What if you can bring a twofer to the relationship- diagnosed clinical depression AND a naturally morose and moody personality? It can happen! 🙂

Buendia, my best friend and I have been talking about relationships - many conversations, about various relationships we have.  Ours with one another, each of us with our kids, our siblings, our moms, etc.

Last summer, we sat talking until very late after a supper among friends.  A wonderful sharing of thoughts, and stories, getting to know one another better, like friendship goes.  Last winter, he told me that he had suddenly realised, that night, that he wanted very much to kiss me, at one moment when he recognized how happy and relaxed I was to be spending that moment in his company.  But, he recognized that kissing me, that evening, would end the enjoyable moment.  I would have been upset, distressed - and he was right.  Instead, he arranged other suppers, inviting me to some of them, whenever I was with mutual friend (because he's tricky like that, , opposing - which I admire, by the way, my 2nd house is closely conjunct his ).  He was going through a long period  of feeling very low.  Anyone could see that.  But that can happen, in anyone's life - an unhappiness linked to our function, either because we're doing our best to do what we must, or - sometimes, and, as for him during that time - when everything we're doing isn't actually helping us to build toward whatever we know we were born to accomplish in our life.

Phew!  My Saturn is in my 3rd house.  Thinking about things that really matter, and finding the words to share what I really think about whatever it is we're talking about. 🙂  That, increases my happiness.

I know that for me, interacting with people who love me, who I love, is very important for my well-being.  I could add that I have natal    opposing  - making it more important still, for me - but I think it's true for most of us mammals.

Yesterday, my best friend met my son for the first time.  They discovered that beyond having several shared interests, that they hugely enjoyed one another's company.  (Me telling each of them they would had served only to allay the natural nervousness of meeting someone who is going to be part of one's social circle, regardless of liking or  not.  Ha.)  Next time, they're going to cook our meal together, because both love to cook.  My son left with a light heart, looking forward to calling his new friend to discuss the menu for our next shared evening.

If both people are supportive, it's definitely possible.

When I met my spouse, we were both at low points. He was depressed by circumstances, so he stopped being depressed after the situation passed. I was already depressed for many years and coped with it by escapism. Depressed people can be or feel very lonely. I naturally tend towards depression and continued to be depressed for several years afterwards, but he was extremely helpful in that there was someone loving that I could ask questions and talk about stuff with. It was helpful to have the support. Depression was something I ultimately had to resolve myself, but it was helpful to have other, supportive people around. There was more than one thing that contributed to my feelings of depression, and I had to resolve them slowly, one by one. I did consider medication if I was unable to resolve it myself, because I would be temporarily and briefly happy then go back to being extremely depressed most days, for what felt like no reason. Having other neutral or positive people around can naturally lift you up by being themselves, even if only a little.

I love what Bob Marley said about relationships: "The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. What you have to decide is who's worth suffering for."

Teresina, it's so uplifting to read that you and your spouse met at low points and supported and comforted each other. It flies in the face of all that pop psychology malarkey about how you have to be completely okay and content alone. Being able to survive alone is one thing, feeling real joy is something else.

These responses are incredible! Thank you! 

I have been spiraling the last week. My chart is lit up right now. With all the fire, I had to do something about it this evening. So, I ran two miles outside, aggressively. I am not a natural runner. I feel better than I have in days, my head is clear, and the tunnel vision has subsided. 

I am grateful for the insight, knowledge, compassion on this forum. I am thinking deeply about these comments

ScottishFoldSoul said
anon, wait, love's not a form of psychosis? 🙂  

Heehee.