Oh... can I ever speak on this. 

So, I just told both my kids I need to know when the statute of limitations runs out on parental crimes. I need a date. I let them both speak when they decided they wanted to, over the years. I listened closely. I even said to them and meant it... if I hurt you in any way over the years when raising you, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to, but I am sure I fell short at times. I love you. I can only hope you can forgive me.

Then, I shut it down. See, I am watching their parental skills, and they seem to be stepping in some holes. When they bring up anything I ask, how is that daddy job working for you? You perfect? No, they are not. 

If they made decisions as adults that caused them some problems and then wanted to blame it on some childhood wound, I took note. I saved those notes. I just reminded my youngest son that his 16-year-old daughter who is rising up to meet him right now is going to mow him down with the same garbage. I mean, at what point are we old enough that we aren't blaming mommy and daddy? 

My parents were literally feral. But as an adult my mistakes were mine. Daddy/Mommy issues or not. Free will.  

A girl just gave me some grief. She was pissing and moaning about her boyfriend's mother. Blah blah... but she kept talking. And here is what she said... boyfriend's mother is paying for.... you should read this list. 🙄 The reality is that woman shouldn't be paying for or roofing anything for either of them for any length of time. And they are complaining about her? She isn't fooling me. They are both waiting for the inevitable. I hated what my mom went through at the end, but she got the last word, and the complainers didn't get a dime from her.  No inheritance. 

The complainers will be faced with their own child doing the same thing to them. They don't think so because it hasn't happened yet. It will. They will remind mommy or daddy how they were a loser and fell short too. Yes, they like to diagnose. They like to 'spiritualist' it too. Like there is something deeper going on. I really love when they psychologist it. Cos, you know... just because you have no credentials you can still diagnose situations and people 🙄  

I am so sorry to hear of you daughter being ill but happy to read that port has been removed and she is doing better. A wonderful thing to celebrate. How beautiful. 

The revisit of issues. If I did a revisit of all the things that happened in my childhood, I would be in a corner eating my own hair. It happened. I lived. Both of my parents sincerely apologized. I truly accept and forgive their mistakes or how can I expect someone to accept mine? They left letting me know that they loved me... they were a mess. Our fam was a mess. I miss those messy people so much. I had no idea I would miss them like I do. If the truth be told, those catastrophes made me the brick house that I am today. 

I am a walking Pluto transit. My stellium is in the 4th and I am going through the squares... oh, more family BS. I too thought I couldn't find peace until I helped them resolve their adult issues. I would give my children my eyesight. But I am not listening to any of it anymore. Call a friend. It's not open season on my feelings anymore. 

I was listening to Annette Benning in an interview. They asked her about her kids and asked for parenting advice. She laughed and said she says.... mmm hmm a lot. She says she lets them step in the holes and feel the pain. She says they have to. They have to to be survivors. And she is right. I believe we should guard and protect them when they are minors... help them when they are starting out. Then let them figure the rest out just like we did. They can only run on the same excuse for so long. Then you have to ask... okay, X happened. 10 years ago. What have YOU done to correct it? 

I was just saying this yesterday or the day before.... I have to deal with this family baloney for the next 20 years AKA the rest of my life. 🙄 

Welcome, Teresa. That's a tough transit!

My thoughts are that Pluto is about control, but more specifically the things we can’t control. Of course acceptance is an aspect of healing those things, but I think it also offers a space for catharsis. Where everything is laid out on the table, but with an understanding that sifting through it (the past, the hurt, the confusion) can't really change it, but sifting through it can change us in the present by the act itself. Maybe there’s different understanding of the things as an older more mature person. Maybe a new perspective is reached. Sounds to me like you are holding a type of alchemical space for your kids, while also observing what’s coming up for you. Personally I think it’s a beautiful gift and I do think in the end that a Pluto transit ties up a lot of loose psychological ends. Although I know the process is brutal. I know. Pluto is intensity itself. There is nothing gentle about it and can feel relentless. 

I'm in my 40s and it took me forever to forgive my parents. I still suffer from health issues due to a decision that my mom made when I was 17. I still suffer from intense self-criticism and overthinking due to my dad berating me when I was a teenager. Sometimes I'm good at dealing with these issues, and other times I am not. And now that I've made it to "over-40" I've accepted that it is all part of my life, for better or for worse. I also learned that my parents are human just like I am - luckily I learned that a while ago now. I completely forgive the mistakes they made because I know they were trying and life is not easy. My dad still struggles with things from his childhood, that he passed on to me, and I sometimes catch myself passing down nonsense I swore I never would. But here I am, human too.

Your kids have to realize you are human too. They have to release you from their superhuman expectations. And try to make peace with knowing that we all will have adult issues for our whole adulthood, including your children. Be there for them how you can, but the rest they have to deal with on their own. It's part of being a grown up. It's a bummer for sure, but what else can we do?

I’m really enjoying reading all of this! As I’m currently sitting up in my bed after lights out waiting to take my 7 year olds blankey out of the dryer , rearrange it inside the dryer and turn the machine back on to completely dry it. So that I can take it out in an hour and sneak in her room and switch the small interveral between blanket washing blankey with her real one. 

Pluto is ingressing aqua. Her moon is conjunct my sun at 3° Leo. I just want my baby to have a clean warm blankey. Ya know. 

Life might get complicated soon… My son will have Pluto conj his Sun on his solar return in a week. He told me not to cyber stalk his little girlfriend. I didn NOT listen. That girl is so nice!! She recently had a thing at church. I’m so glad she seems really good and nice ya know.

And my middle, my virgo preteen girl. Her nVenus is conj my nSun.  Pluto.

Pluto. We Went sledding when Pluto ingresses. Like ThEN . I had a big blowout crash. They were all fine. Watched me slide backwards down the hill and bang my head. So glad it was me and they were all ok. 

Good. thread. 

blankey time.