What Is My Scorpio Man Up To?

Leo lion drawing

Dear Elsa,

I am dating a Scorpio man who is ten years my senior (he is 53). We have had a good relationship for the past 5 months – it has been loving, intense sexually, and there have been moments I feel as if I am falling in love with him. My friends have all noticed how happy I have been, until recently.

We often joke around with each other, but in the past week his jokes have taken another tone, and have gone from harmless to harmful. We’ve been talking and he claims that they were just jokes and he would never intentionally try to hurt or belittle me.

It’s disturbing to me because it appears as if he doesn’t remember or want to take responsibility for what he says. He seems genuinely stunned when I call him on his less-than-lighthearted jokes and even questioned me as to why I’d want to be with someone who would intentionally hurt me.

I think he is a genuine person, but I’m extremely confused about his recent behavior.

Leo in New York
United States

Dear Leo,

It is impossible for me to know for sure what is going on here. Your man may be pulling away from you or playing some Scorpio “torture” games but it does not necessarily seem this is the case to me.

His question, “Why would you want to be with someone who would intentionally hurt you?” is a good one and it may very well be genuine. I know I would ask the same thing if I meant no harm and someone I was dating claimed I was hurting them but continuing to date me. He is essentially challenging you to look at your own behavior, which is actually a good idea.

A good idea but potentially disturbing and so you feel disturbed and I don’t blame you but look here:

Leo Sun aside, you have Mercury conjunct Pluto in the twelfth house and it is a safe bet that you go deeper than you think you do. You have the Black Moon Liltith conjunct your Moon as well (think dark feminine) and I think this guy may be tapping into parts of you that you are divorced or disconnected from, which is a Scorpio forte.

His bafflement over this situation might also be real because I don’t care what they say, a lot of what Scorpio does is unconscious so I hope you get the gist of this.

You can certainly run and if you don’t meet another Scorpio, then all good. But if you do continue to attract this challenging energy then it might be a clue you explore your darker thoughts and feelings and for the record, astrology suggests this is the direction in which you are headed.

Good luck.

5 thoughts on “What Is My Scorpio Man Up To?”

  1. I think he is testing you as Elsa suggests. It is a method we Scorps sometimes have of getting you to be the best you that you can be. A sampling…’Is this chick cooking on all her cylinders?’ ..as it were.

    He wants to know that you are a strong woman and exactly where your boundaries are. He’s plotting the landscape of who you are. Now is the time to tell it like it is, or be wrongly categorized.

    Marshmellow or Capable of Self Protection?

  2. I’m not a Scorpio, but I do have Pluto rising, and sun square Pluto, so here is my opinion. I have been called out lately for saying hurtful things to my boyfriend, sister and father. I was completely shocked, because I didn’t mean to be a dick – I thought I was being funny. Like your boyfriend, I was “genuinely stunned” when I was called out. He may not be testing you – maybe just not aware of the effect of his words, but I guess now he is, and maybe he’ll think before speaking. That is what I plan to do.

  3. Hi there,

    I think that as the relationship deepens for you, it sounds like you are a bit more sensitive to things than before you were falling in love. As a fellow leo, I know that my sensitivity meter increases five fold after I fall for someone and every little slight takes on the grossest meaning. I become very sentimental in love and feel really exposed even if I don’t show it. And so even in joking if it goes ‘too far’ and offends my raw self (no matter how silly), I am devastated. I then realize it was not meant to be mean and remember that leo pride is such a big part of being leo. And I have a sense of humor, but if it offends ‘my person’…it’s a hard nut to swallow.

    I don’t know that this is what is happening with you or if it is really him being difficult. I just thought I would share my experience (and last night my sensitivity meter went sky high …).

    leo stellium

  4. As a Scorpio Man married to a Leo women for over nine (9) years, here is my take. A Scorpio man knows how Leo women love to be the center of attraction from other men. A Scorpio man is just trying to test you and bring you down to a reasonable level. He is wondering if you are real or just pretending. The Scorpio male will help his Leo women always but, keep in mind these guys are intense when it comes to emotional relationships. Don’t play with the Scorpio’s mind and you will do just fine.

  5. thanks for that comment david becuz I am a leo woman who really likes this scorpio man but i wasnt sure if we would last. After reading ur comment, put me at ease…

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