41 Year Old Single Mother, Aries Hottie And Her Sagittarian Man

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Hi, Elsa. I am a divorced (as of four years) single mom of one eight-year-old girl. I’ve been dating a Sagittarius (Moon and ascendant in Cancer) for about a year and a half. We’ve had our ups and downs over the past six months, mostly due to my anxiety that this relationship isn’t headed anywhere, and I’m wondering how much more time I can afford to invest in this relationship.

I love the guy, but he’s so scattered when it comes to what he’s going to do with his life. He is facing a layoff from work, and his fantasies are running the gamut from law school to writing a screenplay to opening a record store to running for governor.

I’m all for having dreams, but I can’t get behind his if he can’t come up with one he actually wants to focus on and commit to.

Likewise, I can’t get behind this relationship if it isn’t clear that he is willing to arrange his life to accommodate a partner. I’m coming up on 41, and while I’m pretty hot for my age, I am a depreciating asset in the dating marketplace. Should I cut my losses with the watery Sadge and seek a stable relationship elsewhere, or is this relationship worth sticking it out for the long haul? We love and respect and have the ultimate hots for each other, but at this point in my life, I’m unwilling to sacrifice sound infrastructure.

Thank you so much for your help,

Single Mother
United States

Dear Mother,

I hate to say it but I think you are up a creek. It is obvious from your post you place high value on your hotness and your sex. With your Sun in Aries and ruler Mars in Scorpio, this is confirmed in your chart so there is nothing you are going to be able to do about that.

Now you have a Libra Moon so a strong desire to be partnered and with the Sun and Moon in Cardinal signs you also want control. Saturn’s in there so that goes double.. er… triple.

Jupiter in Cancer (more control) wants a family and security however that Aries Sun of yours likes the thrill of the chase the Sagittarius provides. If you get him to commit… submit and conform to what you want, what do you think will happen to the sex you are having? Think it would change?

You also have an Aquarius rising which wants no man issuing orders and a seventh house Uranus confirms this and I hope you are getting an idea here. You are a bundle of conflicting drive and desires so what are you going to do?

If you dump the Sadge and get a more docile man, will you like him, or kill him? Good question I think.

I don’t know what you are going to do but I would try real hard to get over the fact you are 41. Women who are hot are 41 are hot at 51 and even 61 if they still give a damn to be, past menopause. Don’t let your fears drive your decisions.

Secondly get conscious of your own need for challenge and freedom because if you dump this guy denying these things, ooh baby, the boredom.

I am not meaning to plead his case. I am just saying you may be more like him than you care to admit.

Good luck.

4 thoughts on “41 Year Old Single Mother, Aries Hottie And Her Sagittarian Man”

  1. Goodness this resonates with me..my partner a sag, cancer moon, also full of dreams that never transpire. Trouble is i’m the same so cant really talk too much. I guess I’ve always been quite happy to drift and its nice to have someone to do that with. I mean, you have love, respect and the ultimate hots for each other..what more do you need? He may not be Mr GoGetter but he makes you happy so why not ride on that for a while longer and if it doesnt work out, like Elsa says you can still be a hottie at 51, 61 whatever. Its never too late imo (i love seeing stories of old people getting it on in their 70’s!).

    Maybe though its about security, newly (ish) divorced, child to support, body starting to head south, yep these things can worry you but to have found someone, albeit a dreamer, who you get off on and gets off on you well thats more than many get. So he may not end up running for president..but does he make you and your daughter happy? And as for will he run off? In my experience cancer moons stick like glue (even saggie sun ones) so even though he may give the impression of being about to bolt, i wouldnt bet on it and uranus in 7th probably likes the uncertainty anyway. If you need a more focused man in your life however then maybe it’s time to call a halt before you get in any deeper. Good luck!

  2. Touch©, Elsa, talk about nail on the head… While I was looking for a magic 8-ball yes/no kind of answer, your approach is going to be much more helpful in figuring this out. I have long suspected that I AM IN FACT the commitment phobe here. Thank you so much for the insights.

    And you know what? Your answer did me more good than the three months I spent with a therapist over this issue… she was pretty much a yes-person, very supportive, validated everything that came out of my mouth, and I walked away with zero growth and probably an unjustifiably inflated opinion of myself. Now I have something to chew on. Thank you so much, Elsa.

    And Z, thanks for your insight about the Sag/Cancer combo. Yeah, I am pretty lucky, now that you mention it. I can be such an ass. Good luck to you, too.

  3. Hey, Elsa… so I’m looking up the archived posts under the mars-in-scorpio tag, and I notice that your 8-year-old Taurus boy has Mars in Scorpio and Sun conjunct Saturn, just like my 8-year-old Taurus daughter (and me! Cool how these things run in families). Was he born around 4/26/99? And if so, how cool would it be that the woman who gave the insight that just might change my life has a child who shares his astrological config with my child?

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