Hits You Like A Brick

brickPluto is stationing in hard aspect to my natal Mercury. It’s uncomfortable. I know all kinds of dark and/or dire stuff.  I sense it, or I just know it or whatever.

I feel bad handling this. It’s enough to make me sick because my natal Mercury in in Libra. I can’t tell you how much I like things to be nice.  This is embarrassing to my 8th house but it’s just the way it is. I turn my head when some movie person gets stabbed and I’m sure I always will.

I turn to my husband for support with this. He has a stronger constitution than I do, when it comes to people meeting their fate or just plain suffering the consequences of their actions. I don’t think this is because he’s cold or insensitive. He’s just hit the wall so many times himself, he sees the inevitability of it. He believes in comeuppance and does not think it’s avoidable, by anyone.

“People are waking up and they just don’t like where they’re at,” I said. “They’ve driven their lives to some point; they don’t like it and they can’t believe or accept their limited options.  They just can’t believe there is so little room to maneuver, perhaps there is no room to maneuver. It’s the reason you’re in truck. You wake up one day and realize that you’re this old and you have these options so you work with them but people just can’t cope with the fact they’re in a corner and they really must compromise. I don’t know how they’re  going to deal when it actually hits them. That their life has been reduced to something less then they imagined for themselves and also that it’s a result of their own choices.”

He responded, “Pull the covers up over your head, your feet are going to get cold.”

It’s this simple to him, and ultimately he’s right.

Are you down in the trenches, dealing with your life at this point, or no?

22 thoughts on “Hits You Like A Brick”

  1. “Pull the covers up over your head, your feet are going to get cold.” So true.

    There have been some dirty dealings coming to light at work, painful consequences to people who do not deserve them, and I guess the honeymoon’s over: I am no longer confident that I can make the right decision according to policies and the law and expect higher-ups to have my back. I didn’t think this was the kind of company I was working for, but evidently this is the case. My only choice is to be circumspect and very careful, very conscious of politics in any action I take. Pluto’s within orb of squaring my Moon, just got done bulldozing my Sun. It’s emotionally harrowing to see this happen and to feel so disempowered to do the right thing.

  2. square my natal uranus & midheaven. just finished squaring mercury & chiron, plus a sextile to saturn.

    i feel like change is upon me. as much as i want change, there’s a severe level of uncertainty about it. i hope for change for the better, but sometimes it’s out of our control. it’s an uneasy feeling that i just have to surrender to & hope to make the best of whatever the outcome is.

    next up is a square to my sun, moon & jupiter. as well as a
    conjunction to mars. that should be fun..

  3. Right now I’m dealing with my life as it is. I spent a lot of the past five years with my head in the fuckin’ sand, though, and I’m just glad it hasn’t completely sunk me yet. I’m still young enough to have options, though that time is dwindling and faster than I’d like to believe it to be. *nods*

  4. Same here – pluto’s in my 3rd house, squaring my mercury in libra. I’ve been struggling to keep myself from being taken over by paranoid thoughts and fears…

  5. I am feeling the consequences and my anxiety is worse lately. Realization that I wasted 8 precious years I could have worked in a company and getting that experience now I’m almost 40 with a toddler and can’t find work because I chose to the self employed route which wasn’t good for me and now doesn’t look good on a resume and my husband is resentful for having to bear so much of the financial burden. On top i let myself go too much during pregnancy so Im a little over 200lbs and still eating my troubles. Also regretting not getting a degree, I feel shame and guilt so that kicks up the anxiety disorder. I’m at a place where I have to accept where I am and be at peace with it. I’m almost 40 and essentially starting over but with a young child and limited options.
    However my sag sun keeps me optimistic,.
    I know once I find peace with where I am and accept the reality and forgive myself everything will fall into place and I know I can do it 🙂

  6. Man, your husband sounds great.

    I love being around people that have this really point blank sorta non-chalant-esqe vibe of practicality (as in, they make it look so easy to be the way they are). I can’t really describe what it is…cause it isn’t ‘simple’ it’s just cleaner? maybe.

    My mom is kinda like that — and sometimes it is so comforting to have her respond to my intenso half hour rants with a one line, in the moment statement that sums up everything that is immediately apparent and true.

    Sorta feels like taking an emotional/thought tylenol—dulls the pain and frenetic buzzing.

    I dunno, that’s what this reminded me of.

  7. Tomato Hornworm

    At what age did I learn that life
    was something you could fail at?
    That a life conducted badly leads
    to rooms with blankets on the windows,
    suppers of hard-boiled eggs,
    a townhouse hunched between the legs
    of an electric pylon. Bingo dabbers.
    Pants that won’t stay up.
    Years spent poking at a screen,
    dislodging molecules of fun.

    When I hear hailstones rattle on a skylight,
    watch a red bug climbing up a stem,
    or admire a Nile-shaped crack in my wall,
    in what sense am I livng well?

    How many times must I have liked the wine
    before I can honestly say
    What years those were,
    if only I had them back?

    If three times in five the wine is astringent, the blubber discoloured,
    the eggs a bit off,
    then in some sense I must have done this
    wrongly, ruined a good life
    with crummy selections, botched
    my self-portrait
    with unstable paints and a varnish
    that everyone knew would turn black.

    Now something is slowly moving across its life,
    a tomato hornworm.
    It seems to care which way it goes,
    it wants to live well,
    it appears not to know
    how horrid it is no matter what it does.

    – Bruce Taylor

    (Me: Mars 1 degree from cj Mars 4, sq Mercury 1, semisq Pluto 11, t Mars cj Sun 12.)

  8. I just LOVE how the way you described it Elsa!

    I have a cousin who also has Libra Mercury being squared by Pluto right now and I just feel the discontent he’s going through… It’s sad but a very necessary passage. He also has a Libra stellium in the late degrees (Saturn,Pluto,Venus,Sun)… Sometimes I’m a bit scared for him because when Pluto will square that stellium so will Saturn that will conjunct Pluto at that time! I don’t know where Uranus will be but hopefully NOT opposing his stellium at the same time!!!!

    Everybody choses their own path.. so true.

  9. At the recieving end of Pluto square (and Uranus conjunction) with my Mercury at 0 Aries 56′ and Sun at 8 Aries 43′ in 9th house.

    Could it be that the Pluto energy is easier for planets in Aries than those in Libra. Maybe also with Pluto natally in my 1st house Leo and Moon in 4th house Pluto-ruled Scorpio I am familiar with Pluto’s mode of operation.

    This is not to say that I haven’t been feeling it in a strong way but so far it has not been heavy in a bad way.

    Maybe these are the famous last words because the 1st exact Uranus-Pluto square will be on my Sun and the last one on my MC at 14 Aries 27.

  10. I am scorpio my finace condition is going down i visit on forever horoscopes says “The period to the beginning of May should be used to call upon the maximum of the financial gains. Expansion of the finances between May and November 15 is seen with increase of the loads.” its true!

  11. I am in the trenches dealing with things now as I approach 40. I definitely buy in to the idea of comeuppance. For years I stumbled around here and there and then got pissy when I didn’t get what I wanted. Well duh, you didn’t try. Now my problem is dealing with the regret of those years, and the fear of missing out on something dear to me now because I didn’t get my ducks in a row fast enough. I feel like I have to go with what dreams are available to follow now based on the time I have left, instead of having the luxury to pursue them all or at least pick and choose. And yeah occasionally, I still get burned on a decision I made years ago. Oh well, we all do our level best. I’m building a life now that’s much more in line with what my soul wants, and nobody “has it all”. Maybe in my next life I will start being honest with myself and focused on my goals a whole lot sooner. Oh yeah – and I’ll be a lot less hard on myself, to boot. 🙂

  12. After where I’ve been, overall I feel like I’m in heaven. My energy level is low though for getting done the usual chores. I’d work more hours at a job to hire a maid, but right now I’m too physically disorganized to put someone in that position.

  13. the corpse, right now, is having a conference where all of the major lost loves of my life occurred. and realizing there’s no one, there, i want to see, now. the place is full of echoes. and empty. like a dream set. and i’m realizing how incredibly unhappy i was the whole time i was there.

    and that i need to let it go.

  14. Wooh! Scary/sad article. I just had my first Saturn return (conjunct the Libra MC with Pluto)last fall. I think I’m just now feeling the effects. I have Sun and Merc. in the 8th, and I never used to do it as much, but now I always look away from gory scenes in movies too. I can’t even handle the sounds, so I usually cover my ears as well!
    I’ve been in a slump for the last two months,and I know I need to get my butt in gear. But the longer I wait the scarier it gets. I’m not cornered, but this makes me think of my Uncle who lives with us. He’s an alcoholic, has been forever, and his father (my grandfather), is now suffering the consequences of his previous alcoholic lifestyle. My mother is also an alcoholic. But my Uncle just recently retired, and now he has nothing to do all day but talk about all of the things he wants to accomplish, and it’s sooooo frustrating because when I’m listening to him, I know it’s just hot air; he’s just going to get smashed and it’s NEVER going to get done. That’s what this makes me think of. He’s pi$$ed away most of the opportunities he’s had in his life because he didn’t want to face responsibility (I think he’s the down side of Sun conjunct Saturn in Virgo).
    I just wonder if one of these days he’s not going to have enough hooch around, and some epiphany is going to float in about where he’s at with his life, and what he can do about it. His Dad finally had this epiphany at 85 years old, when they told him if he drinks another drop he will die. Finally he decides life’s worth living sober.
    People have tried to talk to him about it, but he gets really angry and defensive. He suffered a trauma to his arm in his youth, and lost part of it, and I hear he hasn’t been the same since. I understand that was a terrible thing for him, but I just wish he didn’t fill the subsequent part of his life with regretful actions in his vicious cycle.
    A scary thought 🙁

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