How Can I Find Love After Fifty?

Dear Elsa,

How can I attain the honest, loving, stable relationship that I need and long for?

Getting close to me is tough I know especially after two failed marriages. However I remain hopeful in spite of this. Bar scenes are difficult at best, and I find small talk useless and boring. It make me wonder if there are people left with any depth to them.

What about me do I need to change?

Please help,
Wants To Believe In Love

Dear Believe,

Hell yes, there are people with depth. There are scads of them. Let’s see. How many people are on this planet, anyway – 6.5 billion? Yeah. And a good percentage of them have some depth, I am sure. And further, they want the exact same thing you do. To connect, that is… so what’s the problem?

Well, with Venus in Virgo (perfectionist) in the 11th house, and Neptune conjunct your Sun in Libra, your chart suggests you are looking for some perfect ideal in relationship. And if this is what you’re up to, then disappointment and disillusionment is a given.

I don’t want to piss you off, but I’m going take this apart for you because if someone doesn’t, I don’t know how you’re going to solve this. Hopefully I won’t piss off that Scorpio Moon of yours, but if so I stand ready to duck!

It’s your Venus in Virgo that looks at the entire population and wonders if it’s flawed. You know… no one has any depth, damnit! Peons!

And then you say you’re hard to get near. Well come on. Why is that? If you want to connect, then open up! If you have trouble opening up, whose fault is that?

And what about the bars? Quit going to them! You’re in your fifties! Hit the online personals, like everyone else.

And small talk? If you don’t like it, don’t participate. You’re wasting your time when you do! And Virgo hates that! It’s inefficient! Getting the picture here? I haven’t made small talk since I was eight years old. These things are within your control!

I think it will help if knock of the self-pity. And forgive yourself for the failed marriages. Most people have one (or more) by the time they hit fifty. Should you punish yourself because you’re in the majority? That makes no sense.

You also mention, ‘lasting”. Well if I was looking at this chart and you were twenty years old and telling me you wanted a “lasting relationship”, I would think “good luck with that…” right before I snorted. You don’t have that kind of chart! But now?

Well now you’re old enough, perhaps mature enough you can accept not just your own foibles, but your partner’s flaws as well. And Virgo, Leonard Cohen says it best:

“There’s a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in…”

Think about that, then get out there with a revamped attitude and I bet you’ll find the man.

Good luck.

Also see my Master Class – Finding Love With Astrology

And for Saturn Specific Problems, try this: How To Find Your True Love And Soulmate.