I don't either, allie120.  Finally, the getting-to-be-someone-close to me has slowly come to understand that I don't respond according to that script, *and* that I don't engage in those non-reindeer games.

Our synastry features Moon conjunct Venus, on both sides.  My Gemini Moon conjunct Cancer Moon invites, and tells stories to Gemini Venus, with Cancer Moon (in 8th).  Probably helps that it's clear, that if things are stagnating - uglily - between us, then I'll be moving along my road.  (But, I don't know, really, what understanding clicked in, there.)

But, we don't share a home, which helps, maybe.  Probably.  I don't actually know for sure what caused that penny to drop.

But man oh man, how I loathe lowest common denominator ploys.  (My 11th house Pluto plays well with my Venus... I appreciate at least a modicum of creativity - some sense of larger society... avoiding cliché behavior, e.g. - in relationship.)

@Buendia, best wishes in all of your encounters with those currently close to you.  Thanks for reviving your thought provoking topic! 

Buendia,

Is it possible to grow and develop while in a relationship? How? I know the answer is yes, essentially, if that is what an individual chooses to commit to. I just want to find a way to live the answer to that question 

You've taken the first step. You are on to yourself. Huge.

I would look at the underlying reasons (usually childhood needs weren't met) and see how you can "recover" these unmet needs and parts of yourself that feel unbalanced as a result.

Can you give love *to you*? Do you love yourself? Really love yourself - fully accept yourself, respect, are living in alignment with your own values?

Can you forgive yourself?

Can you give to another?

I think self-recovery work is super important in these situations -

Good luck.

Constant criticism and instant disapproval for anything that gives joy to the other person. 

Talking in the background, forcibly claiming attention when the other person is deeply focussed on someone/something other than them.

Denying saying specific phrases seconds after saying them in an argument and insisting that you are imagining them. Consistently. For years.

Making you feel that you are selfish whenever you make yourself a priority.

Getting their will through covert or overt methods. For example, if they wanted you to go somewhere at a specific time, and you were sleeping, they would start clanging kitchenware or close doors with loud noises, so you wake up, and then deny ever doing it.

I could go on and on and on. At its heart is the constant cat and mouse game of having power over you. When you reject their authority or any right over your time, attention or emotions, this behaviour escalates out of the fear of losing you.

In my experience so far, there are no ways of avoiding this, except for pandering to their will till the point you can. After that, put your foot down. It may lead to WWIII, but your sanity will remain intact.

Signed,

Moon under attack from a cohabiting Pluto.

Same here.

I'm sick of what is happening around me and elsewhere in the world. Fucking dead tired of it.

My kid and others are hurting. No contact with pals or school kids, except neighbors and random meets at parks.

Emotionally hijacked over the obvious mortality we all possess and are forced to be "virtuous" & ignore anything not emotionally profitable in regards to our "identity".

Last I checked, being forced or purposefully virtuous is NOT virtue.

CNN cut off a Mr. Bowmann in the middle of his speech highlighting the ill deeds of Rahm Emanuel, which reminds me of Edward Bernays, nephew of Freud, who is donned "Godfather of propaganda". 

Seems many are seeking external truths, which are all largely obfuscated. I'm attempting to seek my internal truth and allow it to outwardly be expressed.

Then, I get folks again attempting to reinforce the virtuous angle of doing what every one else is doing on me. It appears to me that we are being further taught to dehumanize people and negatively objectify them too.