I’m sure many of you who know me here know that my husband loves to host the holidays. He’s a Cancer sun, Sagg rising, Libra moon. I’ve been with him 24 years so I’ve been attending, helping, and hosting.
Our biggest family gathering is Christmas Eve Day (topping Thanksgiving as the second). I love it, too. A few years ago we started doing a Yankee swap and two years ago was the first time L (oldest granddaughter) participated (kinda sorta). Last year she understood it a little more and she enjoyed it! We think we’re going to ask everyone maybe put some candy or a little thing in the gift, so she’ll always get something a 8-9 year old wants (the swap isn’t vulgar, but there’s wine, things adults use).
Last year when it was done my husband mentioned how they used to go to his aunt and uncle’s when he was a kid and how much fun that was and how he still loves those memories. He said, these are times L and S will remember forever.
That’s so sweet and true. Up until I was 7 or 8 we had big family holidays with my aunt, her parents, my uncle, cousins, grandparents. It was so much fun. Then everyone moved away, retirement and job relocation, and it stopped. And then it was just my immediate family. And then when I was in my teens my dad was drinking a lot and my mom would get mad and a couple holidays were my dad passed out and my mom mad and crying in the bedroom and my brother, sister, and I just looking at the dinner.
It wasn’t all 100% bad or good because that’s how things are. But it feels like the bookends are the most prominent.
So you make your own memories 😃
@allie120 for years I hosted Thanksgiving and made everything from scratch. I closed my business and for days leading up to it I would cook. We made sure the tree was up and that our family was stepping into the holiday season when they entered. Then the girls would stay the night with me, the next morning we went straight to the Santa parade after Pops chocolate chip pancakes. We saw the parade, went to get pictures with Santa, a trolley ride and had lunch downtown with fresh pie and hot chocolate. And after all that.... off to the craft fair where we had handmade ornaments decorated with our names and the year for our trees and bought homemade fudge.
I cherished this time. It was a very big deal to the girls. Thursday and Friday were mine. My oldest gd will be 17 soon enough and she still talks about it. They all remember. I am so glad I did all that. Those memories are stamped into their brains as happy memories they will never forget. If I lived there now, I am not sure I would be up to the challenge of all that because that was an on your feet job for days with no stopping... but while I was able to do it, I sure did and I am so glad I left that for them. You will never regret the time you give to them Allie. These times are the best times of my life. And according to them, they agree. Years of close family gatherings, food and a lot of fun.
@soup OMG I hope not.
Story time:
When we were at the 4H fair and after we went through one building, we all wanted food. It was about 9 am. We got egg sandwiches from the 4H kitchen where our neighbor was working! We brought the sandwiches to a big open tent and everyone ate. S, the youngest, is a good and fairly adventurous eater. L is not and she wanted something else so she was taking longer. S was done and got up to wander the tent. That was fine. I could see her, few people were around, and I’m loathe to be a helicopter all the time.
But she started hanging on the straps that hold the poles to the tent and although she’s just a little kid…no. So I said, projected my voice firmly:
”S, get OFF those straps NOW.”
My husband 😂 was mortified, I guess, because he told me to stop yelling like a crazy person. Then he said, “S, come on over here and sit down 🙂”
I just ignored him. In fact, I think about it and laugh. Are you kidding me? The kid is hanging on shit and … no. It’s not even a thing that will ever happen so … no 🤷🏻♀️.
🤣😂 In my head I basically went:
Dude.
We go out to eat with the girls and I’m constantly (nicely, as it’s not a dangerous situation like the tent):
Get off the floor
Get out from under the table
Don’t put your feet on your chair
Yes you have to wear shoes in the restaurant
Don’t talk with your mouth full
Use a fork
No one wants to see the food in your mouth
Be quiet and respectful in the restroom
And every time I think “oh God they’re going to hate me and think I’m a mean old lady” but I can’t not correct them because it will only help them in the end.
And every time they hug me, want to sit on my lap, ask me for help on something and every time I just can’t believe it and how there’s always the love. I swear to God when our parents would say, “It hurts me more than it hurts you.” I would think that was such a lie. But it’s often true. I mean, they shouldn’t have said it because every kid hates it and doesn’t even understand it, but I understand it now.
I still always hope they will love me and take good things away. I have 5H Cap with Mercury and Venus there. I’m not my husband’s high flying Aries 5H 🤣
I need to add that they are good girls. So good. But for some reason, the table manners is not a priority. This stuff was drilled into my head from day one. We weren’t even permitted to get up from the dinner table without asking permission first. Just saying…some things are a PITA but when you’re older you don’t even remember how annoying it was to be schooled every day. And it just flows and you’re ready for any situation. And you always look good 💅
@allie120 I never hesitated to correct the girls. And I was not that nice about it. I just said, get off of it now. Do not hit your sister again. If you scream again, we will have a problem. You asked for it now eat it. You are NOT wearing that. Go brush your teeth. And of course... I love you. I said it all the time.
Sons said they were glad the girls knew manners and understood a yes from a no. Understood what an inside voice was. Thank you. Please. You are welcome. May I?
I police them on the internet. I called one of them last week. Said .... take that shit down before I tell your dad. It was down immediately. She has no idea how I can see it. Well, I can. They are mostly pretty cautious with the internet, but it was this one thing. Nope. After I told her I love her, and I don't want people to exploit her over a mistake. All was fine immediately.
A woman told me my grands were none of my business. I said maybe you have nothing to do with yours... but it's called grand MOTHER. And they are my business and yours should be your business. They are my family. The neighbors are none of my business. Randoms are none of my business. My children and grandchildren will always and should always be my business. She did not argue but if she wants to ignore the fact that she has two generations of people that she is directly connected to, that is on her. I will never stop supporting them.
The fact that you care enough to say get down (because she could get hurt) that you are watching them closely because they are little... teaching them. That is love Allie. They will never forget that you loved them enough to get in it with them. They are blessed to have you.
@soup I love all this. It’s setting up a foundation. I’m happy that in this family we’re all on the same page. So far there is nothing so out of bounds that it cannot be handled. I’m just in awe of the love.
@allie120 You deserve all that love in return. You are good to those people. All of them!