Scott wrote this on an old advice post. I was writing to a young, male, cellist...
"I was going to comment on this post when it first was published a few days ago...but, alas, I'm not as young and agile as I once was and needed the requisite time to gather my thoughts in my old (or at least, "older") age.
Like your poster and even more so, like your description of his inner life,
I was once young, impetuous and severely frustrated. When I was young I was a simmering repository of frustrated sexuality, just boiling-below-the surface rage and more talent than I knew what to do with. I was extremely accomplished in my field and on the way to, if not the very top, at least close to it. I also had both real arrogance about myself in relation to the world mixed with a good measure of false bravado. I barely suffered fools and thought everybody was dumber than I was; or, at least that no one was really any smarter or really much more gifted in my chosen field. (Actually, the field was chosen for me, but that's another story).
This exchange makes me wonder: does repressed sexuality breed anger or does repressed anger breed simmering sexuality? Or are they a 2-way symbiotic street? It's one question I never did figure out though I have come to peace with myself in my old (er at least, "older") age. The tremendous anger along with the almost pathologically strong sexual drive I had when young frustrated me to an incredible extent back then and caused me enormous pain.
I'm not sure I honestly believe when you try to relieve the pressure valves of enormous anger and repression you don't lose something artistically. There is an inherent relationship between suffering and artistic creation and integrity. I know I've said that perfectly well-adjusted artists have produced great art as well as tormented ones, but at 1:42am in the morning, listening to Beethoven, and thinking about all this, I'm not so sure."
What do you think?
For me the final paragraph gets to the heart of what is the most interesting part.
"I'm not sure I honestly believe when you try to relieve the pressure valves of enormous anger and repression you don't lose something artistically. There is an inherent relationship between suffering and artistic creation and integrity. I know I've said that perfectly well-adjusted artists have produced great art as well as tormented ones, but at 1:42am in the morning, listening to Beethoven, and thinking about all this, I'm not so sure".
He is coming to this from a perspective of maturity. He described well his thoughts and feelings in his youth. The pain, repression and anger have been reflected upon and has brought with it a deeper knowing.
Through maturity he has come to recognize and appreciate the potentiality available to the artist who is capable of a full-on confrontation and consciousness of the darkest internal spaces. It's Pluto work. They say it's an internal job and it is to all who are brave enough to go there but.... In the life of the artist it's brought into the external through his creativity. It is transformed into something very real and very powerful. The true artist cannot separate himself from his work. The work becomes him and he becomes the work. It his job and it is imperative that give voice to that darkness.
The last paragraph he seems to be gently, with the "I'm not so sure", dropping a secret he has been made privy to. The power of the art is in direct proportion to the weight and the gravity. It's magnificent in it's terror, demands the utmost integrity and truly does transcend time and space above and beyond anything else. He knows. He isn't at all unsure.
Days to think about this response and ends with, “I’m not so sure.” Sounds like he’s sure to me. Does he have Libra? 😂
I think it’s true that good artists are usually a little mad, yes.
@sirena-oceana No Libra. Nothing in his 7th house.
Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo and Virgo.
Oof, I love this writing.
As for the question, does repressed sexuality breed anger or does repressed anger breed simmering sexuality? Or are they a 2-way symbiotic street?
I’ve witnessed both in other people. One had so much rage, I think because he was gay. I wouldn’t have thought about it, but he was extremely homophobic, which stood out for the time and place. He also had very close friendships with men, and it seemed like those were the most satisfying to him in terms of intimacy.
Another struggles with processing emotion and anger and is pretty insatiable in his sexual appetites. Would the appetite be there if he processed his emotions? I don’t know.
Libra also came to mind, but for different reasons. Both people I mentioned have Mars in Libra, and a Saturn/Venus signature. They aren’t artists per se, but artful, in different ways. And yes. Tortured.
As for the tortured artist, I don’t know. It seems true. Great art seems to arise from a depth of emotion. Are suffering and depth of emotion intrinsically linked? Is art not itself an attempt to relieve that pressure? In the same way as sex? 5th house matters.
There seems to more clarity to this question when I think about sports, such as martial arts when trainers advise the athlete to abstain before their fight, or game, or match.
When I talk to him, I'll ask him about this. He wrote it twenty years ago.
I learned a lot from him at various times... stemming from his extreme experience. My husband, same thing. It was Scott who pointed out, I always chose iconoclastic men, which is true.
Here's a revelation. My ectopic pregnancy? That was Scott's baby. Not meant to be. We both know this, deeply.
This feels very Mars in Scorpio to me; am I wrong? Very, very intense. My husband has that placement and this reminds me a bit of him...
@dolce Scott has Venus conjunct Mars conjunct Pluto in his first. He also have Mercury conjunct Uranus in Leo, also in his first...
@elsa oh wow. Ok that explains it!
I am just catching up on some Scott stories here. I remember his name from ages ago.
The point he made about the tortured artist hits home. I know what he means about the well-adjusted artist, but the tortured artist is the one I have a little more interest in, because I find it fascinating how people can use their pain to create. Emotional pressure valves, so to speak.
The lack of release can result in depression, that anger that doesn't come out turns to powerlessness from what I've seen. The Pluto types need a way, art is such a good one. For me it was always sports. If I felt angry or depressed, I knew I needed to go on a run. Actually doing that was something else, sometimes I did and sometimes not but if I don't move I sink. I would prefer it be art. In any case, I understand the pressure valve thing.
On the topic of a possible symbiotic relationship between repressed anger and frustrated sexuality - I think absolutely yes, although I'm not an expert. It seems like it must be the case. Emotions are so physical (at least they are to me, with all my emoting), anger is SO potent. It comes out in a potent way.
So interesting to think about all of this. My husband has Scorpio Mars and there is always some simmering under the surface for him, he has to actively manage it. Not to mention he has a Pluto transit to that Mars placement coming up soon.
@dolce my son has a Scorpio mars, I know what you're talking about. Satori has one as well - don't want either of these folks as an enemy.
Scott is VERY interesting and also crazy, which he would tell you himself. "Crazy genius or crazy Genie-ass, if you ask his grandmother."
But he has been stable for a number of years... decades. Paying the price for whatever that costs him. I will see if I can find an old, very cool piece or writing from xanga days... I think it's what got me my editor, actually. One sec
@elsa I'd love to read it!
Very funny quote, haha. I'm glad when people can have a sense of humor about themselves. Otherwise what are we going to do? Might as well laugh if we can.
What an amazing story! Imagine if that man is still alive and somehow stumbles upon this. Wouldn't it be incredible to hear from him?!
@elsa can I ask what you mean by "paying the price for whatever that costs him"? I interpreted it one way, but I'm not sure I'm correct - his stability is at a cost? He's lost something in gaining stability?
@dolce yes. If you are crazy and have to take meds to function, it costs you big time.