And the consensus thus far seems to be Pluto, which was my first guess but... I'm curious about it bc I don't see a lot of Pluto in our synastry (of course I have no idea if that was really his birth time).
It does feel very Plutonian. I was reading an article that said the a plutoniun person (which would likely be hime) engaged in behavior like mysterious ness and pulling away to engage the non Pluto person in synastry to react. Which seems appropriate. I also think there might be an element of Neptune bc drinking is a factor.
Quirkque, the astro info doesn't show up for me.
When I had a Pluto conjunct Moon transit, I fell in love like your description. He had a 5 planet Scorpio stellium and his Pluto squared my Moon (age difference, my Pluto doesn't make any Moon contacts in my chart). He was just as obsessed, if not more. But I did have an indication of what Plutonian obsession really felt like (I also had it with a job, with a Pluto/MC transit).
What you described is exactly what the Plutonian did to me as well. After it ended, I recognized just how covertly controlling he was.
Natally, I have Venus (5th) square Neptune (7th), Venus rules the 7th house. I personally found it easy to get lost in Neptunian fantasies, but it felt much different than the Plutonian. Plutonian feelings were for me, much deeper, do or die obsessive rather than just losing myself in the romance of it all with Neptune.
It wasn't until the aforementioned Pluto transit that my rose colored glasses got ripped off for good.
I think Plutonians and Neptunians often get together - negatively expressed, Pluto controls Neptune easily. Positively expressed, Plutonians and Neptunians touch each other and the Universe in a way no others can.
I know I have a Pluto Moon and Neptune Moon natally. But I definitely have more Neptune then Pluto. Pluto is trining Jupiter Right now for me, but that's about the only Pluto transit I have RN.
And the way you describe Pluto and Neptune people's interaction seems very apt. I do feel obsessive and it's not healthy at all. And indeed he is very controlling. I know he has Mercury Scorpio natally but...
Quirkque said
I know I have a Pluto Moon and Neptune Moon natally. But I definitely have more Neptune then Pluto. Pluto is trining Jupiter Right now for me, but that's about the only Pluto transit I have RN.
What is the aspect and orb between your Moon and Pluto? That can definitely be obsessive. Also what is the aspect between Moon and Neptune? With hard aspects, I can perhaps see becoming obsessive if something feels emotionally vague.
For me, the transit was the way of experiencing a Pluto obsession. My Pluto isn't strong in my chart, so that transit seemed to whack me but good! So, so emotionally draining but ultimately cathartic and healing.
beachfrontbabe said
Quirkque said
I know I have a Pluto Moon and Neptune Moon natally. But I definitely have more Neptune then Pluto. Pluto is trining Jupiter Right now for me, but that's about the only Pluto transit I have RN.
What is the aspect and orb between your Moon and Pluto? That can definitely be obsessive. Also what is the aspect between Moon and Neptune? With hard aspects, I can perhaps see becoming obsessive if something feels emotionally vague.
For me, the transit was the way of experiencing a Pluto obsession. My Pluto isn't strong in my chart, so that transit seemed to whack me but good! So, so emotionally draining but ultimately cathartic and healing.
My Moon Pluto is a trine, though I'm not sure of the exact aspects. Venus Opposite Neptune is another.... Also Uranus opposes my Venus/Moon/Sun all kinds of stuff... Moon is opposite Neptune.
Im also very close to my Saturn Return which is frightening.
Quirkque said
Is this obsessive love a Pluto thing? What aspects attribute? Have you ever had it? Could Saturn be involved as well if it seems impossible to break up, no matter how bad it is?
I've never felt that way myself, but I attribute it to all the Earth/Fire placements in my chart. Water types are most prone to obsessiveness, since they tend to cling to things, or have things cling to them.
Aside from a dominant Water element in the chart, certain Pluto aspects can make a person obsessive in love (e.g. Pluto-Venus aspects, particularly the hard aspects; or Pluto in houses 5, 7 or 8). Pluto is obsessive because he fears loss. Wherever Pluto is in the chart, there is a fear of loss and a potential for obsession. Since the 12 houses cover general areas of life, the specifics of this are up to the individual, and are determined by things such as upbringing and life experiences. A Pluto transit through houses 5, 7 or 8, or to personal planets such as the Moon, can bring an episode of obsessive love to the native's life, even if the native is not prone to feeling that way (sometimes it can come in the form of the partner being obsessive, if the native does not own that energy themselves).
In synastry, hard Pluto-Venus contacts will generate an obsessive love. Pluto-Mars, Pluto-Sun and Pluto-Moon aspects can do likewise. Neptune-Venus contacts can do similarly, though with Neptune there is no fear of loss, only glorification of the love object. There is an aspect of worship with Neptune in extreme cases.
Saturn has nothing to do with obsession, generally speaking. Saturn can point to a separation in some cases, depending on what planets he touches. Flowing aspects can have a binding effect, but it is more of the practical nature. No relationship is impossible to break up (says the divorced lady ;)).