How To Solve Venus Square Neptune Love Problems

neptuneHi Elsa,

I’ve never been in a relationship (Capricorn on the descendant) and I’m often disillusioned and deceived by everyone who crosses my path (Venus square Neptune). I know the problem is me, not them. I want to work on this and break this awful pattern but I don’t know how to start or what to do. Can you give me some advice please?


Hi, Loveless.

You’ve identified the problem, taken responsibility for it and you’re committed to work on it. This is a significant achievement. All you need do now, is follow through. As for the first step, this is key:

“I’m often disillusioned and deceived by everyone who crosses my path…”

That tells me that you expect too much from people. People are people. They are all flawed. In order to form (lasting) relationships, we must accept a person’s flaws. It’s not hard to do, if you realize that you are wanting and needing someone to be forgiving of your shortcomings too.

He talks too much, she has bad moods and horrible pms. This person repeats themselves, this other person is a bit clingy. This other person is late all the time and not that reliable…

All of those things might be true, but whoever says them is choosing to focus on a person’s imperfections.  How would you like it if someone did that to you?

I have Venus square Neptune myself. To resolve problems, come to understand that this is earth, not heaven.  We’re humans down here. We choose to love people, even though they’re cranky, they make bad choices and if you pressure them, they might lie. They also fart, think highly of themselves, and they may be prone to depression.

You get the idea. You’ve got to opt to leave the fantasy world and deal with the nuts and bolts of life. Get your feet on the ground and be a normal person looking for another normal person to relate to. It’s really the only way.

Good luck!

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7 thoughts on “How To Solve Venus Square Neptune Love Problems”

  1. Or just not need a relationship at all – take people as they come and dump em when they show you what a piece of crap they are. Sometimes it’s not about accepting people’s flaws and more about you allowing people to take advantage of your kindness because they think it’s weakness instead. IF that’s the case, the only real solution is to walk away and enjoy your own company.

  2. Great article! It prompted me to look at my chart. I’ve got Neptune all over the place, no wonder I feel like I’m dreaming! My Venus Trines Neptune. Is this a similar aspect?

  3. I have neptune in libra which is “the dream of relationship”, and it squares my venus in cancer, which can become too attached…luckily I also have saturn in libra, which is “the reality of relationship”,so it keeps me down to earth and it’s easier for me to define seperate boundaries and maintain my independence…relationships are about two “wholes” coming together, not two “halfs”.

  4. Elsa, I’ve been reading some of your posts on Venus-Neptune aspects because I have the Square, but only now I remembered my Neptune is Retrograde. Does this actually make a difference?

    I have never felt attracted to perfect people. I find flaws endearing, but at the same time, I want to be perfect for them.

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