Is This Person A Better Friend Than Lover? Synastry

ping pongHi Elsa,

I was just wondering if you might be able to shed some light on a question about composites!

So I ran a synastry chart with someone and yes there is sexual attraction, then a composite and the relationship itself has Mars/Venus contacts, some moon and Pluto stuff too. But when I do the synastry between me and the composite, all that stuff doesn’t exist! Does this mean this person is meant to be a friend??

I seem to have this with most of me partners, exes! I usually like my partner to be a friend more than anything but it does mean that I’ve often not ended up having a hot and steamy sex life with them! A couple of my partners I’ve been really into sexually though but haven’t fulfilled me in any other way!

I’m so confused about it, should all these people have been friends?


Hi, Learning,

I’ll answer this the best I can, but I think differently than you do. I hope I don’t confuse you, further.

First, synastry shows how to people interact. The ping and the pong.
A composite chart shows how they exist as a couple.

For example, my husband and I have Mercury (with Mars-infused) opposing. So we argue or debate, constantly.

Our composite chart has a Cardinal grand cross. We’re a fortress when it comes to outsiders. So basically, if we’re fighting – back off! You won’t be able to penetrate.

It’s possible to compare my chart to our composite chart, but I am not sure what I could expect to glean from it.  I certainly would not expect to discern sexual attraction between myself and the chart of my relationship. The attraction is to the partner!

Looking at the composite chart, I might see a flowing relationship when I am personally rigid, or vice versa.  Beyond something general like this, I don’t think the technique of comparing natal charts to composite charts has much use.

The core of your question seems to be about friends and lovers and the mixing of the two. If this is a frequent theme in your relationships, I would look to the natal chart for insight.  Because if this is always happening to you, it has to do with you and will manifest with *whoever* over time.

Good luck!

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1 thought on “Is This Person A Better Friend Than Lover? Synastry”

  1. Perhaps rather than just focus only on the composite (the chart of the relationship), you might look at all the connexions between his and your chart. Look at how his Mars interacts with your Venus for a sexual relationship, his Moon and yours for emotions, etc. See where the connexion is and if it exists in the first place. The most important thing is to have connexions. If they are challenging, it suggests the relationship will call for a lof of compromise and effort for example. Obviously, if the aspects are easy, things will flow harmoniously. But if there are no or insignificant aspects between the chart, the relationship doesn’t actually have grounds to develop. It’s just not going to go anywhere because it has no reason to be.
    Just my little grain of salt. Much good luck and happiness to you.

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