Our natal aspects
Me: Venus (Pisces!) square Neptune and Mars square Pluto
My ex: Mars square Saturn and Moon con. Saturn
Synastry
His Saturn squared my Mercury and Mars.
Let's just say The 'bad' side of our relationship...
No matter what I did, it was never 'good enough' for him. He saw me irresponsible and envied me for being happy. He restricted and limited me by telling what to do. It was constant criticism and psychological abuse until one day escalate into (my) physical aggression as a reaction. Anyway,sick relationship...but passionate and intense, which was hard to break up.
Saturn square Mars-red flag!
I would not always say "abuse," but "fighting" does seem to be a thing. My dad and I had Mars/Saturn connections and god knows he had a temper and I got yelled at a lot, but I wasn't abused. On the other hand, it does seem to be more likely that it might go that way because of the anger. If someone is already angry and prone to losing control physically (or they just LIKE to lose control physically), then....
My dad was verbally abusive to my mum and started getting physical before she left when i was a baby hey have mars opposition pluto and mars square saturn synastry….
kab may be you should look at aspects of your chart/ progressions/transits ... If its pluto then scorpios in your life could be the triggers if its Saturn then some elderly people / caps ... And also the planets involved in which houses like for example if its 4 may be people from your family ...... Could play out in a different way ... If your chart has potential for abuse ... This is just my point of view ... What am trying to say is that this could be one of the reasons ...
anyone with deep daddy issues and momma issues. they tend to "hate" on men/women they get paired with.
unless they heal on their own, i don't think it's curable.
sometimes the abusee finds them. not really sure if there's planetary correlation to this. but maybe alot of mars & saturn aspects. it's something i haven't even researched.
edit: venus in 12th seems to "attract" the meanies. but to be fair,that's from researching a few things on my own, and it's all about "upbringing" still.