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Spotting A Narcissist

Elsa
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 Elsa
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narcissist

I've never heard this put so plainly. I think it's true.

You?

 

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Allie
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Interesting! Definitely self-centered or self-absorbed if they think everything is related to them.

Do you think they are referring to the clinical definition or the term used in the more general way nowadays? Do you think that people who claim to have social anxiety are sometimes people who are too self-conscious, too self-absorbed? I don’t mean to say social anxiety isn’t real but maybe it’s often just succumbing to being unwilling to learn how to act or having never been taught/modeled how to act in social situations?

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Elsa
 Elsa
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@allie120 so many great questions. Social anxiety is so common, it deserves it's own thread. 

On this concept, I have met people like this, over and over. You see it when you enter a new group... a church is the example that comes to mind. There will be one or maybe a few individuals who have a grip on the room, so to speak.  If you fail to kiss their ring, it almost always spells trouble for you!

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Allie
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@elsa Aha! Would you think it odd that I can’t think of anyone I’ve met, off the top of my head?! I can see this type of person, though. I will have to think about my past interactions. 

My feeling is I know I’ve met people like this but maybe didn’t notice this trait…I mostly get a creepy vibe, overall. 

ok…yes…the type of man who thinks you’re going to be charmed by him but you’re just…er…ew…no. Yes. I remember a couple people like that. One was a much older man at the place I’d just been relocated. He was very excited to take me to lunch and take me for a ride across the ferry in the next town (the ferry is a real thing)…It made me uncomfortable but my future best friends had already clued me in on him. He asked every younger girl to go with him. I think the difference is he didn’t get mad when we refused. He was just clueless. But, dude, you’re like 30 years our senior and you’re married.

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Yes true. As mentioned, I have seen this in churches a lot. Church leaders mostly. They strive to be in power. 
I’m thinking of when my husband was a Knight of Columbus and we would go to their functions… there was one man who made a lot of speeches and led the group. He seemed off to me. He had a real creepy vibe but no one else but me seemed to notice. I hated these functions but tried to blend in and be polite. I think he could tell I didn’t like him as he could not make eye contact with me. When he spoke to my husband, and I was standing right there, he would not look at me. 
 

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Elsa
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@sirena-oceana Yes, and the come down from on high and talk to you.

But this happens in all groups. I have a strong personality and I'm quite hard to control and manage so I get sideways with people like this, quickly.  I'm not really into the naked emperor! 

 

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Hades Moon
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I experienced something along these lines recently. A man I was seeing in a professional capacity changed his behaviour towards me. He suddenly became cool and distant. When I analysed our interaction prior to this change, the only thing I could come up with that may have offended him, is that I didn’t laugh out loud at his attempted humour. I just politely smiled as I found it in poor taste. I continued to be warm and friendly but he appeared to just not be able to get pass me not LMAO 🙂.

At first I thought my line of thinking may have been flawed as it seemed so petty, but since then I have witnessed his level of like towards people match how loud they laugh at his jokes. He appears to need constant admiration/positive reinforcement  from others in order to like them.

I do see truth in the above statement.

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Elsa
 Elsa
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@hades-moon yes, they need constant food... constant feeding. It's gross.

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