MARS! Is Your Anger Overt Or Hidden?

mars bottle capWhen I think of Mars, I think of raw male energy. I like Mars. For example, I married an alpha male. I love a hero and I respect a person who can lead.

I written about Mars from many angles over the years. This energy is best expressed in an upfront manner. If you let it back up on you, you risk blowing your top at the worst possible moment.  With Mars in Libra, I’d know!

Mars turned in on itself generally manifests as depression.  If you want to read about any other this stuff, search the blog, there is a lot of it. I know I’ve made this hard, taking the search off the page, at least for now.  But if you type in the url, “Mars whatever elsaelsa”, you’ll get a lot of results.

I’m posting today because recently, I encountered two women who were 180 degrees apart.  One of them could readily kill a man. She stated this, plainly. She has to cope with internal rage… wrath, like anger that shoots out, fire-hose-fashion. Think about that. It’s heroic, she keeps this in check!

The other gal is just angry but has no idea. I call this the “unconscious Mars”, which is a term supplied by astrologer, CF Perez, in a conversation we had, a dozen years ago.

Passive Aggressive: The Unconscious Mars

On the surface, the first woman is scary. I am sure she scares the hell out of people but at least she doesn’t wears sheep’s clothes!  You go in and you’re sitting next to a hothead. You’re never led to believe otherwise. This is refreshing. There are many ways to be extreme and this is one of them.

Now the other gal does scare me. I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up; every bell in my body goes off and screams in unison – THREAT!

It’s a phenomena. The voice says, “Apple pie”, softly, but the energy says, “Cut a bitch!”

Seriously, it’s like the gal in the movie, The Exorcist.  But I don’t think she knows!

Have you met one or both of these extreme types?  Or maybe you see yourself? What do you know about Mars and anger?


31 thoughts on “MARS! Is Your Anger Overt Or Hidden?”

  1. My boss is the last type.

    I got anxiety because of it.

    So now I quit my job, I simply had enough of the passive aggressive manner of hers.

    She doesn’t know her anger but I will not stay and become sick, slow but surely, of all her hidden anger.

  2. If you come from the South, or the Midwest in the United States. You’ll sometimes hear, “Bless your heart,” and “Your beautiful,” a lot.

    Sometimes those two comments hold a seething, passive aggressive energy about them! Because the person saying it means it in a demeaning and negative way!

    1. Avatar

      We have the same in Australia with the ubiquitous term “mate” used among the whole range of relationships from family and close friends to complete strangers.

      It means “friend” and usually it’s a very genuine token of goodwill but it can totally be used in the most condescending way!

  3. I’ve been learning to express my anger more overtly in my day-to-day life so that it doesn’t come out at the wrong time. I’d rather be an asshole to someone in public who rubs me the wrong way, for instance, than my parents or friends. It’s definitely helped. I’m also exploring silence as a method of anger expression. Don’t respond to someone when a response would normally be expected and that can speak volumes, without you having to blow your top.

  4. Ha ha – spot on as always, Elsa!
    I have Mars in Virgo, 12 House.
    I used to be a hot head as a kid and I never thought my anger was a problem (it was always fleeting, if intense), until adults in my life started telling me (in a non verbal way) that my anger was wrong. So when I got angry, as an older kid, they’d laugh at me, or ignore me, ridicule me, until I learned to squash my anger. I wanted their love. Recently I’ve been trying to be more authentic with my anger and show it more. It’s almost impossible as I’m so worried people will think I’m a freak. But I’m persevering. BTW sometimes I want to express my anger by telling people who piss me off, how I really feel, rather than going into a rage. It’s still hard tho. I’m scared of rejection.

    1. Kate – how about writing (Virgo) out your anger (Mars) in an e-mail then immediately delete it? No one would be the wiser (12H).

      1. Hi Jayne
        That’s a good idea – I’ll try it out.
        Another layer to my anger suppression is that I’m English and it’s considered unseemly to show too much emotion including anger in this country. Any strong emotions and people think your unhinged (unless you’re expressing emotions for horses/dogs – then it’s acceptable!) ?

  5. I have Mars in Libra too, but its in the 1st House. That house placement really doesn’t allow you to hide your anger, so out it comes. It takes a lot to get me to that point, but if you do, I’ll let you have it.

    1. I love being around people with Aries Moons. Aries Suns too. My family on my dads side has a lot of Aries Moons. My dad has one as well and we get along so well. Capricorn Moons run on my Moms side.. they don’t understand the Aries fire…they can be defensive to it. But they have taught me the most. I’m grateful for these lessons. Oh and my husband has a Cap Moon.

  6. I have Mars in Aries, H8. It trines Sag Uranus /Jupiter, H4 and my Asc in Leo. I can get very, very angry, but as soon as it’s expressed it goes away. I don’t hold onto many grudges or much resentment for this reason. But if for some reason or another, I can’t get it out, I will eventually harbor resentment.

    I do think you can see it on my face when I’m angry- I do have that really unlikable resting bitch face when I’m angry about something and can’t express it. But I’m telling you my anger, when it does get an outlet, is fast, over as fast as it came. I have recently been learning how to express it before it comes out like a volcano. It’s not a mean anger when I address it straight away. But I don’t mean to sound as that’s all I do is get angry, as if it’s my whole personality or something, but it happens to everyone. The way I can be expressing anger, (usually just mild normal anger…) one minute, and loving you and smiling and feeling good as ever the next minute is especially the way my Mars operates. My husbands used to it and maybe even kinda likes it now. ☺️

    I’m happiest when I can let out anger.

  7. I’ve turned the anger on myself for decades, with Mars conjunction Saturn and Pluto in Leo. Depression and chronic illness have been a longtime internal battle,
    Age and expressing the internal rage through storytelling & deep conversation with my Ancestors has drawn the anger up and out ! Volcanoes are beautiful expression for making new land in my culture;it’s just taken me most of my life to make those connections.
    As a kid my father’s anger was fed on alcohol when he wasn’t depressed. Fleeing the scene didn’t help, but it has helped to see how that pattern is my default. Change can be a long time coming. Saturn rules my natal chart, long timer must be what keeps me showing up.
    My writing reaches into that volcano to help get angry! My Progressed sun in Aquarius helps remember to tell it like it is and not shrink from disapproval or no response.

  8. Im a 28 degree Pices with mars, Venus and mercury in Aries. Talk about passive aggressive! My life’s work is about integrating these energies so I can be at peace with myself!

  9. Mars in Leo here. I grew up with parents who exploded at the slightest thing going wrong. I explode around my mother, but nobody else because I restrain the hell out of myself. I stifle, stifle, stifle because expressing my rage never, ever, ever did me a lick of good and only makes problems worse. Never, ever has it worked for me to say how mad I am at you. I might as well throw Molotov cocktails around for all the good it does. Anger is useless to me.

  10. Avatar
    the laughing goat

    Here in MN and there’s a advertising slogan –
    “Minnesota Nice”.

    People who live here know the true meaning is “Minnesota Passive Aggressive” – kind to your face but once you leave the room…

    1. Avatar

      I wholly and completely disagree. Midwest is a contextual language. Just like japanese. People are communicating clearly just within the social context. Coming out with a very direct statement is considered rude, overly agressive, and damaging to the community fabric. You need to read it in context and that context is often highly complex and layered. When the person becomes direct with you they are very upset and usually confused that you did not get the message the fist 3 or 5 times they tried to gently say the thing and are likely in half a meltdown by being placed in the position of having to say something so very directly because it has already been said multiple times before. Once people start to look for the contextual reading of information the midwest is a much easier place.

  11. I haven’t met any of these two extremes, that I know of.
    But the unconscious Mars you mention makes me think of a friend whose Mars is in Cap, but has only one aspect: square Neptune. Could it be that she doesn’t realize that she’s sometimes disagreable, always correcting people? She thinks and says it’s for their own good, but I think she gets a kick out of criticising while thinking she’s being “nice”. And it never lets up! (Yeah, Cap Mars! Persistent!)
    As for my Mars, have the double whammo – in Libra in 12th. I try to not espress anger, but every once in a while it backfires & blows up in my face, making me feel like a stupi a-hole.
    My mother was an unpredictable exploser, I didn’t like that. I think part of me is trying to not be like her.
    But the pent up anger does cause stress and depression, very bad for self-esteem. I don’t think doormats can be happy.

  12. My Mars in Aries is opposed by Neptune in Libra. I am deathly afraid of manifesting unconscious anger. Astrologically that is what that aspect says to me. I try hard to recognize anger when I feel it and to stay in the experience rather than react. I have trained myself to curb sarcasm and criticism and to just be quiet if I can’t speak sincerely. There is the desire to be honest and direct! and then there’s the fear of hurting people with a sharp comment. It is a struggle!!

  13. I really identify with both having my Leo Mars conjunct(middle) Venus (be nice) and Uranus (blow my top!) in the 6th house. Needless to say it’s usually work that frustrates me but I can work it off at the gym quite well. Haha. Staying angry was my excuse to eat and drink in an unhealthy way. I’ve learned to calm down a lot! Pets/ gardening help to defuse too.

  14. I’m curious about people with mars retrograde. How does one go about doing something or releasing pent-up emotions/anger? Do you see a difference between your mars rx in a sign and another person who has the same mars sign but direct?

  15. I am very upset and disillusion today and yes, angry. A big tornado came within a few miles of my house last night and my town was hit badly in 2011. I am from the west coast and I was scared out of my freaking mind. I had a major panic attack. I was asking for good thoughts and prayers on Facebook.

    How many people responded??? Five. FIVE of the 85 friends that I supposedly have on Facebook.

    Too many people just don’t give a crap anymore. I just posted something this morning, basically said “those of you who think I overreacted to the tornado watch, and I am certain there are some, I’ll gladly trade places with you next time.”

    I grew up very close to the West Coast. People out there think California is the only state that exists and the only place that matters. ?

  16. Mars in Aquarius 1H conjunct Sun, here. I had a mom who was okay expressing anger, so I am too. Got lucky there. Social conditioning supports that women get sad and cry rather than (god forbid) get angry. Even though I was allowed to express anger in my family of origin, it wasn’t until the first time I put on gloves and hit a heavy bag that I realized I had repressed anger. I fully recommend it to women who may be holding anger—because it’s acceptable to beat the sh*t out of a heavy bag ? I am 57 and still enjoy it :).

    Weird side note, I forget that I’m mad at someone. I see them and respond so favorably and chat away—only later to remember “Dammit! I’m mad at them because they were so awful last time I saw them!” I seriously totally forget! It’s no wonder they keep being nasty at regular intervals—there are no consequences with me. Anyone else have this? What the hell is it? Why don’t I remember or at least have a visceral undercurrent of wariness?

  17. Your post is so interesting. I feel as though I could have written it myself cuz I really relate to it. I will be nice to people even after they’ve been mean to me and I take it and take it and finally what I end up doing is just ghosting them and dropping the relationship or friendship because pretty much you know that if it’s an ongoing thing they’re not going to change and not going to like being challenged, however diplomatically.

    You are fortunate that you were allowed to express anger. I was not, although I was told that I could say what I believed but it was still wrong. Yy parents thought they were so cool and very liberated to allow me to speak but they would still make sure to gaslight me. I know that this is part of the reason I have a lot of anger issues and I think it’s worth looking into working with a punching bag!

  18. Hey Elsa! Definitely relate to this post. I have Cancer Mars in the 12th (I know). Anger is.. REALLY hard for me to authentically express. Like, really, really hard. I don’t like expressing it and when I do, it comes out as tears, passive aggression, manipulation, or just the silent treatment. I never saw anger represented in a healthy way growing up – my Mom was either completely silent/repressive or volatile, and my Dad was just plain volatile and highly triggered; you never knew what would set him off, but when it did, you better take cover. Now I’m learning to channel my anger constructively, but it is challenging. I find physical activity helps a LOT for me. I don’t like feeling angry mostly because I’m scared to do something with it when I do.

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