Yes, I also stopped showing that it bothered me, but it really did stop bothering me after a while. It was like, I have choice- I can try to fight it or just let it go. I chose to let it go and it just stopped happening. My cardinal planets are in H9 which is a mutable house, so I do have more freedom than him in a way. I can surrender control easier than him. Through sticking with it, we have both grown a lot over the years. A lot of the so called karma has dissipated. You remember the issues with his mom. Those have vanished also. 

 I also figured how not to push him into silent treatment mode. I guess I'm more clever about how to create more win-wins with our crazy cardinal planets. I don't push too hard with my Aries anymore. We have both grown, see.

This would be a dealbreaker for me. I consider it to be psychological abuse. I dont stay with any kind of abuse- life is too short, and no relationship is worth it to me, especially with someone who likes watching me squirm. I know everyone has their own tolerance levels for something like this. Mine is as low as it can go. 

Thats how I feel- it is a turn off. Its not my currency at all. 

My husband does this, too, although he used to do it more frequently in past years. I never knew the reason. Sometimes it would last a week, sometimes 2-3. At most he would mumble at me and it seemed he would just “check out”. It would have been easier if he was just physically gone.

I used to be so hurt by it. And afraid. And I would tiptoe around, believing everything was my fault, I caused [what the fuck ever]. I never begged or pleaded with him because that would get me nothing. 

I would rebel in small or secret ways because fuck that shit. 

It’s taken years. He rarely does it anymore. (I am still not sure of the reasons but it seemed to be less frequent after his last job in 2015. But still: I am not fucking responsible for whatever twat did or didn’t do to you at work.) But during that time I learned to fake not caring if he was in a snit. I would bolster myself up and self-talk my mind into saying, it is not my fault and I am not responsible for whatever it is. It didn’t always work at first and it’s still a terribly unsettling feeling, but I no longer pussyfoot around and I no longer care as much.

This was just one of the bullshit things he would do when he was mad/depressed/whatever. I know it was a learned behavior because his mother told me that his father would do it, too. Like, it was just fucking normal. Well fuck that shit.

My husband has Cancer sun and Mercury in 8H, which no doubt is some serious shit. He also has a Libra moon (not square his Cancer signs), so there could be a lot of high, pretty expectations that don’t feel met.

Oh well. Put on the big boy panties and deal with it like a man ??‍♀️

Yeah, my Cap Merc is fun like that.

I can see staying quiet when you’re so pissed. I do that, too, but it doesn’t last long...a few minutes as I try to collect my thoughts. Because I, too, am afraid I will say something that would burn a bridge. But I do try to state that I am furious and need to take a break atm.

My mother has sun and Mercury in Aries. She’d start yelling or lecturing me and I’d zip my mouth because I was a torrent of emotions. She hated that. She couldn’t stand when I wouldn’t fight back! 

Now I understand and when we’ve had disagreements, I know I can debate her or talk to her, and she is very receptive to giving or receiving and apology or explanation. Aries are cool like that ?