Eva I think what you are referring to, is what happened with my mother and her research into sexual abuse. I don't mean to discount what you say because I know it can happen. Also, my mother doesn't have friends. 2 ladies she's known for over 50 years who she sees a couple of times a year; that's it. She doesn't socialize. Her daughters are her social life. It's up to me to get a grip on that.
Thank you, Julian.
(((Hug)))) Everyone. 
Julian, thanks for that video link. Bang on and helpful.
@Kashmiri: According to my psychotherapist, I have Asperger's and so does my soon-to-be-husband (in his case, it's more than apparent since I've been living with him!) Our house is close to my own, so you can see it indeed is a problem. I can't wait until February to move out!
I have a hypervigilant narcissistic mother. This is quite different from the oblivious narcissist who always tells you you're wrong even when you're right (thus causing a split where you are unable to ever please the mother). In this case, the mother tells you you're always right even when you're wrong, leading to ego inflation, aggrandisement, delusions of grandeur etc in the child. (Of course these are present in the parent as well who gains narcissistic supply from their child "needing" them to validate the child's existence).
My mom's mom was an oblivious narcissist who tormented my mom growing up. So my mom vowed to be nothing like her mom, to "break the cycle," which led her to promptly go to the opposite extreme. Every child wants proximity to their opposite-gendered parent (classic Oedipal complex) and since my mom was never allowed to be close to her dad since her mom interfered her whole life, she decided to do "the opposite" and be extremely close to me. She raised me with attachment parenting without even my own bed, my whole life! I never had my own bed because she forced me to sleep in her bed and share every emotional detail of my life in some kind of sick compensation mechanism. In fact there is a term for it, though she won't admit it! See < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest>
Something I noticed is that my mom is a Leo, and I have Venus in Leo in the 4th house.
I also have the Moon's south node in Sagittarius so part of my particular struggle has been seeing both sides of an issue and truly believing that both are valid instead of paying lip service to that while maintaining an air of superiority. My Moon's north node is Gemini conjunct Chiron. (I had a speech impediment growing up and often "talk over other people" or give people the impression I don't care what they're saying and am not listening to them when they talk to me -- it sucks but I'm learning to handle it better, though it will never go away completely).
As another commenter said, it's like growing up as a crack baby. Narcissistic Supply (NS) is like crack and it's virtually impossible to change just by talking about it or reading books. It's a start, but there's always the risk that the new information will just be used to boost the ego even further through over-achievement and superiority. I was an extreme over-achiever and co-dependent who would constantly pay lip service to having empathy for everyone and "helping others altruistically/for their own good" when in actually I had 0 empathy, I didn't even know what it was ... still just learning. So every time I try to fix my friends or tell people "important things for them to hear" I need to remember it's just my ego trying to get attention.
One more thought: I grew up in a "spiritual" household where we talked all the time about spirituality and things like "God is love" etc. But my family was not spiritual. Or rather, they did not have faith. I grew up never having faith and thus I was always worrying. Just like my parents. My mom is the worst worry-aholic I know! And worry is the opposite of faith. Now I am just barely beginning to have faith that "everything is in its right place." After hearing so much conflicting information growing up, after being gaslighted for years (told I was crazy and taught to second-guess my intuition), I am finally coming to the realization that "all is always good" and "all is always for the greater good of the whole." That is true faith. Knowing that everything is happening as it is supposed to happen. Knowing that I don't _need_ to do anything to "succeed" at life. My whole life I've been an overachiever and workaholic who did everything I could to build a career, support everyone around me (numerous codependent relationships with narcissistic partners, friends and business partners) -- basically I became the ultimate co-dependent who gains his NS from being respected and adored for supporting everyone. But I had to manipulate them into even letting me support them, and once I supported them I had to manipulate them to keep them under my thumb (without even realizing I was doing it). I had to convince friends "It's ok, let me pay your rent, it's no big deal-- see how much money I'm making?" and so on. I kept climbing the ladder and as I would get richer in physical wealth, so too I became poorer of spirit. It sounds like some corny made-for-TV movie but I was literally manifesting everything I needed _except_ love... because the love I was looking for is what my mom taught me love was, which is her code word for NS. True love is "God's love" which I have only been able to catch a glimpse of, just barely.
Another example is that I have recently had a bunch of realizations and have to constantly remind myself _not_ to tell people about them. Even posting this article on this blog is really narcissistic. I have to remind myself that "everything I speak is burned" so I should only speak what bad things have happened, and never speak of the good things I intend to do.
By constantly telling everyone what I'm doing in my life, I am seeking their validation and approval that I'm on the right path. I'm expressing my worry that I'm on the wrong path and looking for them to tell me, since I second-guess my intuition too much to know. That's not true growth. True growth only happens and can't be discussed or even understood intellectually. It's the truth of myth itself.
This article helped me a lot:
"The Draconic Transverse" by Barry Long
< http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sumer_anunnaki/reptiles/reptiles47.htm>
Also:
"Ego, The False Center" by Osho
< http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm>
Welcome, Jonah. 