I think I could be easily blindsided. I'm just incredibly trusting and optimistic.

That one time that I was cheated on (some of you may remember when the girl contacted me on facebook), I did not catch on to anything until he thought I knew (when she sent her message to me and it landed in my spam folder) - which was a little before I actually found the message, but long after the cheating had occurred.

I don't trust any man. I grew up with a father that cheated. I may not know, but if I found out I would be devastated, but then , like soup, I would start to plan his demise...so to speak

kab said
I don't trust any man. I grew up with a father that cheated. I may not know, but if I found out I would be devastated, but then , like soup, I would start to plan his demise...so to speak

Me too kab!

You think I am going to cook your dinners, wash your dirty freaking clothes and know all your idiot habits. See you at your worst when you have the flu or diarrhea..... listen to you sing badly in the shower....shove a whole bag of chips down your throat and take care of the house and see to it that all the bills are paid on time and you are going to fuck some gal at work. Go ahead. See what happens next.

To me its the ultimate insult. If you want to fuck around, leave. Don't do that stuff behind my back. Just go. I will help you load your shit up and carry it out. But don't do that. I am watching for it when you don't think I am. I am watching for any change. The most subtle changes.... little things. And, I wash your clothes. Think I wont notice? I notice everything a man does. I don't announce it, but I notice.

Like you kab..... I don't trust a one of them when there is free P to be had for the taking..... and its there, handed out like jelly beans.....

I watched my grandfather cheat on my dear precious grandmother. My step father cheated on my mother....and she did it too. I have watched my friends get screwed over and thought it would never happen to me. It sure did! And, it could again.

Agree. Whether or not I want to ADMIT to myself I know, I know.

I've always had a sixth-sense for this. Something just becomes off. I get more anxious about the relationship and become worried, even if I don't want to admit truly why. I convince myself niggling little things that point it out are all in my head. I start having dreams about it and tell myself my sub-conscious is fucked up. I beat myself up for being jealous and stupid and convince myself that I'm being "that girl" that no man likes, the suspicious one.

Then I find out it was the truth. The veil drops.  I knew all along, and I wasn't being stupid, I was suppressing it.

Maybe it's because I'm a Sun and Venus in Pisces in the 8th, but I always know.

Both answers are correct. How so? Love is blind. I saw the good in my partner of 16 years. I had no reason to distrust him as he never as much as winked an eye at any woman. So I never checked his phone or whatever. Next to that I think I am pretty hot stuff: there was no way that he could do better and I still think that. Next to that: I am not the jealous kind. If he had wanted to talk with women on the internet I would not have worried, as long as I am still lady of the house.

Even so in the last years a voice from the unconscious came up time after time telling me: ''Cancerian has been naughty. He deserves to be punished.'' I did not understand what it meant. Was I slowly turning into my mother? Was I going mad? Seeing things that weren't there? I decided to silence the voice and rationalise it away. After we split he told me that he, prone to,  addictions as he is, had frequented the red light district for the last 8 years. My partner had been a sex addict and I had not even known it. If I had checked his Phone or internet I would have found nothing. There had just been this unconscious voice, the one I chose to silence. 

I told the story of the horny brother-in-law who had a crush on me and wanted to have an affair with me.  (I said no.)

I always knew he was a flirt, but it came to light that he had possible girlfriends stashed away when he went on business trips.

Now, his wife is a double Cancer.  12H Gemini Sun, but Cancer rising, Moon and Venus (last two conjunct).  There was no way this woman didn't know what was going on.  It turned out she did all along, but couldn't believe it was happening to her, so she buried her head in the sand.

(25 years earlier, my horny Scorpio FIL - Sun/Mars conjunct - wanted to run off with HIS then-SIL, and SHE said no.  A big war erupted, so it's very understandable that double Cancer SIL was shell shocked.  It was happening all over again, starring HER husband, and opening old wounds.)

With this kind of history, I don't expect the fracture (I've want to talk it out for going on eight years, but she runs away) to ever heal. I was her only concrete evidence, even though there was no sex.  There were others, all shadows.  I have no idea if or how they reconciled all of that mess.  Who knows what the arrangement is.  Maybe he still has little chickies on the side.  It doesn't make sense to me, but then again, it doesn't have to.