Dear Elsa,
I am consistently having “crushes”… that eventually fade out & leave the other person hurt. I have been in many long term relationships but they go sour because I feel as though my needs are not being met and I get bored.
If you can’t tell, right now I’m in one of those “stuck” relationships– he is IN love with me, I just love him. We’ve been together 2 years… we keep trying to work things out… ugh.
I’d like to know if I am simply broken… relationship-dysfunctional… or have I just not met the right person? Is there such thing as the “right person” for me?
Bored In Love
United States
Dear Love,
I would not call you “dysfunctional” in relationships and I would hope you would not tag yourself in that way either – because it’s a judgment and a negative one. It sounds to me like you’re functioning just fine. You just happen to be a person who gets bored in relationships and you have lots of company on that front. Lots of people struggle in similar and same fashion – so how can it be dysfunctional when this is as common as having brown hair?
So you’re not dysfunctional but you do have a problem: you have a stellium in Libra (which wants to be partnered)… but you also have Uranus ruling the 7th house, which detaches and wants to be liberated from relationship. And this is what you are acting out, and why you are having this same experience over and over again.
So to answer your question: no, there is no “right one” who will disappear this conflict for you but you can find a way to live with it. That is, you can own and accept the fact you do want to be partnered, but also own and accept the fact you need an inordinate amount of space and freedom in relationship. And this has nothing to do with the qualities of whoever it is you are involved in.
It may sound daunting but the fact is that there are legions of people out there feel exactly the same way. And if you can get yourself conscious about this (know yourself) and find someone who has some consciousness about themselves, you can be just fine having a partner that does not restrict you and being a partner who does not restrict…
But dysfunctional? No. In reality, you are firing on all cylinders so just get to know your cylinders. Look under the hood, you know?
Good luck.