Is A Relationship That Begins With Venus Is Retrograde Doomed?

Many astrologers suggest that a relationship that begins when Venus is retrograde is doomed. I’ve seen no evidence of this.  If a healthy baby can be born with Venus retrograde, then why not a relationship?

There are successful people with Venus retrograde in their chart. They are successful in life and successful in love.

Some astrologers stop short of saying you’re doomed. They say the outcome of the thing won’t be known until Venus turns direct and goes beyond the point where it turned retrograde.

This is confounding to me because you aren’t going to know the outcome of a relationship with someone you just met within three months anyway.

Keep in mind, we’re dealing with energy here, which has endless ways it might express. That right there puts a big dent in these hard and fast rules that have no basis. For you all know, you invite you new prospect over for dinner and the cake you bake, falls. Right there’s your Venus (sugar) retrograde. But if he’s smart enough to eat the fallen cake and tell you it’s delicious, you just might marry him, so there!

Look at that woman in the painting. Think she’s not going to get what she wants because a planet is Rx? Come on.

I wonder how many masterpieces have been painted or sculpted with Venus retrograde?  Countless paintings, no doubt. When you consider things like this, the answer to this question is pretty clear.

Q – Are relationships that begin with Venus retrograde, doomed?
A – No.

What do you know about Venus retrograde?

Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here! Also, please include your location. It adds a layer of interest!

33 thoughts on “Is A Relationship That Begins With Venus Is Retrograde Doomed?”

  1. i have venus retrograde. may be why i have diabetes. *shrug*
    but i do fine with relationships. if a little oddball and quirky in some ways. i like the way i’m drawn.

  2. I did fall for someone during a Venus retrograde, only to have him completely turn around and reject and ignore me for no apparent reason about two months later. That was not fun, and I’m still slightly wounded by it. So… I felt like after Venus went direct, he changed his mind and decided he didn’t want me anymore. Kind of like a Mercury Retrograde, you want to return the purchase you made.
    So, I am still wary during Venus Retrogrades because of that little sting in the past.

  3. Petra, it is possible that might be the norm for you but when you put a wide lens on this… well it’s just like Mercury Rx. I bought this computer with Mercury Rx and had a hell of a time setting it up but since – Vroooooooooooom!

    1. Elsa, thank you for your “fresh take” on Venus & Mercury Rx. I too bought a computer during Mercury Rx b/c I could not wait on the purchase. I too had a difficult time setting it up & getting comfortable with it (switched from PC to Apple iMAC). I knew what I wanted, it turned out to be exactly as I hoped it would be, & I have no regrets now after a rocky start (thanks to YouTube tutorials).

  4. i have natal venus rx (and for what it’s worth, mercury rx too).

    i’m 27 and feel like i’ve had at least 3 “love of my life” intense relationships thus far.

    i think my venus rx manifests as being a late bloomer, or feeling like things don’t come easy in the relationship department. i’ve been boy-crazy since i was 5 but had to wait till i was 14 to feel like boys actually liked me.

    the upside has been that because i don’t take it for granted, i work extra hard on my relationships and on my personal happiness. i don’t think venus rx is an actual handicap – i just think it’s a time delay that affects one’s character. it forces one to not take it for granted. all the venus rx women i know are the types who hate makeup and are very adamant about a guy “taking me as i am”.

  5. Well my daughter planned a wedding in April of 2009 when Venus was retro. I told her it was asking for trouble, but she had to go with it. The marriage lasted only 17 months. Maybe if the marriage or baby makes it to the progression day, turn around, the energy shifts and can move forward…maybe?

  6. I was reading another astrologer recently who also said she didn’t have much truck with this idea. Apparently the other thing you’re not supposed to do is invest money or make important purchases, but she said that two antique dealers she knew always found their best bargains during Venus rx.

    So maybe it’s that thing that doesn’t look like it’s worth anything much might turn out to be something really valuable?

  7. No, a relationship is not necessarily doomed. My friend got hired for a new job when Mercury was retrograde. We were interested to see what would transpire. What happened was that the terms of her employment changed, but she still continued to work there. I think starting a relationship under Venus retrograde is much the same. Some aspect of the initial relationship will change, something ‘Venusian,’. Maybe what you like to do together will change, or how you relate will change, or what you thought you first valued about someone may not be what you end up valuing, or whatever. Someone I know refers to it as a ‘false start.’ An aspect of it gets re-worked.
    Or, it dies.

  8. Avatar

    I’ve been wondering this too. I started dating a guy a couple of weeks ago…very, very beginning stages, so who knows what will happen. But, this is still the shadow period of Venus Rx, so I wonder if it can still affect it? I have Venus Rx in Gemini in my progressed chart, so…maybe it can work out better for me due to this?

  9. Both of my two recent relationships have begun under a venus retrograde… Looks like this last one might be ending as we enter another V.R. I must also note that it’s possibly ending due to venusian issues.

    1. Avatar
      Mariela Linares

      I got married with Venus retrograde. I was young and didn’t know astrology. The marriage lasted 17 years because of the children we had, but the love between us faded away within the first year and a half after been married. It was a loveless marriage with many other successful and accomplishments, for example a very prosperous financial life and two beautiful daughters.

      Now, that I am older and know some astrology, I try to accommodate certain events around the planets position, but it is not always possible.

  10. Elsa,
    This new Moon lands in my 5th house/Libra!

    I met someone a year ago (was Venus retrograde Oct. of 09?). We felt a karmic bond. Danced around romance. In April this year he ran from commitment. He’s very wounded from end of his marriage. He separates love from passion to protect himself.

    We each feel a loss w/out the other. Friendship and chemistry alive. We communicate well.

    Will this retrograde help us to see that we can “be”, or that we never can be?

    I have Venus natally in Virgo, conjunct Mars. He has natal Venus in Gemini.

    treasure your writing, thank you

  11. i was born with venus in aries retrogade….going back fast!! and a venus ruled chart…whether or not i’ve been successful in love would depend on a perspective…my relationships haven’t lasted but returning (as friends) is a constant theme.
    in general, my whole life has been a journey of circles always taking me back to the people and places i’ve loved most…i’ve moved back to the same place in 4 different countries over the course of 20+ working years …. always good for the rerun…..
    as for meeting someone during venus rx that i don’t know. at the moment i have someone on the line, happens to be my first male friend age 4…(true)….we had memorable first play date then when i broke his bunk bed after playing ‘tarzan and jane’ and swinging about…(he’s an aries and with my venus there…only natural) ….. so long story short 45 years later he is in brazil and i’m in the middle east and we’re still thinking about next episode….or last episode in ’65 and thay may be venus rx! : )

  12. Whoo, Elsa …i love the way of this writing! That’s the way astrology should be used: positive and without fear!!

  13. I was born with Venus retrograde in Scorpio – conjunct Ascendant, Mercury, and Pluto, nonetheless! – and I have to say I’m very appreciative of this post!! <3 My cakes and my charm can feel awkward but I still get what I want, as long as I'm honest about who I am/what I really want! 🙂

  14. While I do realize that everything is possible and would never advise of “doomed” at the start, what I can say after some 20-plus years of looking at family, friends and clients’ charts is that relationships that did start when Venus was Rx – not even ONE lasted much passed the Venus direct point! I think the reason for this is when Venus is Rx, our values are going through a real housecleaning, and in order to clean house, we sometimes attract in what we are trying to clean out – and it works! Just not always that comfortably or pleasantly. We often recognize something in others before ourselves, right? Now, if we know this ahead of time, it doesn’t have to be so dramatic but most of the time, we are not even conscious of the need to release an old, outworn value. Yes, I do advise those who are head-over-heels to watch and wait patiently at least to the Venus direct point, because there will be a change. This change could be great but it is often not, and honestly, I hope to prepare my client for the change whichever way it plays out. I have been thanked many times for letting them know that a shift is ahead and to relax and keep their eyes open.

  15. Avatar

    I dated someone who alternated between compliments and very nasty verbal abuse during a Venus RX period. A mother-hating Cancer sun, not good. Dark and destructive but thankfully brief. The association had a cold quality to it I’ve never forgotten.

  16. hm. venus retrograde. check. diabetes. check. strict diet and insulin control? check. first relationship to last > 3 months turns into (venus rx) marriage? check. so far so good. easy? no. worth it? of course.

  17. I started a relationship during Venus retro during 2010 April or May, by first week of September cracks started showing, by 31st December 2010 it ended completely. I guess the fact that the relationship starts off highly intense with lots of promises and then things change after Venus goes direct can really strain a relationship. But I suppose if the compatibility is strong chances of survival are higher as opposed to less compatible partners. 7 years later and I’m still traumatized by that experience.

  18. I started seeing someone when Venus was retrograde – our first meeting chart wasn’t great – lots of squares and it felt difficult to meet up but when we were together it was great! The thing is our synastry was fantastic the transits to both our charts the eve we met was strong too. Anyway this was back last spring – (we also met in a very fated way) and then we stopped seeing each other around June and then lost contact but interestingly a couple of weeks ago we have been in touch and are flirting, etc and going to meet up again….this is when Mercury was retrograde! I’m wondering if there could be a future as we met when Venus was retrograde…and that always played on my mind. But I think I had to really work on my self esteem issues through this relationship (venus retro) and since the separation I feel much more confident and have worked through some stuff so maybe we could start again…I am not sure. Interestingly my Progressed Venus will turn retrograde next year too. Just thought I’d share.

  19. I met my boyfriend during a Venus retrograde. I was worried that it might not work out due to the retrograde, so I patiently and cautiously proceeded with the relationship, kept an open mind, and made sure that my head was on straight. It turned out that he was the love of my life; we had great synastry in our charts, and the longer we were together, the deeper in love we fell. I was ending my old relationship so one kind of overlapped the other and the breakup with my old relationship seemed never-ending. I lived with my ex for almost a year before I could save up enough money to get out and pursue my new relationship full-time but it was worth the wait. I attribute the Venus retrograde to creating delays in obtaining one’s desires. Thank God his Venus conjuncted my sun, for I’ve never met someone who made me feel more valued, more beautifu, or more feminine than he. Retrograde or not, this is a true success story with a relationship starting in Venus retrograde!

    1. i love to read this! i met a guy too with the greatest synastry during this venus retrograde. we had one square though, my mars square his neptune and i just felt like that just happened, we fought and he disappeared, well i guess its a retrograde thing as well. but im tryna hope he comes back coz the rest of the synastry was awesome.. wish i wouldve been more cautious.. but this gives me hope? !

      1. Did it start officially or simply begin/ y’all met during the retrograde?
        I’ve met a beautiful man I feel the same about yet we’ve simply met and he feels like my forever man.

  20. Elsa, thank you for your “fresh take” on Venus & Mercury Rx. I too bought a computer during Mercury Rx b/c I could not wait on the purchase. I too had a difficult time setting it up & getting comfortable with it (switched from PC to Apple iMAC). I knew what I wanted, it turned out to be exactly as I hoped it would be. I have no regrets now after a rocky start (thanks to YouTube tutorials). Actually, the setup process was much easier than a PC, it was just different than what I expected & the terminology was somewhat different.

  21. Retrogrades in general are never (or not more than randomly) “doom and gloom and glitches” for me.

    Perhaps that’s because of how I see them:

    To me a retrograde is a period that gives you the opportunity to go over what you think you know, and make sure you indeed do. Kinda like taking a test or exam:

    I went back to college a few years ago, in my 50s. Every test/exam in every class, I would watch as some students just dashed through the questions, answered with or without reflection, and be out of the room in no time flat. Meanwhile another student (also in her 50s, coincidence) and I were always the last to leave. Why? Because not only did we give due consideration (reflection) to each question, but when we were done, we REVIEWED all questions (to make sure we had understood them correctly) AND all answers (to make sure we hadn’t missed a subtle something).

    To me, a retrograde period is one where I am tested. I am called upon to REFLECT on what I think I know, and then, when I think I’m done reflecting, I do a further pass, a REVIEW of my conclusions. (Retrograde = Reflect and Review)

    I apply this to all planetary retrogrades and I tend to ‘score top marks’ (experience few glitches/snafus) most of the time, whether it is a Mercury, Venus, or whatever Rx.

    Retrogrades ask ‘Have you learned the lesson? Do you know your stuff?’ If you do, you pass, unscathed. If you don’t, that’s when the glitches and snafus happen.

    Anyway, this has been ~my~ experience. (Probably because the above-described has been my perspective and practice.) Your mileage may vary.

    I offer my experience here in case someone wants to try (test) the same.

    1. For example, Pluto is Rx right now.

      My chart is laid out such that my life is essentially one long Pluto transit. In re-rereading some of Elsa’s old blogs and comments on them, I came upon a comment Elsa had made to the effect that for people like me, the best strategy is to embrace these Pluto transits, to “step into the transformation(s)”.

      Added to that, I did a lot more Reflection on how I can *embrace* CONSTANT transformation and not have it be so draining and debilitating (you know, too much of a good thing does NOT make you stronger).

      Anyway, I am still Reflecting on the subject, and the specifics of MY case, and writing down my ‘knowledge’ (insights). I do some Reviewing as I go, back and forth, Reflect and Review. I also Revise as needed, as I get more insights and knowledge.

      I have to say, it took me 59 years, but I can ~feel~ in my bones (2nd Saturn Return) that after 6 decades of Hard Work (natal Saturn in Cap square Sun stellium in Libra), SOMETHING … *HAS*… been (or is being) transformed … in a different way … in me.

      Anyway. A current example of Retrograde = Reflect + Revise + Review (rinse and repeat; more often for longer retrogrades of more significant planets)

    2. I appreciate your reflective nature. Last year, i fell in love during a retrograde with my best friend no less and it was POWERFUL. Instantly intense and life changing and i was convinced he was the one. He left about a month after Venus went direct. But damn he was a great love. We continued a deep emotional connection even though he had technically started another relationship. But, i was not moving on with my life holding onto him. Now, i find my self in a Venus Rx again and met someone new. Again, someone i have know for some time, however, only as casual friends. This time around I am reflecting. I’m taking It slow. I’m not getting sexually intimate. We literally are spending time together and getting to know each other. Though the nature of us getting to know each other is romantic, we are also building a stronger friendship. I will not pursue an intimate relationship (if it comes to that) til after Venus goes direct, but, I’m learning from what didn’t work and being different from last time. I’m not jumping all in. I’m not “he’s the one”-omg the situation. I’m thoroughly enjoying getting to know someone better. Will It work out, who knows? However, i feel far more in control and grounded then last time. If the universe is testing me, i believe, i studied as best i could, am taking my time reviewing each question, ensuring i understand it before i answer it and moving forward as best as i can. Wish me some love, patience and wisdom!

  22. Perfect topic! I was just thinking about his last night. I’ve matched with this Scorpio man from a dating website and he wants to take me out. But I’m hesitant because Venus is in retrograde. However, I’m also hesitant because I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship now. In addition, he has a medical condition that is hereditary and I don’t know if I want to get involved with him romantically because that might pose issues later if we click.

    1. Looks like you are using this Venus Rx time to Reflect on your readiness for a relationship and on the impacts of his medical condition. I think this is good, no matter what decision you come to! 🙂

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