Finding Love vs Keeping It

Venus, Cupid and MarsGetting into a relationship is easy for some people. Staying in a relationship is an entirely different situation. In fact, the easier it is for someone to find a lover, the less likely they are to keep them. This is because the first time something goes sideways, they know they can get back out and reel in another.

People aren’t fish though.  Eventually most serial monogamists start to wonder if they might be able to stick with someone. Would this be something to try?

If you do stay with a person, eventually you’re going to have a conflict. Further, the conflict might be BIG. Think about the transits we all endure.  Not just the bad ones, but the ones where we become inflated and such. If you’re going to sustain a relationship – any relationship – you’re going to have be patient to some degree. You have to have the maturity to give someone space to work out their problems, which may be real and bad or even really bad.

I think people tend to think the really bad problem can’t happen to them. Like they’re all together and stuff…which is myth, really.

Who can relate?

14 thoughts on “Finding Love vs Keeping It”

  1. I have Saturn conj. Venus in Aries in the 7th House. For the first bit of my life, relationships were so hard to keep. I was very loyal, but I was afraid (Saturn). That fear would bring a “self-fulfilling prophecy” (SATURN) and eventually terminate my relationships. But I’m a bit older now, and it’s 1000 times easier to deal with my current relationship because he’s eliminated fear.

    The health of the 7th House and Venus can really pull relationships down, but it’s all according to that Synastry too. His Mercury trines my Mars; it’s easy for us to talk about things that I get bad about. Things like that.

  2. This post has got my name written all over it! I have dated so many people casually, and never had a serious boyfriend until I was maybe 25 or 26. I’m 29 now, and my most recent relationship was my longest to date: 5 months. We covered a lot of ground in 5 months, as I always do cover a lot of ground in a minimal timeframe. I don’t regret ending any of those situations. I’ve been working really hard at learning how to have a more successful relationships, and learned so much from the ones I’ve been in, while reading here on this blog all along 🙂 I have a feeling it’s on the horizon for me now. Thank you, Elsa for keeping the love advice coming, good and potent.

  3. With Venus in Aries, I can easily make that spark. Venus-Saturn (Venus in 10th house and Cap ruled 7th house) is requiring a lot from me to keep a fire going. Nice Venus aspects to Mars/Gemini and Uranus/Sadge, I am at no loss for interesting and positive learning experiences. I still find it hard to envision someone who would complement me.

  4. I worry about this constantly. I berate myself, ” How will you do this? How will you navigate the spectrum? Just synthesizing yourself is such a hassle!”

  5. I honestly don’t know how, or why my husband (of 44 years) and I have been able to ride out some pretty awful conflicts. Other than we both just “know” that we are supposed to be together. In spite of our surface differences, we have the same belief that we are “it” for each other. We have had the romance….even during the shitty times. The first 30 years were epic in that regard. Now we are more settled, contented. I don’t expect him to change at all, he has learned to live with or ignore my creative chaos. I am glad we made it through the swamp….

  6. Can totally relate to this. Spot on. My love and I both have Venus in Taurus, so I guess we are stuck with each other through thick and thin 🙂

  7. Ah, so timely! I’m paying so much attention at my way of relating these days and baaam: I’m the problem. it’s incredible how easy I attract since I’m average looking, nothing special, incredibly relatable- maybe that’s it, BUUUUUT so so so hard to keep a relationship. I seem so put together and contained ( Cap ASC ) that I freak out when intimacy has to make room and I start to be all over the place and avoidant emotionally (Pisces moon). I have to take it incredibly slow otherwise I freak out and start to control the situation and there’s a war that ends any relationship in a millisecond with no turning point. I have Saturn (1st house) opposite Venus, Mars, Jupiter (7th house). I don’t know if I have to solve it but I have to work with it. I also have to change my tastebuds regarding men, not because they’re bad or anything, I always seem to go for harsh Sun-Pluto guys and never have peace psychologically. I respect them, find them really attractive but we don’t seem to get eachother on a basic level which causes control issues, each on their on.

  8. I think I’m the opposite. I’m a Pisces but I deny my gut feeling after others tell me differently. I’m shy and reserved, so I don’t go around to look for relationship. Relationship comes to me. Each and every time after first 2-3 meetings, my gut will tell me the guy who meets me is not the right one. I then always tell them that. Yet to this day of life, each of them had ways to persuade me that I shouldn’t feel that way. And nothing exhausts me more than confrontation so I always give in. Again and again, time passes, resent and anger and hurt built in me until one day I explode, usually over nothing ( because I can’t explode over the things that they already denied, things that I already accepted their denial, so I explode over other insignificant things. ) Then they are in rage, then they stop the relationship, thus spare me from agony. I’d rather they blame me than I blame myself.
    I think most of Pisces, should stick with singlehood. Unless they can stick with their ‘ NO ‘ from their gut feeling. Predators are out and about looking for preys, eat them and spit out the bones.
    I’ll stick with singlehood.
    Not sure whether it’s in my chart but it’s time-saving had people got not only their birth certificate when they were born, but the birth chart as well. They will use life time more efficiently.

  9. Avatar

    I’ve always have trouble honoring my gut instinct about a prospective partner when I’m overpowered by prolonged loneliness. I have Mars in Pisces. Yes, being alone is better than being with someone toxic, but being alone is also excruciating in a different way. You can do the right thing for yourself and still feel awful.

  10. Finding love is not so different as to maintain it and follow for whole life. To keep any relation for long time specially love relationship you have to attain qualities like patience , faith, tolerance and to understand feelings of other. If you have all these qualities only then it will be possible to carry on the love relationship for long time.

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