I’m in a situation where I talk to men and women of all ages, all the time. I’m just off the phone with yet another man who would like to be in a relationship. Problem is, women hate men? Women think men are horrible?
Meantime, we’ve got “Phoenix” around here, commenting about this same issue. Some men demonstrate their rage by withholding or various other sundries. This is a real thing.
I also speak to many, many women who would like to partner. This is post is for that population…
I am letting you know, many men… most men, have these feelings to at least some extent. If you want one of them to invest in you, think about making it abundantly clear, your value the male gender.
Here’s something crazy. Twenty years ago, I wrote a post, outlining what I told me daughter, who was about 11 years old or so. I told her to avoid men who hate women, like the plague. This has flipped!
Today, I told a man to avoid women who dislike men, entirely. Not to invest anything in a women who was confused in this regard. I also told him there are women out there who do value men. I know this is true, because I talk to women like this on a daily basis.
If you are alone and don’t want to be, I think being clear about this from the start, can only help. It should not be necessary but it is necessary because the media sprays us with a fire hose of negativity, ’round the clock.
I will stop here before I say something radical, but please think about this. Go on the date and immediately let the man (or woman) know, you’re sane.
This may be the thing that makes the difference, and allows you to secure a life partner so you won’t have to go it alone.
This tip, courtesy of my Mercury conjunct Mars in Libra.
Love your writings I got divorced 10 years ago. I’d love a buddy I’m just not sure I could create what was ideal for me as a young bride. I am pretty secure and content I miss the smell of man’s aftershave or just that Marlboro man on the horse, the guy that opens the door on occasion, however, what I find to be dealbreaker are alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes, and most recently had a wonderful moment with a dude and once twice after I saw him, he kept saying I’d love for my kids to meet you and that’s where I stopped because our closeness has nothing to do with his kids I have kids and grandkids and my quota has been met. I am not sure if saying oh I’d love for you to meet My kids means I should say oh I’d love you to meet my kids. It’s not The Brady Bunch time for me. I really can’t divide my time between more and more people maybe one special but he would do but when he said oh I would love for you to meet the kids , it threw me I know we’re proud of our kids. I know we like showing them off and we want them to know our joy and our happiness but to be honest I can’t do more family stuff I’m just looking for the one on one stuff.
It’s more difficult for women to invest in a heterosexual relationship now. For many decades a lot of women have invested in themselves – becoming more financially independent and psychologically aware. Boys are still trained by peers, parents and the media to be less emotionally open and think of themselves as hyper-independent. For this reason, men generally have not invested in growing psychologically as much as women have. Most men unconsciously still see emotions and self-awareness as a challenge to their independence. So it can be difficult for a self-aware female to find a suitable mate.
Absolutely aho to this! Needle in a haystack finding an emotionally intelligent man that matches me. No vanity here, just fact 🤷♀️
Wonderfully expressed Holly. Hopefully this is something Elsa understands
Great advice! And speaking as a long married man, I run into sweet, nice looking and very eligible women from time to time, and I wonder why they aren’t married with kids..Don’t be discouraged, single males! She’s out there somewhere, if you make the effort….
Before meeting my current BF, I realized this was the case for me. I had been in more than one constellation with a man, who ended up realizing he hated women shortly before our relationship ended.
But I hated men too! I hated my father (see previous post about Mars/Mercury aspects), I hated my ex, I hated all things with masculine energy, but could not seem to own it. And why? Because my relationship with my mother had always been estranged, she was a victim of my dad’s abusive shitshow, and thus I had never learned how to value both my masculine and feminine powers. It also goes to show I have Black Moon Lilith in Capricorn, 12th house, square Moon. I have Juno in Capricorn, square Moon too.
I have Mars in Capricorn, square Moon.
Of course, he ended up cheating emotionally on me and also violate my sexual boundaries, textbook victim patterns.
So, after that relationship ended in 2016 I got my sh*t together. Partly due to what I was reading about angry women here on this blog actually. I got into therapy, and I started dating men. I wanted to actually LIKE the opposite sex and after some years I had gotten the “chip off my shoulder” (a term used by Elsa about angry women).
It has taken me a lot of time and therapy but it will be one of the most important things I have done in my life. Of course this was while Pluto transitted all the cap placements… in the 12th.
I identify with everything you said. I also had to figure out why I was so negative about men when I was young and went to therapy to do it. Best money I ever spent.
I agree 100 percent. Therapy is completely off in that regard, as long as the person is qualified and reliable and able to do their job in a way thatbworks for you!
*never completely off
I don’t know if it’s flipped but it’s good advice for both genders!
“Go on the date and immediately let the man know, you’re sane”. I think the response would be, lol I believe you, but thousands wouldn’t 😂
I think to be honest, it’s flipped both ways. And it’s not that men hate women, and women hate men. It’s more of a case of men MISTRUST women, and women MISTRUST men.
Both genders have had to deal with either compulsively flaky ghosters, or Grade A clingers. For a number of years now. People who are seriously avoidant due to past heartbreaks, or people who are overly needy due to past heartbreaks. Everyone has unresolved issues and a past “somebody” that brought them no closure, and who they can’t let go of 🙄
Communication skills and emotional intelligence is pretty much down the toilet, and it’s hard pressed to find someone who resembles any kind of normal.
So of course, I could tell a man how same I am. I could even SHOW a man how same I am. But …. are THEY sane? Can they even recognise what a sane person even is?
Even generally, it’s not as simple as that. There are more and more tired and broken people out there, you can feel it in the air now. And it’s going to get worse this year, with Saturn and Neptune in Pisces, and Pluto in Aquarius. The two last signs of the Zodiac, so they rule the collective.
But if you’re sane and you meet someone sane, it is that simple, because you both know what to do.
This is the population I am addressing here, strictly. People who have not fallen prey to everything you mention.
You can have two sane people who meet, but who may want very different things. One may want committed relationships, the other may want to be single forever.
It seems most people want neither/both, or to have their cake and eat it. They want independence, but they want the nice bits of a relationship without the hard work of commitment. Ergo situationships and friends with benefits agreements, casual dating several people, which are more commonplace than actual relationships.
Capricorn is the sign of commitment, making a relationship official, the relationship status, the titles: single, engaged, married, divorced, widowed, etc.
However we have had Pluto in Capricorn which I still maintain has actually done away with commitment, and the hard work that comes with relationships.
The age bracket most likely marry are now in the 60s (Capricorn link to age). Anyone from their 50s and below, it’s not happening. Especially to the Pluto Libra generation, it’s almost nigh on imo (Pluto square from Capricorn)
So I’m wondering what Pluto in Aquarius will bring to the relationship template? What will happen to friends (Aquarius) with benefits/situationships? Will Pluto highlight and exacerbate that? Or destroy it altogether by revealing the darker side of that?
Silly. Dating is a fairly new concept, same as the “love” marriage and nuclear families , that isolate women and children inside of homes and force fathers to leave their family all day in order to provide a house he never sits in for a family he barely sees.
Yuck.
I am bitter. Totally willing to admit this. Especially today. I’m reading a book about this too. And have another on my list.
My little is home sick today and I’m being triggered by flashbacks of being a stay at home mom for 12 years. M-PTSD!
The old days of large clans and villages living loving and working together need to come back.
What if they’re not coming back? Also, were they ever?
Last time I was single(10 years ago) I was in a male dominated field, but I only went on 3 dates in 3 years, and every single one had me getting up from the table and leaving early, incredulous as to the gall of the guy to speak to me the way he did. One I remember said I had a pretty sweet racket- I must go out on dates just to get a free meal. I was making 350K per year and taking 6 months vacation per year. I sure as hell didn’t need anyone to buy me lunch. I decided to move to a less developed country where they had more traditional ideas about dating. Maybe it had to do with living near SF. I don’t know.
I have this sort of (was) friend that hangs around. He told me that men don’t care how they smell, dress, and behave, or want to exhibit any kind of manners, after they turn 45. Much to the chagrin of his son who’s 40. This so called friend sat at a table in a nice cafe and reached in his mouth to pull out a tooth that was falling out, and place it on the table. I told him that was gross. His response to that – he then pulled out a nose hair and put it on the table. He’s no longer in my ‘tribe’. A close female friend said he is ‘low vibration’. I’m culling the herd that I spend time with and I enjoy both sexes in friendships. Nowadays I enjoy time doing things with myself, exploring me, meaning, my inner workings, then I tolerate some ‘community’ time.
Welcome, Rascal.
Hard to find a man, lots and lots of boys though.
Yeah, I suppose I am annotating the other side to this forum. I would consider this place fairly securely what is called “blue pill”. As in it ascribes to a kind of mainstreamy world view, that does not ask some obvious answers where red pill would and “defaults to truth” where red pill wouldn’t, and tends to consider manosphere or red pill types of reality as… likely some form of hate speech.
That is only because of the lack of nuance here in only being able to share brief posts on subjects and not being able to go into depth. In actual fact I don’t subscribe to a lot of red pill types of viewpoints. Where I have previously found differences in that super rare part of reality – “real life” – as one example the idea that “chads” don’t get any trouble with women is not something I believe, and I think largely stems from jealousy. But as an entire set of data and a set of content creators I don’t consider them incorrect by virtue of the redpill label, so I work off that entire dataset if trying to understand something; and I like astrology a lot which is why I am here at all. Often that is data I have to later discard.
In essence I credit myself with enough intelligence to know I don’t really know with a lot of these issues.
Of my friends and acquaintances there is so much unbelievable chaos. I would say I grew up, not working class perhaps lower middle class in a sense. No one I know has a stable relationship. There are open relationships, people that sleep around, divorces, and other things I don’t have the energy to unpick. The pure vulgarity of gen z that often seem to have the sexual experience of a post middle age swinger is yet another thing that is just exhausting.
My thoughts are that it comes down to politics and that if you want to have a healthy relationship you can’t be left wing because that’s where the degeneracy is in general. It’s only a guess though I would need more data.