Tonight my husband made a comment that intrigued me. He said he suffered no emotional damage in his various relationships with women. He specified there were only three women/girls who had an impact on his being.
The little Plaintain selling girl, a woman he was involved with briefly when he was young (regret) and he said he pined over me but he also said I did no emotional damage. He said if I had been cruel or had no conscience (when we were young) there probably would have been damage but I wasn’t.
I thought this was remarkable because I very readily suffer emotional damage. I would say it has been common in my life and it has been severe.
However I am freakishly transcendent so I have been able to slip out from the noose again and again and again in ways that astound the onlooker. It’s just very easy for me to see everything as irrelevant all the time and in includes my pain. But I sure was interested in his phenomena so I asked him why he thought I was prone to experiencing emotional damage because I don’t wind up with it in the end.
The criteria here is his experience in his prior relationships did not damage him in anyway that would impact his relationship with me. I can say the same, the difference being I have been blown to bits (far) more times than I can count. He came up with a theory (hooray) but here’s the question:
Are you prone to suffering emotional damage or not so much? Where is your Moon?
I do suffer emotional damage and I carry scars from some of my past relationships. I have transcended a lot of it but not all.
12th house Scorpio moon.
I’m not surprised Lupa responded! We need a 12th-house moon support group maybe….
I am the same, the emotional damage I suffer seems to be traumatic to the extreme and when it is happening, I can’t understand how other people survive similar experiences and remain upright. “Blown to bits” is a good metaphor. I have much-aspected Neptune, but my experience is not that the pain eventually feels irrelevant, it’s that I switch to bliss and get distracted (hello, Gemini?)
12th house Gemini moon, opposite Neptune.
Yeah. Some time ago I came up with a philosophy to help me deal with it.
Essentially I open up dialogue with myself, the goal being to accept *in due course* that I’m changed because of the nature of injury.
I was lucky enough to get therapy at a very young age; I was unlucky insofar that I was treated like dogshit because I sought it in the first place.
I’m far more hurt by familial damage than by any other kind.
1st House Capricorn Moon; in a T-square with Pluto in my 10th and Venus/Mars conjunction in my 4th.
(with my Dad: his moon conjunct my Sun. His Mercury opposes my Sun. My North Node opposes his South Node. His Sun conjunct my North Node. His Chiron conjunct my Chiron/Mercury.
with my Mum: her Sun conjunct my Venus/Mars. Her Saturn conjunct my Mercury/Chiron. Her Moon opposes my Saturn. Her North Node conjunct my North Node.)
Post fell in the spam filter? 🙁 Darn it, this one hits home with me…
🙂
I guess one would have to determine what “emotional damage” is! In reference to the word “damage” it would appear to have more severe repercussions with regard to relationships ending. It could be grief, scare – abandonment, physical and emotional symptoms such as anxiety, depression or anger. The feeling of hurt is really anger turned inwards.
There is always an element of grief involved when longer term relationships end. That is 12 – 24 months. It is a normal human experience to have feelings when our attachments end.
k
yes.
in the sixth, in aquarius (uh, ok…)
i always figured it was my saturn. or maybe neptune square ascendant…
Moon in Gemini 2nd House
Hmmm this is a hard question. At the time that I am being damaged, yes, it hurts a lot. But I have an ability to detach right afterwards. That’s why I think that I am good at forgiving… I forget how bad it felt.
Yes, I’m very prone to being emotionally damaged and I’m realizing that I haven’t worked through it as well as I thought I had. Not surprisingly, this started in childhood and continues through the present.
But, on the plus side, it helps me be more empathic and recognize when others are emotionally damaged and to help in some way(s).
Moon in Aquarius, trine Mars-Venus-Pluto in Libra, square Uranus.
I’ve felt deep pain but no emotional damage at all, because I know that pain is part of our life and it’s transient, it doesn’t define me. Moon in Sagittarius, 11th house.
SaD your sentence about “not as well as I thought” strikes a nerve with me. I think we’re roughly the same age (I turn 32 in May), so maybe I can ask you this: do you notice patterns of growth/acceptance/grief?
I ask because I was in one place emotionally when I was 14; another when I was in my early 20s…by the time I was 28 I was more confident.
But…I’m sliding a bit backwards lately. I dunno, maybe you can help me see something in this? Maybe it’s not backwards at all, but, facked if I know! Sideways, Cancer like? (LOL, I have zero contacts/placements of Cancer btw)
Wow, lots of moons in Aquarius! Not meaning to be insensitive here (and this is due to what I learned about astrology in my past), but isn’t Aquarius one of the “less emotional” houses? Sorry if I sounded insensitive/blunt!
As for myself – a lot of past emotions have left heavy imprints in my life – particularly an emotionally difficult childhood (family and school) and all my romantic relationships. Wounds are still very raw and the path to transcendence remains long and challenging.
Moon in Cancer 4th house (go figure!)… Trine, Sextile Venus and Saturn, Squaring Pluto.
Emotional damage. Hmmmm. I was a bully magnet in high school. Whenever I started thinking I was normal, like everyone else, and could be myself, then one or another bully would show up and punch me in the gut as hard as he could. Now THAT was emotional! It’s because I was always such a girl, I suppose, with girls’ sensibilities (Venus in Libra? in fact a stellium in Libra – and the rest is history!) Homosexuals grow up learning to (or anyway, we used to) live double lives. Can’t show what’s really going on.
My older brothers, 4 of them, were also often trying to tell me or teach me how to “be a man,” but at least with them, I never doubted that they loved me anyway. I’ve got this Aries moon, see; someone called it the dauntless moon (was that you, Elsa?) So eventually, and by and by I’ve overcome any self-loathing around my sexual identity.
I’m with Kashmiri, though, most damage comes from the family (especially if you’ve got a big one). I’ve overlaid the charts of my parents and siblings on one another, and it is really mind boggling the many many coincidences and correspondences that show up. Read (I’ve read) Liz Green’s book on family patterns and such. I think it’s called The Astrology of Fate.
wow. yeah a lot of aqua moons. my moon is aqua 2nd house- and no, i don’t suffer emotional damage- i feel pain, shock, sadness- yes, but it does not damage me. i detach immediatly/ and plan/think etc… and this ability has saved me. i don’t mean to sound like an alien,it is a big character flaw of mine, but i don’t have a lot of sympathy for people who bellow about how their families ruined them/ or contributed to why they are screwed up… get over it- the life is yours to make and do…
zero degree libra moon in second house. Not sure what that means but I suffer while in a relationship and am usually releived when its finally over. Maybe its the scorpio freeze or amputation but when i cut it off i feel much better and then am eventually optimistic towards a new romantic adventure (dumb huh?)
I suffered more over memories in childhood of abusive behaviors on the part of my parents mostly my mother. There was physical abuse that caused emotional damage that took a long time to get over. Parents need to be very careful as this can cause all kinds of problems for children’s developement. arrested development.
For sure. Cancer moon/3rd house. I’m always working to transcend, but I’m very emotional.
The moons here seem to be all over the place, so I wonder what is the connection? Anyway, moon 1st house Scorpio, and emotional damage is my middle name. I honestly struggle to look at anything objectively – it is damn near impossible for me.
No. Moon in Virgo/3rd
Hey Elsa,
I’m more prone to emotional damage but somehow I am able to transcend it. Have lots of physical scars but most of them are fading becoming semi-translucent. Moon in 7th house.
Moon and Venus square Saturn- I am always damaged by relationships, period. I take years and years to recover after they go bad and I never “bounce back” enough to treat another relationship as fresh and new. It’s been five years since I last had a boyfriend and I still haven’t had a rebound date- yeah, ’nuff said there. I’m not even hung up on that guy any more, but having a relationship at all scars me terribly. I fear if I give it one more try and it doesn’t work out, I’ll never be able to again. I’m very close to unable to try again as is, but if the last try doesn’t work, forget it, I am done. I have to pick extremely carefully for that last try because I just don’t recover if it ends.
I also have Sun/Chiron on the descendant, though, so I was born broken in relationships in the first place. If I didn’t hate Catholicism I’d be perfect to be a nun, huh?
I’m like the soldier. I am very resilient. There is no emotional damage. I feel deeply. I care deeply. The concept of love ending is very foreign to me. If I care for you, I will always care for you. However, if you are bad for me, I will leave the relationship. Despite the unavoidable pain in life, I have a huge capacity for joy and being happy.
Virgo Moon in my 3rd house
I’m damaged. I’m terrified that if someone picks up on the fact that I like them that they will hack me to pieces. I was publicly massacred by someone because I had a crush on them.
Fourth House Moon conjunct Pluto/Uranus opposite Chiron conjunct Saturn
Cappy Moon squaring my Aries Stellium. Not a lot of damage b/c it’s so hard to open me up. But when it happens it’s terrible.
Been there, Tam. I’d rather shoot myself then tell a guy I like him if he hasn’t been obvious about liking me beforehand.
i’ve found with my aquarius moon that i can detach enough to keep going when i need to… but if i don’t go back and deal with things eventually they really come back to haunt me… i end up floating on a skin of ice over a deep deep well that’s gone rotten… and become more and more detached from feeling anything at all. i go numb, and it’s horribly frightening. reminds me of the hans christian anderson story, the ice queen…
“It’s just very easy for me to see everything as irrelevant all the time and in includes my pain.”
Yeah, I do this too. I sort of “close the account” for whatever is giving me pain and at that point it becomes irrelevant to me. Everything in my life is in separate accounts so I can close one w/o affecting everything else.
Jennifer’s comment certainly rings a bell. I have Capricorn moon square saturn and venus opp. saturn too. It’s extremely hard for me to open to anything enough to connect in the first place, and then if it hurts me I cannot let it go. Each experience leaves a permanent mark, so I try and minimize and compartmentalize each scar as much as possible. I’m very careful about picking anything that can affect me. It must pass many, many tests before it gets a foot in the door. Not that this is fun, it’s frustrating and I miss out on a lot of great things, but it’s better than unrelenting pain 🙁
Satori, I’ve developed a kind of immunity to bullies, I suppose. It’s called financial independence. (born of “frugality,” my middle name.) If your boss is a bully, for example, you simply fire him/her: (much more likely to be a guy, of course, vis a vis another guy). As for girlfriends of mine, I’d like to keep all of them forever.
It’s not all a success story, though, far from it. My life has been “interesting,” to say the least (that is, to me, it’s interesting). Regarding relationships, which seems to be what this thread was all about, I think it’s extremely difficult for a man to hook up long term with another man. (You know how men are!) In hindsight, looking back over 50 or 60 odd years, some of them very mispent, I’m inclined to conclude that a person is much better off staying or sticking with the people one meets from (relatively) early on. My family however, moved around a lot even when I was a young child, so the question of first friends and first lovers is a problematic one for me. I’m a heavy into 8th house person; I think I lost count of lovers by the time I was 25. My chief fault is that I’m so easily bored. And I am conditioned to always move on to the next whatever.
How I do yak on and on; I hope you get to read this.
Elsa – “He came up with a theory (hooray)”
If you don’t mind, what’s this theory?? 🙂
AnaBanana, I will write it out if I get a chance and if it can be done. I have to think it through because I’ve got his privacy to consider.
Of course. Looking forward to it 🙂
i don’t think i would suffer as much emotional damage as i do if my sag moon were not conjunct neptune. i’m up and down, i don’t generally hold onto things near the surface, but i never fully sever the invisible strings that tie me to so many people.
Kash (11), yes, I have noticed that pattern! And we are close in age; I just turned 30 last year. Plus, we both have Mars-Venus-Pluto. So I’m not surprised to see a chord struck. Much of what you write also hits me. *smiles* For me, a lot of the backsliding (and boy is it ever!) comes from something triggering an emotion I didn’t even realize I had or had glossed over. I think my cycle is more related to what wyrdling (28) wrote. Because, MAN, do I ever agree with that! Slap the Aquarian, “Feelings? What’re those?” band-aid on it and forget about it until the smell of putrescence is too strong to ignore.
Which is one of the many, many reasons I recently started going to therapy. 🙂
I suffer from emotional damage a lot. My Moon is on my MC which probably means I show my feelings to the world more than I realize (Virgo moon) and my Mars in the 12th makes me do things that are my undoing which really do more damage than I can comprehend at the time I am doing. But the aftermath is devestating.
With Scorpio moon in the 1st house, I definitely ‘feel’ emotions deeply, but when it threatens to cause ‘damage’, my warrior self shows up and once the dust settles, I sweep up the pieces and move on. done.
I didn’t notice any moon in leo’s. I’m a moon in 9th house leo. I *was* damaged, felt like the spark in me had all but died. But leaving home and being around ppl from all walks of life has made me feel special and appreciated, that there is a place for me in humanity. There is a place for everyone.
Due to other aspects, I’m not immune to despair, but I always manage to find FAITH and HOPE at the end of the tunnel.
Also relationships that have no anger or passion feel dead to me. So I tend to be a drama queen…
Aries moon here in the 4th house. Yes, I have suffered some deep emotional damages. I do transcend but that depends on the kind of damage in question…I have carried certain scars for a long time.
My moon is also trine venus/mars/neptune.