good and loving times. It’s just that with my husband, it’s a whole package. He wants us all to get along and not have these issues. And I totally agree! I wish they could have just come to me one on one and left him out of it.
@allie120 you did not cause the challenge. You are not bleating about your vote. Don't let your stepson's failure to cope, and his rudeness, land on you.
That was a good note you sent and you can defend yourself with it. Point being, don't let your husband put this on you... but also, I would not try to have these conversations in the future, because they can't do it.
I have learned to ignore EVERYTHING when it comes to my husband's family. You won't be able to break them, you don't want to anyway, so just be Aquarius and detach.
Be airy! "We don't agree on X, but how about 'dem Yankees?" And smile!
@elsa Oh wow. My husband has both absorbed me into the family but also apparently because I’m not one of them, I can’t ever seem to absorb enough, if that makes sense. He told me to get rid of it, then text them that I did. I don’t think he should have done that. But I didn’t say anything. I wonder if that’s how he would have been with their mother?
@allie120 a good, wise friend explained to me, my husband's family was not my family and never would be. Not saying this is true for everyone.
But once she told me that... I have kept an appropriate distance since. I don't try to be in their family. I let them have their family, the way they like it.
This comment and the action I took, because of it, solved all problems in this area.
@elsa That’s a good perspective. My family is my tribe and it can bristle when I am questioned, why are you doing this, why don’t you do that? I don’t even know how to answer: only “because “.
@allie120 Hey girl. Remember that Pluto is done with Cap now. I remember we talked extensively about it long before. I am coming off Pluto conjunct Venus. 🤪 (I look like a monster) You have the sun issue. It will make you want to 💣 Don't take the bait. Your mother needs you.
You have been in that marriage that you want to keep for 2 decades. Step kids .... you know. We have talked for hours. I know you love those kids. Just don't take the bait. Let him talk to his kids.
I know you didn't mean anything by the thingy... but they are looking at it through different eyes and Cancer daddy will side with the kids. Just back out of it if you can. Pluto will soon let up and you will be fine. And this turmoil will destroy your health.
Do physical activity with Pluto here. Write another song, create .... which you are exceptional at. CREATE with that energy like you have been and let him deal with his issue about things (what you have in your home is none of anyone's fng business) XO you got this... you've had this.
Be aware of Pluto and please take care of YOUR HEALTH. I am doing the same.
This transit is rough if you let anyone bait you. And they will. Ignore. You have been good to all of them. Good to hubby. The focus should be your mom, how you feel about it and your health.
My best friend, a Cancer... lost her son a year ago. (he was 38) Her daughter just died in her sleep at 42 years old. A week ago. Got a mess over here. Everyone is still dropping dead on me .... they just lay down and die. It has taken a toll on me .... but I refuse to give up and I want YOU TO refuse this nonsense too. You don't deserve to pay a price for bullshit when you have a sick momma. xoxoxox take care of YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@elsa Hi E!!! Everyone is still dying all around me. Young people. I have lost the words to give condolences at this point. And I am about out of tears. When the phone rings I already know it's someone calling to report a death. Got no choice but to stand up to it. Who would have ever guessed I would be the strong one?
I can't stand to see Allie that upset. I came to relax and read and thought.... OH HELL NO. What ever happened to mind your own business and don't worry about what I have in the privacy of my own home. I am so sick of Fng people. What ever happened to people loving their family. It's like they forget the last nice thing you did for them!!! They know her mother is sick and how upset she is about it. F them all!!!!! God, it just pisses me off.
@soup Thank you, dear! It’s good to see you and I’ve been wondering how you’ve been. I’m so sorry about your friend. I can’t believe how many people are getting the worst end of it.
I think I will be ok. I just get so upset inside when this stuff happens. You will see me going about my day (maybe a little distracted) but inside I’m screaming, crying, terrified, sad. Even my husband thinks this is all ridiculous but you are right, he will acquiesce to them and in some ways I admire that because he’s not clinging to anything. He’s cardinal: do the things to get the job done. And that job is keeping the family together. I’m fixed. I have my ideals and they have theirs. I guess I’m demanding they leave me me alone to have mine, as I leave them alone have theirs, dammit.
I hope your health is better! Mine is good, although I have felt stress in all this (or, rather, anxiousness) in ways I’ve not felt in maybe a decade. So, thank you for the reminder. I do need to focus on my mother because that is another thing that dwarfs this stuff.
@allie120 I stepped away when I was rattled because I love these people, and I do NOT want to argue with them for any reason whatsoever. I had to handle myself. But I saw this and just felt so protective. I know that story and I know you are good to them. The parts you love about him being so family oriented and so loving toward those kids can also 'ouch' a bit sometimes. Cancer cannot help it. I know, I am the rising. I am going to kill over my kids and theirs. First instinct, although I have gotten better about not going bat shit over them with age. You are married to a good man. But you also have had health issues, and it scares me to see you get upset because I know what stress does and you cannot have too much... you just CAN'T! Please don't let a smart ass make you feel anxious or sad or scared that your hubby will go off. You know me... that artifact would now be placed in a shrine in the middle of my house under a spotlight, so they had to look at it every time they came over. 🤣
You have all that Virgo. You are always trying to help. You mean well. People are looking for a fight all over the place and it has nothing to do with an artifact. That is about things that have nothing to do with you. He needs to go talk to someone! You are no one's scapegoat!
We ended up texting back and forth talking about the symbol, with me saying I believed in preserving the original as how sad I was that it was co-opted and Inwould never espouse the ideas associated with its more modern interpretation, as I knew people personally impacted by it. And I did say I didn’t understand why this struggle session had to continue as the piece is now gone. And please, I want them to let their father have holidays with them, as he loves them and I love them, too.
So I’m sure I fucked up because 1) I was told to take care of it. I didn’t want it lingering but 2) I should have just said the piece is gone but this ultimately made me want to throw up. It made me physically ill to just bow down. I think I enddd it with love, as I genuinely love them. But at the same time I was wondering deep inside if this was one of those things for which I can never apologize enough and I will always be made to be a scapegoat.
I’m sorry. I felt cornered.
@allie120 People have drawn a line in the sand. You however are having a very real and very intense Pluto transit, and you know exactly how to manage it. You have two things before you. Your health. Mental and physical. And your dear mother.
What he thinks of a piece of whatever shouldn't even be a discussion. And it's none of his business what you have. He doesn't have to like it. And he doesn't have to live with it. Everyone has thrown that N word around so much ... words I never hope to hear again... 'Jab' wtf is that? 'nazi' wtf is that?... I will add the words 'charcuterie' and 'narcissist' just for shits. 🙄
I have really given up arguing with or even discussing my beliefs or listening to anyone else's. We all have the right to believe whatever the hell we want to. And this election has brought out the absolute worst in people. Everyone is suddenly an expert. I don't see any experts. I just see people fighting.
To avoid that I stepped back and asked myself... will any of this trash matter to me or does it really? It doesn't matter who POTUS is... not a one of them give a rat's ass about us. And those two are old and shitting in their pants right now so...two old MF's wearing depends under their suit pants with enlarged prostates so they piss the bed, be sure of that and both are being used so a bunch of billionaires can make more and take more. We cannot do one thing to change it. We just see it easier now.
My kids and I do not have the same political belief system. But I love them so deeply and so unconditionally that I respect their view AND I try to remember that I raised them to have their own mind and their own voice ... like I can shut my Gemini or Libra up. Those two could easily talk me to death and I love it... love that they have their own voice and will not back down. I want to know they will stand up for themselves... I will be dead soon. I won't be here to help.
But they will not tell me what to do. What to have in my home. So, we just don't talk about it. Friendly advice... I would have E take those photos down because his name is on them and .... the internet is not a good place to share that. Breathe. I can't tell you what to do. But I know you pretty well. Like me, you are FIXED. I know, I know... you have Virgo and Cap. But you are an Aquarius fixed with Pluto conjunct your sun right now. That means so many things. I did that transit. Sure, I was powerful... it also got me DIVORCED. I had nothing. Lost every single belonging and had to work two jobs to eat. And I got really sick. I know you know..... take care of yourself. That dude is not an idiot by any stretch. He is a brainiac and will win with daddy cos daddy is a Cancer and .... My husband treats my kids like royalty. Faced with a choice I would choose them first every time. I know it's stupid. (Cancer rising!)
I am just trying to help.... 🖐️ .... going back to mind my own business now! Music, hobbies, piano, grandgirlies, making money, saying what I want when I want to (but refusing to fight with anyone especially fam) I'm a Scorpio. I don't believe 90% of what I see and hear when nothing is going. When Pluto was conjunct my sun it was so easy to flip that switch... I was standing my ground by God. That was the transit that trashed me. Looking back, I should have just let it be an inside job. Now after, I was surely able to take care of myself and my kids without any assistance... but if I could go back....
That sweetheart that used to post here told me when this got here, and it's here now, to create. Take classes. Learn new things. Paint, draw, make music, dance, do self-care, go to the gym, and again, create. Work my shadow, and my triggers... meditate, long baths, long walks.... and she was right. I am surviving this one. Might kill me later... but I am not afraid of it this time. Lessons. During Pluto to your sun remember everything is a mirror. Everything. 😘
@soup just saw this. Happy to take them down,, or I think she can do it herself, via photos... not sure.
@allie120 You're so welcome. Your mom and your SUN ... your existence is the highlight right now. Not him. That is all you need... just have E take it all down. Protect yourself.
@elsa I can’t seem to remove the photos. I should have blurred out the names but I was hot and that was my mistake. I’m ok with you taking them down. Thank you and I’m sorry for the extra work.
@allie120 Friends Aquarius sister was just life flighted today. Just got the text. Please protect yourself. Let NO ONE upset you. xo
@allie120 ❤️ I hope so too. But it won't surprise me if we are to bury another one. I have never in my lifetime watched this many people I know, die.
https://twitter.com/FinanceLancelot/status/1858950652124102769
I suspect he's right about this.
@elsa These hit hard. I wonder if this is the same creator who’s made other similar ones.
Things are so different from when I was 30-something, even early 40’s. It’s as if I’m thinking in analog and younger people are acting like history began yesterday or in 2015.
I would say that I was probably similar at that age but the differences or leaps in years were smaller. Back them it was fashion, music, maybe anti-war hippy stuff. Now it’s “bash you over the head” if you don’t see it the way it’s been reformulated:
“The past was alterable. The past never had been altered. Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia.”