Last night the soldier was cruising YouTube the way he likes and the conversation reminded me of this hotel I lived in shortly after I got myself un-homeless and about a year or so before I met him. The hotel is a landmark in the city where we met, I’d never mentioned it so I brought it up.
I didn’t get two sentences out before he interrupted me. I think it’s rude considering I have Libra, however I do like to study him so I let it go.
I let it go until he got off YouTube and started to talk about his life. I sat listening to him tell me various stories for about an hour and a half at which point I decided (Libra) that was enough and I ought to interrupt him (Mars Mercury conjunct).
“Stop,” I said. “Do you realize I was going to tell you a story about that hotel and you interrupted me?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“Well how come? How come I can’t say two sentences but you can go on for an hour and a half?”
“I didn’t want to hear that story,” he said. “But let me tell you why I didn’t want to hear it…”
He went on to tell me how my stories upset him enormously.
“I have to be able to pace after I hear about your life. I just just got to be able to get out and walk around so I can deal with it.”
I was shocked. Remember when he read my book? Some of you do and last night he told me disrupted his sleep for months.
“Months? You didn’t tell me that. You said it bothered you some.”
“P, I didn’t sleep good for six months over that thing.”
“Oh, okay. I didn’t know that. So that’s why you interrupted me. I thought I was just boring or that you could care less about me and just wanted to talk about yourself. But sure, I understand this…”
So first a stellium in Scorpio goes down and now a career Special Forces soldier. This is mind-boggling to me. I think I am normal and finding out otherwise is just… well it’s disturbing for sure but it is also disorienting. Where the hell are the lines anyway (Saturn Neptune)
And for all you people told me I was overreacting and my book wouldn’t bother him? This is your update on that. ::shakes head:: I knew he was going to flip his lid but what a container, eh? He’s not said a thing for 6 months or more.
Are you a good container?
Well, you tell some pretty viscereal stories.
I’ve had to go walk around after some.
I’m probably not a good container though. Sometimes I am, but mostly I just blather. Saturn cnj jupiter square my sun cnj mercury, I give restrictred information or I give Way Too Much.
A lot of what you’ve written has impacted my life quite strongly, but I haven’t found very much of it disturbing. This is something I’ve learned about myself though… I’m good at absorbing/processing intensity and things that would disturb most people. Stellium in the 12th with a trine from Pluto really helps me out with that I think. It’s a good thing too, cause I sure seem to attract a lot of people carrying around a big chunk of darkness inside, and they almost always wind up talking through a lot of it with me. It’s draining enough I wouldn’t want to have to do it on a day to day basis, but when it’s people I care about I think I can do a lot of good just by helping them process things they don’t want to take out and look at by themselves.
I contain everything. I keep it in and days like today…I am driven to saying things that I didn’t ever think I would have the ability to stand up and say.
I can say, without a moments hesitation that Id be fine (reading your book). Sure Id feel it.. I feel everything so just another day in the life.
Yes.. huge container & given the situation in which I live, I have to be. There are things Im still waiting to discuss with my husband that happened YEARS ago. Hes not ready.
I think I’m usually a good container for other people’s “stuff.” I’m learning how to be a better one as I age, which is fitting, I suppose.
I’m a really good container for my own “stuff” and always have been. Generally speaking, I’d much rather get it out by writing it down in my journal than by ever telling anybody else about it.
i think so. i’ve done suicide intervention and worked in mental health for several years. that seems like a large part of it.
I’m not sure if I’m a good container or not (having trouble with the terminology here), but I can certainly absorb a lot of someone else’s pain before I have to call “Enough!” It’s never been because I can’t deal with their stuff anymore, usually it’s because they’re wallowing and I’m tired of hearing it. *laughs* Spill it, fix it, go on. Don’t wallow, dammit! 😉
Long-running, ever-evolving crises are, of course, something different. I don’t think I’ve ever bailed before the end in that situation.