Feeling Repulsive Redux… The Collective View Of Your Circle Of Friends

special forces patchDeirdre writes regarding my feeling repulsive and wanting to be with a killer and all that jazz…

“I see what you mean. Sure. Well, I am not in love with the soldier, so in my life, I am not thinking about wanting to be with a killer and that may simplify my life because I think it is taboo to want to marry a killer. It’s not really “in” at least in my circles…” (read the whole comment, she is not attacking me)

Deirdre – this is a perfect example of the challenges I face in trying to communicate. Being attracted to what is taboo does not even enter into my equation when I think about this. What is most appealing about Special Forces training… what I admire the most is the soldier’s focus. He’s got a task / he is on a mission and there is no stopping him. Highly trained, he does not become hysterical or distracted from what he is trying to do and being exposed to this has been enormously instructive and helpful.

It is no different that hanging around anyone who is really, super, spectacularly good at something. You can’t help but absorb their energy; at least if you are me this is true. Some people may be able to stand next to genius and remain stupid, I don’t know. But you get the idea. It is necessarily the violence that is attractive.

And I don’t even see it that way anyhow. I did or I would have seen it that way before spending all this time becoming educated but at this point I am just astounded at what he has done. The sheer bravery, I mean. These people… green berets, really do go do what can’t be done and they do it as a matter of routine. So if you are fortunate to be able to hang out with someone like this you are going to have a hard time not improving your skills on many, many fronts. I am more effective now than I have ever been in my life and he’s the reason.

circle-of-friends.JPGI could go on (and on and on with Jupiter big mouth) but I am just trying to get this one piece across effectively and that is, how you parse this situation may be completely remote from how I view it. For example, I don’t have a circle that has a collective view so I have no way whatsoever to stand in your shoes. Being highly eccentric myself, my circle of friends are similar. They are all very distinct and also very distinct from each other. It’s why I rarely introduce anybody to anybody else. I could never have a party, my friends would shock and offend my other friends left and right because they have nothing in common.

Dinner party at my house? ::smiles:: Not likely. It wouldn’t be a party, it would be a war.

Do you have a circle of friends with a common view? What’s the situation with Uranus / Aquarius / The 11th house in your chart?

16 thoughts on “Feeling Repulsive Redux… The Collective View Of Your Circle Of Friends”

  1. some of the friends (friendly acquaintances) I have are like dipping a toe in a pool. through association with them I have a light ass’n with their group of friends. that is really the only way I socialize. if I were to get my real friends together it wouldn’t be a war but it would be… odd.

    visual: Elsa P., the three (see no evil…) monkeys, a mime, and a very angry person in their underpants.

  2. “It’s why I rarely introduce anybody to anybody else. I could never have a party, my friends would shock and offend my other friends left and right because they have nothing in common.”

    So true. I could never invite all of my friends to the same party–it would be too uncomfortable for them, but mostly for me. No one person knows everything about me and I keep a lot of information from various friends that I may have shared with others. The notion of having a group of people together comparing notes on me–yikes! And, some people know me as a quiet bookworm and serious career type while others know me as the life of the party and a dancing machine. My friends are also very different from each other–I have “normal” friends AND shocking friends with unusual backgrounds, appearances and careers. Uranus late in the 11th house, opposing my Saturn in Aquarius. I have a need for conformity which conflicts with my true nature of preferring the company of weird and wonderful people. But no angry people in underpants. That’s a truly disturbing image, Satori!

  3. This is a little off topic, but I’ve been considering throwing a surprise party for my good friend’s 40th, but I don’t really know many of her other friends and it’s for this reason, that I worry about traumatizing her for her birthday rather than having it be fun/letting her know we love her. So maybe I’ll skip it and do something else instead!

  4. I could never invite all my friends to a party. No way. I would be very uncomfortable. First of all, some of the people I consider friends I haven’t spoken to for years. Don’t know where they are, doesn’t matter, when and if they turn up again the friendship will resume. My friends do not share a common view, probably because they are wildly different in background, age, race, etc.
    My family threw me a surprise party when I was a teenager, and I was mortified because I didn’t know how to mingle among all the different groups of people.
    Uranus in first, Venus in 11th house, Aquarius on 5th house cusp.

  5. Hey Elsa this is “Spearborer” of HA forum…lol…

    Be careful with him…Mars on the ascendant in…Aries…

    He is not a soldier, he is a….well I don’t find an english answer…sorry.

    A…Bush? Do u say Bush in english?
    (lol…I am joking of course…)

  6. Oh my, I couldn’t bring all my friends together, no way. The psychic channeler wouldn’t get the campy gay guy who wouldn’t get the Goth poetess who wouldn’t get the communications professor who wouldn’t get the lesbian ecowarrior who wouldn’t get the shopaholic anesthesiologist.

    Uranus in Virgo in the 7th, empty 11th (Capricorn) and late Aquarius rising.

  7. Focusing on the killing aspect part of the soldier, I thought you were practicing a kind of provocative way of writing. I liked reading today about the soldier’s standards of excellence and how inspiring it is to be around him. That is a turn on if there ever was one.

    As a kid I used to step on spiders but later in life discovered the principal of kindly escorting spiders to the garden without ending their life. When I lived in America I thought Capital Punishment was just normal and fair. Now I live in Germany where everyone even country folk in small towns think Capital Punishment is TABOO! There’s that word! It took me a long time to understand what was going on here, living with Nazi World War II heritage outside my doorstep literally, and how politically the idea of escorting the spider back to the garden and valuing life has become the “in” thing to do.

    I grew up on the East Coast in the sixties and anything military was just a joke. I didn’t know anyone who had a gun and I never saw a gun until I had a Chinese boyfriend at my Saturn Return who had pistols, crossbows and numchucks.

    Even though I never saw many weapons, still the East Coast had high homicide rates, and I always feared walking from my car to my house at night when I lived in Baltimore, Providence and Boston.

    When I arrived in Germany in 1995 part of the blandness I felt in the air was completely less guns in the environment. It is pretty hard to get a gun in Germany and I swear, you can just feel a difference in the air. I walk a lot of places at night here and I feel safe. I bike through the city at 2:00 in the morning and feel normal. It’s a good feeling to have less weapons around.

    So when it comes to killing it feels there is a little piece I am avoiding and that is recognizing that if someone is crazy and after my kid, and Special Forces has gone to lunch, what do I do. Do I escort the spider to the garden? I have Pluto in the 8th, and your comments about the killer and his excellence and not becoming hysterical in the task, I think I get you Elsa, I do. Do you?

  8. “It is no different that hanging around anyone who is really, super, spectacularly good at something. You can’t help but absorb their energy; at least if you are me this is true.”

    Hmm, I don’t know about genius. But I know that I get amused at people who are accomplished in things really different than mine like sports for instance. I tried to mimic (Gemini) someone who is good at sports just for the fun of it. Or at least to pretend I play them. As far as friends, I’ve found I can’t get them together for a different reason. I am a girl without clique. I am friends with various individuals who have a circle of friends I may or may not fit into. I have many acquaintances. I’ve sat with two of my friends at a dinner table and they didn’t feel comfortable with each other. I wondered which I should consider closer/cling to. Some of my friends wouldn’t like each other, I’m pretty sure about that. It isn’t that their “points of view” are different, that Aquarian assembling annoys me, (Aquarian stuff has been annoying me a lot lately) I’m just friends with people that I like.
    This becomes troubling when I need help. I needed to ask a favor, to get two friends together and have them come to New York with me to get student tickets for a Broadway show. I couldn’t think of two people I could ask, two that would go on the van together, who I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking, who would sacrifice for me. This is bad. My best friend was the only one I could ask, and I’ve never asked her a favor this big before. I was so grateful that she came to Broadway for me. Grateful and surprised as though it took our friendship to the next level. The whole affair made me sad. Though, a Gemini, I have acquaintances scattered all around, I am ultimately a lone wolf.

    I have Uranus in Sagittarius in the 11th house and Aquarius rising. I have Neptune in Sagittarius in the 11th and Uranus is pretty heavily aspected. But I make friends with people because I like them, not because I want to assemble weirdos.

  9. well, the people i go out and be social with tend to tolerate each other’s presence most of the time. but there’s a healthy respect for varying perspectives….

    i wouldn’t have to worry about a war, no. but maybe i haven’t spread my net wide enough yet 😉

  10. I don’t have parties..in fact I don’t have people to my house very often at all, I’m very private about my home.
    My friends are very different from one another. They all know a lot about each other and routinely ask after each other…which I find very touching as it is like asking after one’s family.

    Uranus MC opposed Sun

  11. I have Neptune and Jupiter in the 11th. Pluto is transiting my 11th house.

    I have never had that many friends to begin with and they have all dropped off the face of the planet through disagreements and/or … simply dropping off the face of the planet. I have one person I hang out with, and I’m living with him.

    We hang out with his friends and while both of us wish I had more friends to hang out with I have not been able to find any new (close) ones. And I take friendship pretty seriously … I would love to meet somebody on my level.

  12. I had a party when I was about 20 years old and my parents went out of town. Five people came (and two left early), because I was so paranoid about inviting too many people who would clash.

    I was young and dumb, so I did it again a couple years later and invited anyone and everyone. As dumb luck goes, there were no fights and everyone had an amazing time. The wild thing was that there were lawyers, investment bankers, welders and bookies all laughing and playing drinking games.

    I think this had something to do with my ability to bring people together.

    My circle of friends is all over the place!

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