Hey guys, I was hoping for some input regarding being in an 8th house relationship. Given my dating history, I've always been the girl with a boyfriend, and now I am in a relationship that feels markedly different from all the others. I love him intensely and actively -- it's not passive, my feelings for him (We have a composite stellium with a Scorpio 8th house sun, Saturn, Mercury and Pluto). And it just seems to be going deeper and deeper. We have conversations about all kinds of things, but it feels like we're bonded when we talk about our feelings about this or that. We also spend an inordinate amount of time talking about exes, for some reason -- I think we've both just always been the person with a dating partner, and now we've met up with each other and he has a far crazier and occasionally violent dating past than I do (he has moon trine Pluto).
I want to know what it was like when you found the person you got married to. Did it feel different? I want to get married and I want to know from the married people how you "knew".
My last relationship had a 6th house sun and that really sucked. There was an inherent imbalance that grew into terrible resentment for both of us (I mean, I was a Leo and he was an Aquarius. Neither of those signs are particularly enthused about being subordinate).
Then before that I had a 1st house composite sun with a guy and I really grew a lot from that relationship, but I would characterize it in many ways as "puppy love." We were definitely a golden couple -- people noticed us and we "put on a show" for them. I was extremely young though -- and so was he.None of my exes hate me though. I feel very lucky in that respect. I don't hate any of them either.
My husband and I have an 8th house composite Sun conjunct Venus. Both bodies are involved in a T-square that include the Moon and Saturn.
Our bond is serious, deep. We're committed and we're loyal. However it is excruciatingly hard...with reward.
We're just not getting out and there is a lot of good in that. But I'm not sure someone would choose this.
My love and I have a blank eighth, lots of activety in the 2nd, Taurus on the 8th tho.Hmm maybe a blank 8th is a sign...lol.
Elsa said
We're just not getting out and there is a lot of good in that. But I'm not sure someone would choose this.
I think this is really interesting because so far I really like it, though I agree with you -- it isn't easy, but it feels -- constructive, not destructive. I have an innate love for authentic expression and I feel as though the two of us are trying to make amends for our past follies. What I mean is, as people who've been in one partnership or another more or less constantly, there is a drive now to get to the essence, to our own core selves, and somehow being with each other is helping that. It feels almost like cause correction: this is where I would have been if I hadn't been derailed by a bad relationship and my desire to please the wrong person.
Does that make sense to anyone?
Good time for a bump.
Composite/Synastry charts: https://elsaelsa.com/forum/relationships/curious-about-synastry-composite/
I have a deep friendship evolving.
Her and I have a Composite Sun conjunct Mercury in 8th house Pisces. Venus in 7th Aquarius trine Libra Mars (mars conjunct Pluto) . Moon in 9th, late Aries, opposing Saturn, Pluto, and Mars.
I should add she has Moon opp Pluto and Saturn natally, I have Moon opp Pluto & Mars natally.
We are mentally aroused individuals, so this partnership works at times in immense fashion. Going deep into topics and ourselves, spiritual nakedness, although she has trepidation at times because she is still peeling back layers and being vulnerable about it, as many of us are.
Her and I had dreams of each other as soon as we met, which we spoke about as we continued to hang out, although she hasn't told me the full dream, which is odd (manipulative or what?).
The energy between us is different than anything I've experienced before. Palpable. We can read each other without speaking. Our ASC is Leo, so it's always fun when out in public.
We initially were to be friends, but then our older and more visceral habits emerged almost subconsciously for about 2 months but we reneged and decided friends is best for now, especially with our personal shit coupled with worldly shit occurring (although that same reason could unite us again.)
It seems us being a couple is dependent on personal maturity, something we both are in the middle of. I like the fact that we are both aware enough to admit this stuff.
It feels really fucking good to grow and be aware of it.