Mutual Delusion In Love

It’s common you hear of someone infatuated with another person who is less (or not at all) interested in them.  Sometimes people marry in this kind of scenario. One of the partners may have the other dreamed up or they may have irrational ideas around what the partnership’s real basis is.  You rarely hear of people who both delude themselves to be in a relationship or marriage but I don’t think this is necessarily because it’s uncommon.

A woman may convince herself she loves a man because she wants to get away from her parents. If she’s older, it may be the ticking baby-clock that drives her, or it may be the fact all her friends are marrying and she feels pressured.  On the man’s side he may also feel pressured as he ages and both sexes can marry on the rebound as a way to escape pain.

When this does occur the results are varied. It’s one hell of a start to a (love) story and I wonder if anyone has had this experience or witnessed it.

As for the astrology, I don’t think it can be narrowed down to just “Neptune” though delusion is the major component.

Have you ever married or known someone who has married in mutual delusion with each other?  How did it turn out?

12 thoughts on “Mutual Delusion In Love”

  1. I’m seeing it first-hand in a very good friend. Both are Neptunian types with a strong fire emphasis; both were on the rebound from long relationships; they were married last summer. Recent events have forced the veil to drop; if they can’t recover at least some of their mutual delusion it is going to be painful for them both.
    Very hard to watch for someone who genuinely cares. 🙁

  2. Yes I do and it turned out not so good. I think besides neptune there is jupiter. Always believing when common sense tells you not to.

  3. i think there’s always some degree of delusion on both sides. projection is quite easy, and you can know someone really really well and still not understand them. i think the trick becomes… how well you can adjust to the veil dropping, and one’s willingness to work with it when it does.

    i also venus/neptune…

  4. Cap Venus conjuct Neptune I am not sure.. If I thought about it, I am either seriously (cap) delusional in love or my delusions aren’t taken too seriously.. not sure tho..

  5. This is a fascinating topic. I’ve always wondered about this. Especially when people marry fast. Especially when they’re still young. (20’s) What’s the goal? Shared income, buying a house, status, a willingness to be a grown-up. I’m guessing the veil drops when you discover your aging, and your kids aren’t as cuddly anymore. And having another baby won’t fix what’s broken.

    I’m speculating. None of that has happened to me. I’ve watched one too many talk shows.

    I knew a girl who married, because he loved HER. That’s how she decided. When she got pregnant, it was all fulfilling the fantasy of being married, and starting a family. Divorced a few years later.

  6. yeah it happened to me. i think we both saw something that wasnt there. luckily whenever the veil drops we still care a lot about eachother enough to work things out. dunno wwt the ending will be. we have been together for almost four yrs now and had a baby. lots of neptune in both our charts. ive had the best and worst times of my life with him.

  7. I think this describes my parents. They met while he was visiting her city. Married three months later after dating long distance. They’ve been together 39 years. I hate saying this, but I always thought they fought to keep the veil/delusion up. Have you seen that? They are compatible in many ways, but my entire life, they have seemed to be this close to combustion.

  8. Avatar

    I guess on some level I see this as a matter of what expectations you bring to the table and how those expectations are or are not met – writ large.

    It’s hard not to have *some* expectations, be it a cultural or personal “storyline” that you’re expecting from a relationship or hopes based upon past mistakes. Whether or not those expectations are realistic probably depends upon your culture and personal history.

    I also wonder how this neptune unreality and veil dropping works in arranged marriages? Still very common for a number of people around the world. What do you rely upon when the veil drops? How do you cope? What other resources are a part of your life that either help you keep the veil up or allow you to re-write expectations and life choices when it drops?

    On some level this reminds me of a couple I knew that said point blank “I’d rather be miserable and married than single and happy” EACH of them, separately to me within a month or so of eachother. They were NOT happy together but had such a strong need not to be alone. (mind boggling to a hermit type such as myself)

  9. I married on the rebound and made no secret of it, and I did it because he loved me so. I needed desperately to be loved, at that time, and convinced myself I could make it work. My husband had never been in love before and he was 45 when we met. I don’t think he saw me very clearly. I always kept the veil up – it was necessary; even so after 6 years it all fell apart

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