We don’t seem to hear about, grieving, anymore. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is the last person to have anything important to say about it…and that was more than 50 years ago.
I think video games and tv programs and the like are jam-packed with death. These deaths are shocking, but the characters almost always, “move on”, immediately. I talking to a friend about the program, Breaking Bad. People die on screen and you shrug, okay? This is what we see in this program (which I enjoyed), over and over.
It’s not to single out the one program. This is just something most have seen, so it serves as a good example. If you see this reaction to death, over and over, it’s bound to affect you.
The other thing I see portrayed as far as death is concerned, is a brooding character, who lost the love of their life and can’t move on. That’s not grieving either!
I think grieving is part of healing. If you skip this step, you cheat yourself of the opportunity to heal on a deep level. I just don’t see how a human being can suffer a staggering loss and treat it in the same way as a digital character… yet people do this and they’re expected to do this, by and large.
Loss of life is not the only thing a soul needs to grieve. There are other losses, a person needs time to assimilate. We should be better to ourselves and each other in this regard as there is a difference between a flesh and blood person and a digital character. A soul needs time to absorb these changes.
Many have struggled to put the pandemic era behind them. This may be part of the reason. We’re just not encouraged to stop and think and feel through our feelings. Most everyone suffered a traumatic loss at that time, one way or the other. It makes me wonder if a good percentage of the collective is stuff in “anger” phase of the grieving process.
Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Dying
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
If you think this may be you, there’s a good chance you’re stuck, due to the constant distractions. I think it’s important to cry your tears.
Have you grieved your losses? Are you grieving now? Something else?
I’m thinking, Pluto in Capricorn is about real healing. Think about consolidating your losses, and resolving them, deep down. It’s a big change ahead. Get off on the best foot you can.
Symptoms – symptoms are a common sign of unhealed loss / unfelt emotions. Definitely a lot of symptoms arising again with Pluto’s last visit to Capricorn, and amplified with Mars in Cancer involved currently (inflammation and immune system active). Emotions (Cancer) Structure (Capricorn). The structure starts bending and moving and ‘speaking’ under pressure from built up emotions (Cancer) = symptoms. Men, who traditionally have not been supported to openly express emotions and remain silent…keep an eye, but it’s all of us in varying degrees. If you are an empath…your symptoms may also be collective. Last big purge/historical clear out now.
Supreme Loss – not just personal- steal so many years of your life because someone makes a ‘deadly ‘ disease – and now the whole world has to pay the price. Not only has there been no accountability, there’s been no kind of apology or anything. Just the tremendous Loss of this Country. Freedom. It’s an illusion that is being held up as long as possible – like no ones ever going to die, until they do – o my. We’ve been sold a huge lie, many of them for a long time. It had everything to do with Oil, but it’s mor We all inherently know the truth – madness is living in denial. And We’re all trying to pretend our reality isn’t as bad as it is, for we’re on VERY SHAKY Ground.
Agree and mentioned you here:
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/saturn-direct-in-pisces-november-15-2024-time-to-move/
“I’m thinking, Pluto in Capricorn is about real healing.“
I feel this. My whole chart less natal moon, Venus, Saturn, and Pluto has been touched via conjunction or square since Pluto hit 8° Capricorn. I’m young. I’ve learned if nothing else true deep healing in this time since. Many losses. Scary circumstances. Heaviness. I feel like I’ve unfurled due to it all. Like a rag wrung dry one too many times. Like there’s nothing left in a good way. Like I can be drenched again and again and it will be okay because i get it. To be scraped clean from the inside out is to feel so deeply that you are grateful for the low because it’s given you access to a new high.
I began the work of reconciliation— finding what grieving was never allowed when my country and culture were stolen and values “disappeared “ when 2024 began. Though I am old, the generational trauma has never been allowed to be grieved; first the truth needed to be unearthed.
Elizabeth Kubla Ross’s stages of grief has served as foundational in Western healing journey but I am learning how to integrate her stages with my native culture’s value relating to grief and begin to practice that form -including public wailing — to align my body mind and soul. Big work, slow and deep. And the stages don’t travel in a straight line or in order.
Through my actions may I serve my ancestors – past and future.
I believe that we rest on a foundation of love from the Ancestors, and they are always with us. That’s why I’m not stressing now. One love,
I lost my brother, and sister a few years after my Husband. No room in my heart to grieve as my grief was so intense for the love of my life. “experts” say anything longer than a year is complicated grief. Unless one has had such an intense experience of losing a spouse, one will never know. As far as the stages of grief they are not experienced in a linear fashion. Ever.
Yes, that does sound like too much to process.
I have had emotions that were too much to process. I have a health condition that messed me up for a few years and caused too much emotion in general, it is proven to do that via brain scans. So the way I decided to deal with it, now my health is improved through better technology is to just not deal with it. To push it all into the background and only deal with things as they came up through dream interpretation, astrology insights, meditation etc.
I have looked a bit at the Kubler Ross stages and seen other people talk about them – and other methods. I had a close friend (I knew her for two years and talked to her daily) that killed herself in 2022. I seem to have jumped straight to bargaining. Trying to have insights in my mind as to how it could be avoided. ‘What the lesson is’? Then to anger when I decided that a lot of people involved behaved badly and there is nothing I can do about that. Maybe that is acceptance but it feels like anger. I don’t feel at peace with it.
Once something gets to anger I think, that is good because then it can be released through going to the gym. Difficult emotions won’t survive lifting tens or hundreds of kilograms in weight. The hormonal combinations for emotions continue to exist in our bloodstream and get cleaned out through exercise.
This makes me think about funerals or memorials. Avoid them because they’re sad and gut wrenching but they are needed for the living. The ceremony may be brief, with the planning a mix of dread and busyness that can distract, but it does culminate in a release. After that, the event in terms of the clock and calendar, but the grief is not over. Everything you’ve ever known is different, the routines feel empty or like a later Picasso piece.
Maybe in terms of the pandemic, certain events were like memorials for some: vax, openings and one’s grief process was dependent upon their comfort level during that time. Those who saw their kidnapper/potential murderers die would feel some satisfaction in that. Those that felt safety and protection would be frightened, sad.
That analogy still doesn’t show a complete picture: it does make me realize that the people in either of those scenarios still have some form of profound grief.
Can the grief also be the absolute destruction of one’s expectations? Is bargaining also the desire for retribution, an extension or expression of anger.
I, too, haven’t heard Kubler-Ross in so long. What an excellent topic. I remember being horrified by death in a movie scene (something about an astronaut in space and his helmet blew off- very graphic). Violence is very fast moving, not only the action but as you say, the grieving process, all tied up in a bow and resolved in 30, 90 minutes.
I’ve probably been stuck between Anger and Depression ever since first learning of death as a small child. I look back at how much of my Getting On With Life was actually Defiance. Most of what I pursued seems superficial now, but served to distract from the unfixable flaw of mortality.
Boy, this is honest. Thank you.
It’s a realization that really gelled due to the combination of retirement, age, hermitude, and bereavements of the pandemic. I’d venture to say that nearly all the accomplishments of man are at their core acts of defiance against mortality.
Thanks for this post. In many ways I feel I’ll just have to write the past five years off, maybe I’ll realize some gold later on. For now though, I haven’t allowed myself to grieve, and now I will.
At the moment, due likely, I would guess, at events coming early next week. There is way more anger on the internet. A couple of youtube comments I have made have people making angry comments against me that was not happening before.
It’s not just grief though. There are a lot of complex emotions that have gone around in and since the pandemic:
Anger that is not from grief. Anger that comes from lack of accountability. A lot of people were pressured to submit to medical procedures which was a fear that proved unfounded. We did not all die from a cold. The people pushing this pressure have made no effort at apology, and just want to sweep it under the rug now.
The confusion and fear at the sudden manifestation of government power. The government locked down the entire planet within two weeks of the virus. Not just the US, not just the EU. But EVERY country. Including countries supposedly not allied with the US such as Russia.
Inflation.
Lack of hope. With the economy going all over the place people can’t shake off their bad feelings but getting a new job and meeting new people.
Also related:- Dating seems to have massively decreased. Some people get hope by jumping to a new relationship.
I remember I had a friend over lockdown who said to me that she felt some satisfaction at all the Law of Attraction people on her facebook finally having to accept the fact that the outside world exist. No more ‘You create your own reality’. At this point the government has locked you indoors. So that is a big thing that people have to process now.
I agree with everything you wrote. A first. Hooray! Agreement!
You mean you don’t agree with me normally? I’m shocked Elsa.
one of my primary goals for the past couple years has been figuring out how to accept reality. to stop blinding myself to it.