Are Women More Vicious Than Men?

scorned womanMy husband is a man’s man. He’s an alpha male who has spent his entire life working in male dominated professions like the military, machining and trucking.  He’s got a lot of insight into the male psyche.

He once told me he felt all women were vicious. It sparked the post linked below. Coming across it yesterday, I asked him if he thought women were more vicious than men.  Without hesitation, he said they were.

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Mothering instinct?”

Well that made sense. Most any mother will tell you about how she’ll claw your eye out if you get near her babies.

“So like a women gets divorced and goes after the man – wants to destroy him?” I asked. I know he feels this way.

“Yeah, but they’ll do it to their friends too” he said. “They’ll go after their friends like that…” I could easily think of examples of this.

“Men won’t do that?”

“No. Not usually.”

“What if someone messes around with a man’s wife?”

“Well… he might kill you for that. A man reaches a breaking point… he may punch your lights out.”

“But that’s it?”


“What about men who stalk women?”

“Something is wrong with them.”

I can’t disagree with anything he said.  Can you?

Here’s the other post:

What Is A Vicious Woman?

Is it true, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?

18 thoughts on “Are Women More Vicious Than Men?”

  1. I don’t know if it was meant to be funny, but I laughed out loud at this:

    Elsa: “What about men who stalk women?”
    Husband: “Something is wrong with them.”

    1. No, it wasn’t meant to be funny. It was his answer to the question. He does not think a normal man stalks a woman. He sees that as aberrant behavior.

      I can see why it’s funny though. 🙂

  2. With all due respect Elsa, you SHOULD disagree with your husband. You, of all the people, know this to be untrue.
    Men can be and often are far more vicious than the nastiest woman I have ever met in my life.

    Most men think nothing about destroying the underdog in a competition. Often, men feel insecure about someone younger, shinier, more capable stealing their thunder, especially if they are in any way different than themselves. Some men even get jealous of their friends’ successes, their wives’ beauty or children’s successes or opportunities.
    The keywords here are ‘most’, ‘often’, and ‘some’. Kind, vicious, narcissistic, cruel, gentle, helpful and other multiple shades of people are found in all genders. Thats humanity. To hold out a special label for one of the genders, seems to me outdated, untrue and frankly, absolutely unnecessary.

  3. Hi,
    I’m with Curl here. The evidence doesn’t point to women being more vicious than men.
    I felt uneasy reading how women are labelled as vicious like it’s a collective trait whereas men are treated as individuals who have something ‘wrong’ with them when their behaviour is abhorrent.

    Men can gaslight, be emotionally abusive, be physically abusive, manipulative and vicious to other men as well. Only that manipulation is often called ‘strategy’ and so legitimised. But still, I try not to call any group as being inherently ‘vicious’ or ‘abusive’ – there’s no redemption there, no way forward.

    I don’t know about the alpha male thing – there are positives about being straightforward in the world for sure, but not all of us have the privilege of living our lives that way, or can rely on society rules supporting that endeavour – some people’s voices are more equal than others. Maybe that way of being will run its course if it can’t be accessed by everyone who wants and needs it – sadly. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try and be open and fair about what I need, want, think and feel – it takes more effort when you find yourself occupying a secondary position in society.

    I wouldn’t argue against the existence of a particular type of defensive/attacking behaviour in relation to children though – I’ve just seen people enact that in different ways.

    This topic raises many questions.

  4. My old boyfriend and now very dear friend is going to school to be a therapist. He is currently serving an internship at a facility for the criminally insane. He gave me examples of their crimes:

    One man ( in his 20’s, handsome and never abused himself) broke into a home and viciously sexually assaulted a 5 yr. old girl. A woman decided she didn’t want to be a mom anymore and drove her 5 yr. old into a lake before exiting the vehicle to save herself.

    I do not lump male and female into degrees. I think that is a non issue.

  5. My male perspective is that he is correct. I’ve never felt the need to viciously go after someone, even when I’ve had severe disputes with them.

    Something is definitely wrong with men who stalk women. That being said, I also think something is wrong with women (and men) who are “vicious” as anything other than a defensive move. It’s not something I’ve seen very often personally, just heard stories.

  6. As a woman in her early 50’s I think women have become vicious …. I refer to the Pink “pussy-hat women who are so vile due to liberal values… I do believe there is a war on heterosexual males with the BLM Marxist lesbians working to destroy the family nucleus. I also believe that online dating gave women the opportunity to become the aggressor and men became lazy in pursuit…women in general took on overly masculine characteristics and our society has been off balance since.

    My career until five years ago was as a top producer in the legal field …so please don’t respond that I don’t know what it’s like to work in a make dominated culture… I certainly do… but a woman need not be a “businessman in drag” to be successful in that world!

  7. I tend to enjoy the company of men more than I enjoy the company of women, but I can’t say this is because I find them to be vicious. I don’t find women to be particularly vicious, and I don’t find them to be predominantly kind and benevolent either. To clarify: I do think that women and men have different behaviors in general, and I’m okay going with generalizations in this case. We can rationalize greater fear of mother bears with cubs than that of lone male bears, can’t we? Anyway, I expect that your husband’s experience is different than my personal experience – because I’m not a dominant male. I’m a woman. Women are going to approach me differently than they are going to approach him. He’s entitled to his opinion and I have no reason to disagree with him since he’s got an entirely different perspective.

  8. I don’t think all women are vicious, but some are and they are truly vile creatures. What makes them worse than men is they will emotionally destroy their object of hate. A man will punch you in the face and then its over, but he won’t torture you emotionally.

    Someone like Nancy Pelosi personifies vicious. Her own daughter says about her “She’ll cut your head off and you won’t even know you’re bleeding. That’s all you need to know about her.” I don’t know why anyone would think this is something to be proud of.

    Men who stalk have emotional problems and need mental help.

  9. I super hate the gendered posts. I am gender fluid myself and in 2020, its slowly losing its relevancy for the young folks. Statistically men commit way more violent or sexual crimes. They contribute to more domestic violence as well. They are more likely to stalk vs women. I don’t think “theres something wrong with them” is a valid or helpful opinion. Especially after lumping in that ALL women are vicious. With that said, I think women have different ways of showing their aggression. You brought up how you yelled at a girl at 17 out of protection for your boyfriend. Men will straight up get into a brawl over stuff like that. My male friends have just as much drama as my female ones. I think women use their gifts to fight like men might use their strength. Instead of a fist fight, a woman is going to hurt another emotionally because that is what they have to work with and know will hurt more long term. I also think that maybe women feel the need to be vicious in a more male dominated world where their merit, education, experience, etc alone might not get them as far. I think about the nuclear family. As women have gotten more rights and freedom, you see an increase in divorce. Mention in a previous comment that this is ruining families.. or that women are too masculine. I simply think women want to tear down the walls to the boxes they have been put in.

    With that said, just like there are creepy men who stalk, or violent men… I think there are women who are vile and go out of their way to be vicious. I think its a hatred issue for men and women and not a gendered issue. None of this appears to be an astrology issue.. which also really bugs me.

  10. I get that we are in a new paradigm with gender neutral thinking. But there are still people on this planet who fit the traditional roles of man and woman, and I think there always will be. To deny that fact is not helping anyone. I also get that men are more physically violent than women. I don’t think anyone is debating that.

    I think the nuance here is not in the duality of masculine and feminine energy, but in the semantics of the word, “vicious.” My dictionary offers one definition as “deliberately cruel or violent.” That word, “deliberate,” is the distinction that I understand between the cruelty of women versus the violence of men. Male violence is often unconscious. That’s a whole different subject. Women are more deliberate in their cruelty, which I think lends itself to the choice of words here. I’m thinking of the story that soup recently shared on the forum, about what her mom told her for 60 years – that wasn’t explicitly violent, but it was certainly vicious…

    1. Really, his remarks are in line with his experience over the course of his lifetime.

      This is what he’s observed, first hand, rather than an attitude he holds.

  11. Elsa clearly stated this is the experience from an alpha man. What perhaps was unstated is that he’s a “healthy” alpha male not dysfunctional/sociopathic one. There is a difference. Why I found his comments funny (in a good way) is that a healthy man takes one look at a man who stalks and simply but powerfully states “something is wrong with them”. My feeling and experience is that many people have not had encounters let alone can conceptualise a healthy alpha male. They exist and they are glorious to be around (in my personal and professional experience).

  12. There are a few things I wonder about, like if a man has something wrong with him because he is extremely possessive and controlling to the point of stalking, say, maybe a woman has something wrong with her if she tries to destroy a man who’s divorcing her or is consistently cruel to her child.

    Or is she unconscious about her vicious targeting of people in the same way a man can be unconscious of his propensity to violent outbursts or intimidation?

    There’s something about repressed power and how it is released and why that way.

    Anyway, dogs of both sexes can be described as vicious. And how we talk about dogs has to figure in this somewhere, right? 🙂

    Doesn’t everyone have Mars energy and Venus energy in their charts, regardless of gender?

  13. Depends on the woman. Depends on the man. Scorned craziness doesn’t belong to either gender in my experience. Rabies and rabid behavior is not unique to an animal of one gender over the other either.

  14. Men are the “masters of the universe “ and you best believe they manage the sex trade, pedophile rings, wars, genocides, and so forth. They also commit most violent acts. If that’s not vicious, I don’t know what is. I agree with the reader who wrote that women just tend to use what we can (emotional manipulation), since men are naturally, generally physically stronger. There are some hellishly evil women, to be sure, but men are generally more vicious. But I love and enjoy healthy men and generally prefer their pragmatic, straightforward dispositions to that of my own gender. But yeah- no.

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