“How do you form deep friendships in your later years? You don’t have time on your side, and it can be difficult to meet people. Let me know when you find the answer, Elsa.”
– Margaret on Losing Friends & Lack Of Trust
I said I’d follow up on this. I waited to see if anything new occurred to me. It hasn’t. I think it’s because I have this nut cracked.
I doubt one-size-fits-all with this but it’s the angle or the train of thought that may liberate you so I’ll share it.
I am in a situation where it is entirely feasible I lose 80% of my close friends, literally overnight and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it. Setting aside the emotion, in a normal process, I ask myself, just exactly what I am going to do? How can I deal with this? Can I deal with it? Will I have no choice but to shrivel up and die? Will that be just as well?
This is doom thinking, of course. A sign of the times. But it really is harsh out there, in most every way. People have isolated themselves. No one wants to “come out and play”, so to speak. Can this be overcome?
The media tells me, no. Culture tells me, no. We’re living in a Saturn in Pisces, cloud of despair. We’re victimized in ways we can’t even fathom. People are scared! What if this? What if that? Have some platitudes, why doncha? Take some supplements!
Is this doom real? I decided to use astrology; along with my life experience to determine this. How would a person like me, find a friend?
The best answer I could come up with, is the same way I always find a friend! I started looking at my history. How did I find these great friends in the first place? When I viewed it this way, I got near instant clarity.
I recalled having this same fear, in my 20’s. I wrote about it in my book. I was moving to a small town, talking to my friend, Ben, who I still know today, “Will I find any friends?” It turns out, wherever you go, there are always people you run into. God does this, I think.
I landed in this little town; wound up meeting this dude who also just moved there. We were both out of place and had both watched, Arlo Guthrie, on PBS the night before. See, we were talking about trying to adapt to the “one-dot” down, which is how it was marked on a map. I told him I was determined and I started singing this song:
“Inch by inch, row by row,
Gonna make this garden grow…”
He joined in! Can you believe that? He started singing with me. “You were watching, PBS, last night, too, I see.”
Next thing you know, we were riding in a cab in Vegas, telling the driver, he had, 1/3 of a town, in his cab! It was hilarious!
So I looked at that. I have Uranus in my 7th house. I make friends, instantly.
When I met, Ben, he circled me. He literally, examined my person; evaluating me, 360 degrees. How am I not going to be friends with someone like this? That’s my kind of freak!
Point is, for me, there is CHEMISTRY. And while I have not made a close, lasting friend in about eight years, it’s because of the pressure I am under (that no one is aware of). My dance card is full and I can’t talk about it.
When I realized this, I was reassured, when I had the mind and emotional space, I’m sure I’ll hit it off with someone. Why wouldn’t I?
Life experience is real. There is a lot of fog right now. If you have to lie on your belly to see beneath it, then do it. It’s better than breathing the gaseous fumes of negativity, and being undone by them.
The picture is of Ben and I, working as servers, on Western Week or some such thing. His hand is not actually on my breast. We used to smoke, lol.
What do others think?
Of all the means which are procured by wisdom to ensure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends. (Epicurus, Principal Doctrines 27).
https://daily-philosophy.com/epicurus-on-friendship/
Making true friends has been critical in my life. Swapping bad friends to true friends is a manifestation of christian freedom and karma purification. Its not about them but about our soul contentment. So difficult though. We can not be too demanding nor too loose. True friends come when we find happiness inside.
I had to let go of my car this morning. I’ve had it 25 years. I called her the beauty. She was good to me.
Oh Alice, I know how you must feel. Our Subaru (20 years old) is family!
Thanks for sharing that with me
But sometimes Uranus in the 7th house signals quick endings of relationships..
It’s true. And I have this experience as well.
What I am saying here, is every important friendship / relationship, came from our of nowhere. I have Jupiter aspecting Uranus and I just feel, God, sends what I need.
This is me, speaking personally, about me. What I am trying to suggest here, is a person not get lost in the manufactured, false, negative paradigm.
Also, I understand this is not for everyone, but I said, I thought I had it. Margaret asked me to share. I said I would so I’m following through.
I have no idea where in my brain I manufactured this idea, but I’ve pictured Ben as a black man for all the years I’ve read your blog. Guess not.
He’s half black.
His mother was 100% black, his father 100% white. This was a big deal, in his era.
He looks how he looks. His sister looks 100% black. You would never think they were related.
I love that picture.
Thank you. It was a fun era. Also, we had both had our teeth kicked down our throat. We were suffering on steroids… right up until the day we met.
And that is what, God, does!
I am trying to let go and let God. I think it may be working.
i will never again chase friendships, or force them into existence. I’m going Costanza on this and doing the opposite of everything i have ever done. Beacuse it mostly brought me fake lukewarm friendships. Im gonna be totally honest, get angry quickly and ask for favors immediately if i need one. My social views have gone from nice, progressive ones to ….harsh. And im not hiding it. I dont have time for politeness and wokeness, cause my life could be in my friends hands one day.
Pluto in Cap definitely removed many that I loved from my life, especially as it went over my ascendant. Husband, father, many friends, and now one of my best friends is leaving soon. I also lost friends and family due to their “fear beliefs” around… all things Covid. I decided that isolation was the last thing I needed, got a small RV and have been traveling with my 15 year old dog. I’m making friends everywhere and having fun. There are indeed benefits to all of this. Will any of these people be “real” friends that end up in my close circle? Who knows! I’ll just show up and let God do his work as well.
I’m an Aquarius sun… and I definitely don’t conform.. 😊