Liz asks:
“Is it a good thing to date people who have similar charts to yourself? I’m a late Libra rising and I’ve dated another Libra rising and am communicating with a Scorpio rising. Or is it better to look to people who are opposite rising?”
Given a choice, I would go for the person with energy opposite mine but I have Libra so would be looking for balance.
Anyone else?
I am a Cancer with an Aries moon, and I’ve dated a Sag w/Cancer moon, Aries w/Cancer moon, Capricorn w/Cancer moon, and a Leo w/Cap moon. I seem to draw those Cancer moons!
I would never date a Cancer sun sign though. Way too much like me. I find Cancer men very manipulative. But good in bed.
I’d rather date people with similar charts to me. I’d rather have a air/fire moon (I’m a Sag moon) than a water moon that I’d clash with. My rising sign is opposite my Sun sign, so I’m pretty used to that opposite dynamic in general. I tend to hang around Aries/Sag/Scorpio/Libra folks anyway, and I have those in my chart.
I find that I am consistentl attracted to, or attract, people with suns conjunct my rising, or my sun conjunct theirs.
I always seem to seek out someone opposite me, unless it’s someone that has a lot of Scorpio and then it doesn’t matter, I’m heated up.
I’m a Sagittarius sun & moon, Cancer rising. I could never date a Gemini, I’d rather shoot myself. I like dating fixed signs, a lot. Especially Scorpios, I’m not too sure about Leos, it’s a nice chase, but they take too long to give in and I’ve got my pride too. I’m not really sure, I just take what comes along, if I like it, I keep it and if I don’t, adios.
My husband and I are sun sign opposites, Leo/Aquarius. My ASC is Scorpio and his is Cancer. I know for a fact that if he didn’t have his moon and ASC in Cancer to balance out the Aquariusness then we probably wouldn’t be married. I definitely need a man who is stable and traditional. He has the perfect mix of need for freedom/individuality and for family and security.
I like a balance I tend to like someone who has some similar aspects/elements/signs but also someone who is my opposite as well. Mixed is good.
I tend to find people who have a similar pluto venus or pluto aspects like me because I like intensity and the same game play but I dont mind opposites or inconjuncts. I tend to have many gemini and aries friends which inconjunct my sun but oppose my mars or venus. Its fun.
All of my deepest, and truly life-altering relationships have been with lovable, affectionate, adorable Sadges. I’ve let every one of them go, but we’re under each other’s skin and they never stray far. They think I sparkle, and I love them for their innocence. In each case, we’re stuck together for life. Devotion is the word that comes to mind.
Scorp Sun, Virgo rising, Pisces moon.
I used to think that I’d prefer someone similar to me, but now I’m not so sure. The funny thing is, the guy I’m involved with at first didn’t look like somebody who would make sense for me at all. An Aquarian with an Aries moon and Venus Mercury in Aquarius: not exactly the picture of a reliable boyfriend, at least not to Venus in Virgo.
shell describes a similar match — I’m a Leo (with Aquarius rising), and he’s Aquarian, and while he does have that Aries moon, his sun, Mercury and Venus are in the 4th house (Cancer).
Aside from all that, his moon is trine Neptune and my Pisces moon is trine Mars.
This information has in part led me to believe that while opposites may attract, it might be just because they have more in common than they realized initially.
My husband and I share the same ascendant, with the same sign on each following houses. Though he is most definitely fire (Sun Aries/Moon Sag) and I air (Aquarius Sun) we have the same view on handling the different areas of life as represented by the houses. It just makes it so much easier when you aren’t arguing about priorities and have a shared sense of values.
LOL! Libra Sun/Moon here married to Aries Sun/Moon. However, like shell I have Scorpio Rising and like stability in my relationships and since he has Saturn opposing his Moon/Jupiter, that makes all the difference.
The best relationships I’ve had were with Libras. My Moon’s in Libra, and it was conjunct their Suns.
I’m married to a Capricorn, his Sun square my Moon, and his Moon is exactly conjunct my Leo Sun.
There’s something to that old belief in Sun/Moon synastry.
i don’t really care, as long as you’re interesting, know your own mind, and are open to different experiences/ideas….
so a bit of positive uranus/aquarius is helpful in my book (probably reflecting my moon or perhaps my saturn/uranus square- unwillingness to have my weirdness slammed _again_) but otherwise i’m not terribly picky.
my biggest pattern is pluto. probably because i’ve been projecting it too much and need to wear it myself. i think that might be part of what i find “interesting.” people who don’t own their own power disturb me. sometimes this includes myself.
Boring! I am attracted to those that fill that empty spot in my chart. It’s not a mirror version of me. Opposites attract or so the story goes…
I personally think harmony is important in healthy relationship. With that said, when I was dating, I always avoided Leo men, they really exasperated me! I tended to be attracted to Taurus, Aries and Libra men (I have Venus in Libra). What I noticed over several years is that I seemed to keep getting into the same kind of negative relationship, over and over. In looking more closely at the charts, a pattern emerged in that every single one of those relationships, the mans Saturn either conjuncted, squared or opposed my Venus square Moon. The shocking discovery was that I kept unconsciously attracting men, in an attempt to work-out, or re-live (etc.), a very negative family dynamic that I grew up in. Armed with this information, I forced myself to re-evaluate who I was attracted to, and dated. I had to accept that my otherwise excellent intuition was skewed when it came to men. It took about a year of conscious dating, by being open to men that I would never have considered dating before. Then I met my husband, a Leo sun, Libra rising, Cancer Moon, Venus, Mercury,Jupiter and no Saturn problems. I guess the karmic joke was on me, and yes we are exasperating to each other at times, which does challenge us to grow, however, with all the water signs we share, we nurture each other.
I have Libra too and while the idea of someone similar is very appealing to me, I tend to enjoy the opposite even more.
One thing you never hear much about is how a tightly aspected natal chart (or, in synastry, charts) can make for a real roller-coaster ride transit-wise, particularly for conjunctions, squares, and oppositions.
Two people with a few tight conjunctions in synastry are going to have a lot of coinciding transits: they’ll have good transits on the same day, but also bad transits on the same day.
Considering how important it is to be strong when your partner is weak, trines and sextiles might be the better way to go compared to conjunctions, because you’d have your good transits on the same days, but bad transits on different days from each other.
Moreover, I feel that squares/oppositions in synastry should be considered doubly harsh because they not only create natural tension between the charts, but amplify transit tensions: you get bad transits together, but not good transits together.
Well this post is timely as I’ve just met someone with whom I share all the outer planets placements as well as the Sun, Moon and Mercury. They’re not conjunct however.
I’m Libra rising and my husband has both Venus and his ascendant in Aries. Our moons are in opposition, mine in Gemini, his in Sagittarius. I like that he’s an Aquarius with personal planets in fire signs. We’re similar in some respects but his fiery temperment and solidity (Mars in Cancer, Jupiter in Cap) helps keep me grounded. I’ve dated people similar to me and it doesn’t work because I’m too cerebral when left to my own devices.
tried a Leo, didn’t work out after a while. tried a Capricorn; he ended up hating me for no reason. Haven’t tried a Sagittarius before, though. That could prove interesting if fear of confinement didn’t get in the way.
Opposite is fine though I’ve never been with an Aries I have a lot of Arian friends and we get along great,I have an Aries ASC and Sag Mars in e3asy aspect to my Sun, so that might help 🙂 Squares usually end up badly though I’m attracted usually for the worse.Trine/sextile seems to have worked out much better and much less contentiously 🙂 Conjunct..depends on the planet.Too many conjunctions to my Libra tends to feel like too much the same.Moon is a different story,I love when someones moon conjuncts mine.
People will similar charts will have similar weaknesses. I like those who have some similarities, but enough difference to make up for what I lack.
That said – I dislike squares. I don’t have many in my chart (none that don’t include things like ASC or North Node).
Jupiter and Venus squares I don’t really count though with squares.
But I think too many trines-sextiles stifles growth.
In my case we have exact opposite Ascendants/Decendants. My Moon conjuncts his Sun, his at the MC, mine at the IC.
We come together for a reason, if simply for that lovely balance. (I have Neptune in Libra.) As I sit and reflect on living with another “me”, hmm-m-m….bad idea.
7 house venus. I like the opposite, maybe with some elements in common, such as having a lot of fire like me.
I recently discovered something obvious about this topic. I should’ve noticed it, but it was maybe too obvious for me to see. I’m a cap asc, cancer sun, Virgo moon. I relate very well to Virgo suns, rising, or moon. If I like someone right away, they’ve got some significant Virgo. It might be a family thing, my sisters have either rising or sun, too. I have underestimated the significance of the 7th house when it comes to relationships with men. I have cancer on the 7th cusp with Venus, mercury and Saturn conjunct. Sun is at 29 cancer. I am 37 years old and every relationship I’ve had has been with Leo/sag sun men. It always starts out great & ends with me feeling as though I literally do not speak the same language as these men and I have been baffled. Baffled! I find them to be charming & attractive (Venus), witty conversationalists (mercury) who don’t seem to be familiar with Saturnian concepts (my chart ruler). What the hell is there that would keep me making the same dumb mistake? Over & over. It’s got to be my 7th house sun (anaretic!). I like fire. If there was fire within warming distance, I would find it & promptly get scorched. It’s taken me awhile to get to it but I have a point & I think it’s important: I haven’t gotten to know myself very well if I managed to neglect sun & Saturn. Two BIG things. I think the best thing to do is have a relationship with yourself; really know your own ‘stuff’ before you try to complement another’s. With a 7th house like mine, that’s supposed to be the lesson of my life & I’m getting there. Slowly 😉 What’s in your 7th? Where is it? It’s been my experience that balance starts with me. If Im not mindful of me, there won’t be any balance however, everyone is different & I hope an epiphany finds you, too 🙂
I think it really depends on a sign to sign basis. As a general rule I think the elements are very important and would try to look for good matches there (Fire and Air) vs (Fire and Water). Also the qualities and planets are very important.
When dating i find people similar to me boring, there is no magnetism. im driven by emotion, curiosity, surprise and i love figuring people out. Cap moons are drawn to me for some reason. As for friends im happy to be with people similar to me. Just one friend is enough.
Every relationship I’ve had has been based on at least one similarity. Usually the guys it seemed to take off with are air sun, water moon. My friendships also are based on similarity, moons that fall in my 7th house, people who can sit across a table from me and talk about their personal thoughts. For me, some similarity is important. I’ve noticed a cardinal and frustrating trait me trying to grind down people with opposing opinions and as a result focus in on what I don’t like. Usually it relates to some personal insecurity, i.e. one of my exes lorded it over me about being such an adult, but couldn’t even have the sense not to leave his damn laptop in the backseat overnight. I found it unmasculine to be so scattershot. Or my friend lately who… loves sandwiches and compact convenience foods and.. looks down on me for eating large portions of salad and rice and vegetables. It’s a Virgo thing and I love arguing about Virgo things. But, I think I’m more likely to try to grind someone down when I read their difference as a threat (i.e. “you think I’m so bad huh? well you’re not so great either.) I’ve thought about this topic and realized that similarities are very important to me, things we can talk about, points of reference we have. I want emotional rapport and the conversation to flow smoothly. If we’re both control freaks from an eastern culture, it doesn’t hurt. Thankfully I’ve found Maron who similarly reads difference as something he has to defend against. He plumbs the life of his interviewees for poor parenting because his Capricorn Moon wants to not be the only one. I don’t want to hang around people who are exactly like me, I guess, I’d never get a word in edgewise, but an insensitive, abstract, blunt person would be tough to deal with. I’d probably hate interviewing Vince Vaughn, too.