I don't know why I'm always, "sunk", at the idea I have to go to a funeral. Invariably, I am uplifted in some way. Or deepened. Or something.
My neighbor's service was exceptional. She looked beautiful and rows marked for family, we're packed. There was a good turnout otherwise.
A family member spoke, and then the preacher spoke about how we all have an appointment with death, or the death angel. "Memento Mori" in Latin, for Catholics. There's value in being reminded of this, from what I can tell.
It was striking, how she looked pretty much the same at 16 years old, as she did in her casket. Gemini or Virgo rising? She was a woman with a big smile, BIG, and a distinctive voice and laugh. Must have been hell on wheels in her teenage year. So freakin' cute! Still cute! Like her husband (who she met when she was nine), never had a chance.
Everything was pink and white, which I'm sure is as she wished. Here three sisters were grieving... she was the baby sister, but it was a great service. Her son made it clear he was staying. Apparently, the neighbor on the other side, came by last night, to ask about this. This family is everyone's best neighbor...
But this want meant to be about your (and my) appointment with death. Do you ever think about this?
He also talked about what we endure in life for some people, it's quite bad. He felt she endured very well and I agree. He talked about having a choice, which is undeniable. This gal went through a lot in the last six months...post losing her husband, two years ago. She was cheery to the literal end.
I left there feeling very good about the future.
Do you think about your own appointment? Why or why not?
I forgot. Maybe everyone has heard this but it was new to me.
The preacher said, when you lose your parents, you lose your past.
If you lose your spouse... you lose your present.
Worst of all, if you lose your kids, you lose your future.
Some have lost all these things!
He also said, your kids are a message you send to the future. It was a very good service.
@elsa Wow, I have never heard these words, but I can certainly understand people feeling these things upon losing loved ones. I do relate to the loss applicable to me (the past).
@elsa I also have never heard this before but it’s profound.
I remember when a good friend lost her mother some years after losing her father. She’s a few years younger than I. It was an incredible realization that she had no parents anymore. Of course we know people who’ve lost their parents. But maybe it was because she is near my age. And then I’ve been with my husband when he lost his. It’s like they’re now untethered. I still have my mom.
If I lost my husband I don’t know…I would feel more lost than ever.
I do not consider the moment of deathor afterlife much as I can not really picture it and all the accounts feel wrong to me. But the process of ageing and all the losses therin, as preparation for death occupies my attention quite a bit. Embodying the paradox of decreasing physical/intellectual agency and increasing present awareness is fascinating.
“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” Franz Kafka
Your neighbours service sounds lovely. Very cool that she looked nice and youthful too. Such an amazing soul to be smiling till the end.
I think about the afterlife and death regularly, kind of in a spiritual context (not in a dark, negative way). I don’t give my funeral a thought because I’m not really into the formality of it all. I’d be happy if loved ones came together and shared their fun times with me and celebrated my transition to the afterlife. Good music would be playing in the background, of course 🙂.
But when I try to set the time, she's too damn busy!
The service sounds beautiful and her spirit, in life, seems to have been so pure and good, rising above such painful and sad events. It does give me pause. I think about death constantly and it almost feels like my mind is just in the mode, for as long as I can remember. I like it here with all my people and animals and trees and the sunset, etc, although not without wonder.
@allie120 thank you. I felt elevated by the whole thing. It's like I've lost my ability to judge others (Saturn in Pisces). It's because of things like this.
@elsa Your words and thoughts on death always give me a different perspective and a more comforting one, too. I guess it’s because I don’t ever talk about it with other people (it doesn’t come up), so it’s here that I can read and express myself or ask questions. Thank you!