Chaos in my house between my husband and my mother in-law ( we take care of her/she lives with us) I focused on what I love to do best at home; in the kitchen cooking. I made homemade yogurt, zucchini bread, stewed tomatoes from the garden to freeze/can and made sausage broccoli rabe with orecchiette for dinner.
after things settled down and everyone went to bed early, I had a lovely cup of chamomile tea and spent time with the cat.
The full moon surely howled yet I kept my composure. Hoping I get the hang of the non-reaction.
@elsa I want to be able to tell myself that the moment I became aware, I made the right choices. I was on the right side; or at least aligning myself to sight.
@bar-in-the-sky well it takes discipline as we're bombarded with seductive messaging. Your effort and success bolster my efforts improving my chances of success. I thank you for it
@elsa well if I knew I could do this for other people, I may have started out much earlier in life 😂.
I feel like I’m changing so much on the inside yet my environment is not moving a millimeter. I can also feel the pressure of the changes I am making trying to undo themselves.
The frustration simmers to a slow boil.
@bar-in-the-sky I don't know if this will help, but one thing I try to do in such circumstances is to practice being less attached to my environment, to keep drawing the focus back to my own sense of reality.
My husband is also prone to moodiness and at times it was worse. This coincided with transit Pluto on my Venus and Mercury (he has a 25° Cancer sun). It was awful. Sometimes not even talking to me for weeks. I really let his emotions rule mine and rather than outwardly fight him, I would try to be more invisible. It took years for me not to feel like tiptoeing everywhere. Sometimes I would laugh when I was alone because ffs the stuff that would set him off… Now he’s rarely like that. I think I know some of his triggers and that stuff is coming from some place else. Like…dude…So I just act no different (unless it’s something legitimately a crisis), my mood doesn’t change, and then it’s gone.
My part in this is probably my first house moon with Pluto and someone important in my life being disappointed in me makes me super ultra sensitive (I have default “It’s always my fault even if I just exist”). Or maybe Saturn in Pisces opposite AC does that.
AT ANY RATE: this is my responsibility. I think even an aura of fear or walking on eggshells can be perhaps offensive or silently combative because it’s so drippy and weak…like not being a participant in the home. I’m just talking about myself (like, self talk 😊).
@allie120 Allie I am having a Pluto Venus transit too. So gross. My Venus is in the 4th house so it's not exactly my husband that is the problem, but my family was. I too let their emotions rule mine (you remember) and I too just tried to be invisible never speaking back, just taking it to keep the peace. (I cried tho)
Pluto sat at 22 Cap on my Dsc and Saturn was squaring my Venus soon to follow... started in 2020. I have been dealing with this mess in one way or another for 4 years. Pluto in 7th, on the dsc, now Venus, soon Sun. (Saturn in the mix)
I have learned to have a voice. I don't take it anymore. I just won't speak to them if they decide to bring me up on war crimes that make no sense. If they speak loudly, I shut it down. Surprisingly since I stopped allowing it, it has ceased. I don't cry about a lot anymore. And my will becomes stronger as Pluto gets closer to square my sun. By spring next year, I will be in it.
Thanks for sharing this story again, I remember it now. Helps to read it while navigating something similar.
There will be no more bringing me up on war crimes. I volley that nonsense back now. I don't want to... but what can one do? Son asked me if I was his arch nemesis last time he started in. I said, you decide.
@soup 🙏
It’s wild how, when you’re going through it, you just manage, you try, you do whatever. And I didn’t even know about all this at the time. And after you pop out, it makes more sense. It’s crazy.
The few times I did push back on him, it seemed to work and adjust things. But I hate fighting because I am not that adept at it face to face. I feel like I can explode and make things worse. And then I always think (and it’s often true for me) saying less is better. I played a part in it, too.
I’m grateful we can all learn here. Wishing you all the strength and peace.
I live with a Pisces Sun & Venus with an Aqua rising and a Cap moon. Literally the moodiest human on earth, second to me. 5 planet Scorpio stellium in opposition to my moon with a Cancer rising. We are a match made in heaven though. You put one of us in a mood you have to deal with both. lol Here comes the tidal wave!
Worse, after the CV lockdown they sent him home to work remote. And we moved to a place where we only knew each other. Us two locked in a house together like old, retired people who were not of retirement age. My husband is only 54! And he will probably never work in office again... he will be home forever. I couldn't work because I was going back home (for a number of reasons) once a month for almost two years. What a conundrum.
We are 4 years in at this point. We rarely argue. If we do it's over something dumb that means nothing. We did at first though. Now I just say... hey honey, I feel like trash. Ignore anything that sounds weird that comes out of my mouth because I love you, and I won't mean it. He does the same. I put on headphones. Go outside because I live in a forest, and it really helps and since the Uranus transit to my moon I am getting a lot better at detachment.
@soup omg I remember all that. What a nightmare. My God. I’m so glad you’ve found balance because I see you two love each other like crazy.