Yesterday, I spoke with an extrovert who is partnered with an introvert. Their situation was rich and complex, but it’s really made me wonder. Can an extrovert and an introvert work out?
For the purpose of this discussion, let’s look at a simple astrological situation, that’s not uncommon. One partner has all, or nearly all their planets, above the horizon, indicating they want to be seen, out in the world. The other chart is opposite, indicating a person who likes to keep their cards close to their chest.
Can these two thrive together? Balance each other?
Can one stay home while the other goes out and be fine? How about over time?
Do you have personal experience with this? If you are an introvert, would you consider getting involved with an extrovert? How about the reverse?
I am an introvert and have been with my extremely extrovert partner nearly 25 years. The interesting thing is that most of my planets are above the horizon, and most of his, below! I think we complement each other pretty well!
I know a couple like this. She stays home and he goes out for everything, on a daily basis. They’re both happy,
This is sort of a cute imagining scenario. Hope there is a chance it works. I think two people like that can complement eachother nicely. I know for sure one longstanding married pair- a leo sun with virgo moon woman, soo quiet and reserved married to an extrovert, loud, out and about gemini sun man. I have two planets ‘out in the world’, that’s a 10th house pluto and an 8th house jupiter lol. I would not be in my right mind to say no to a funny, witty, loud man just because he’s an extrovert and likes people. Good for him. I would tag along with him outside when my mood is good and maybe will become less prickly myself. 🦔 And when I am tired, back to my bed, my cats and to being a prick. So what. It’s a great deal.
On the complement, I agree. I’m generally an extrovert and while I love being with another extrovert; it’s fine with me to carry the conversation, my partner can make pithy comments, here or there. One can also hide behind the other, which I have also seen.
Literally, one uses the other as a shield. This also works well.
Yes, I thought about it like a team- collaboration. You come where I am weak and vice versa. Not just using and hiding without giving anything back. The introvert must step up and contribute with things where/if the extrovert needs help. If not that would be like a fungus relationship. I went on a date with a cancer man once and man it was Quiet. I had to be the most talkative one of the two, it was a bit out of my comfort at first but as the time passed I learned that I can ambivert* when the situation calls it. There’s always one that can outshy you.
interesting!
I always felt i was an introvert as people can exhaust me and I need my alone time to recharge – Im also married to an introvert but lately the silence/alone time has been triggering me – I want more deep conversation, more excitement, more action…. anything!!
what is going on with me LOL???
Another good point.
My husband and I are both extroverts, but not lately. I’ve got the clustered transiting planets in private houses. He’s caregiving his dying mother. He’s wiped.
Nothing wrong with that at all! We can’t live life in one function, in energy saving mode or in giving our energy to everyone all the time mode. I remember after a very harsh winter and long lonely days I got dressed and got out of the house saying I want to meet and talk to people, so went and did that. That’s not my natural state either, I get drained so fast but too much of everything is bad. Too much of quiet, too much of talking. Nothing wrong with adjusting 🙂
My comment above was for Anastasia.* Sorry to hear about your husband’s mother Elsa. That would take a toll on most people. Where I live people are in that age bracket too and they have to juggle caregiving, grandkids and jobs. And they are expected to suck it up and move along with the rest. That’s not how I see it. They are exhausted.
I think it makes sense. Im a major talker and I can’t imagine dating another major talker… so the balance is good I think.
I’m an introvert married to an extrovert. We each have the vast majority of planets above or below the horizon as you’d expect. We do pretty well. Sometimes I need more alone time than my husband would prefer but he’s mutable and adapted to me in that way, and I make extra effort when he needs to talk or just be out in the world.
He has multitudes of friends; I don’t. I am okay on my own in public, but at social events where I don’t know anyone I am lost without him most of the time. He could go into any situation and make friends, and I joke that he runs into people he knows everywhere he goes, because he does. I think it’s cool and I wish I could be more like that but I am not.
I don’t think I’d be happy with a fellow introvert to be honest. In fact, I think I’d be miserable.
This describes my relationship. I have the planets above, he has them below. Because my luminaries are in the 12th & 8th I do have the flexibility to swing either way (extrovert/introvert).
Prior to meeting my partner, I lived as an extrovert. When I coupled with my introverted partner, I became more like him.
I find our relationship positive/ complementary because we both highlight things to one another which we otherwise individually wouldn’t see.
I am presently working on living a more social/ extroverted life (getting back to my roots). Although I value my peaceful time, people/company bring me great joy.
The 12th house is above the horizon. I wouldn’t think that they would be an extrovert. Elsa, could you explain this? Thank you.
They work in a hospital? They’re therapists. Might work with addiction. Might be psychic…
The are plenty of extroverts who sacrifice. People like me, for example. 🙂
Oh, I understand. Thank you.
Interestingly, there are Many famous people with 12th house suns. I have personally found that it is impossible for me to not be in the public eye, even when desiring to be incognito.
Planets above the horizon almost force you out there.
im a 12th House sun – does this usually mean Introvert? I feel invisible somedays….plus remote working and being alone in an office on my work days has made me feel more so….alone in the World!?
You live in a prison.
being a 12th House sun? or being alone….
12th house sun.
Waaahhhh! im feeling it!
I have a 12th house sun. Its in scorpio though, I tend to be introverted but I have lots of Sag so it depends on my environment. I have to feel “safe” before I let the extrovert side of me to show.
I’m the introvert (yes, an introverted Leo), and my husband of 26+ years (Capricorn) is the extrovert. It works in its own strange way.
His Sun is in the chatty 3rd, so I’m happy to let him talk while I sit quietly and listen. I’m not shy – I’m very reserved, but I have a presence. I’m happy to talk if people want to, but it quickly drains me. That 3H Sun of his comes in handy to keep things going.
Yes – I am the ambivert and he is the introvert. He has a Gemini Moon and a Sag Venus though, so there is plenty of autonomy in the relationship to meet both of our needs. It works for us. 🙂
I tend to be introverted. I navigate to people that are more extroverted. It works for me.