My Criminal Mind

MarsWhen something comes up three times in a week, it usually warrants writing about and in this case, it’s my criminal mind. I have one, I absolutely do and I mentioned this to another astrologer a few days ago.

He seemed surprised or something because he made me repeat myself.

“You say you have a criminal mind?”

“Well, yes. How could I not?” I answered.

I couldn’t tell if he was surprised I had a criminal mind, or that I was actually copping to it but in whatever case, I discussed this with him briefly and that was that.

I’ve written about this extensively, so I didn’t think about the conversation after I had it until a few days later when the AMF brought the same thing up. I had tricked him for about a week and he was sort of pissed off when he found out.

See, I had gotten this steroid shot in my back (hip) and he sometimes slaps my ass. So when he did this, I yelped and acted like it hurt me, “My shot! Ow! Ow! That’s my shot!” I shouted. And of course he got all discombobulated. “Oh Bean! Did I hurt you? Sorry, honey, are you okay?”

“I’m okay. But Jesus! Don’t be hitting my shot!” I said.

Now actually the slap had no effect at all, but fuck him. I figure he shouldn’t be slapping me anyway, so it serves him right. Plus he’s always claims to be waaaaay smarter than me so you can see this why this is irresistible.

So anyway, this goes on for a few days. Or a week. Because his patting is a habit. So he keeps doing it and I keep yelping and he keeps getting distraught.

And then one night he pushed me or something. He has that Aquarius and I think he was pushing me away on the bed to get himself some space. But anyway, he pushed my shoulder and I yelped. “My shot! Ow! That’s my shot, for godsakes!” And I started laughing of course. Like the banshee I am as I watched the realization come to his face. And then a couple nights ago, this came up.

“The look on your face. It’s…it’s priceless. When I’m found out,” I said.

“Well, yeah. That’s your criminal mind,” he said. “You’re a total criminal and I’m not. I’m a nice guy and it’s not easy for someone like me to be around a criminal like you.”

And I was so surprised at that. But then I remembered the day we met. I just wrote about it. He was there early. He’s a Scorpio and he’s a man. But I was there waaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier, because I’m a criminal.

But then came the clincher. What made me write this.

I was talking to Scott today about the immigration issue. Scott is a super-liberal, I don’t think he’d mind me telling you. He also has terrific guilt. His guilt is legendary and some of it centers on me. Because Scott has always enjoyed a sort of material security and I am from the other side of the tracks.

He is also a total UN-bigot. He actually feels anyone who is racist has a psychological problem. “They had to have been brainwashed, or something, because there is no logic to it at all.” And I agree with him, but back to today’s conversation:

“Invariably when you see someone waiting for the bus, or walking they are African or Latino,” he said. “It never changes.”

“Yeah I know. That reminds me of a story.”


“Back when I didn’t have a car…when I was looking for a job, when I was kid? I would always have a car. I was trying to be a waitress and on the way in to interview, I would be sure to memorize a car in the parking lot. Then if they asked, do you have a car, I’d say, yes. And I’d point to one, through the window of the restaurant. That’s my car right there. Because come on. They aren’t going to hire me if I don’t have a car. They’ll think I won’t make it to work. But you know I never missed work, so what the fuck. Do I want a job, or not?”

He explained most people wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t think of it. He said a few things, but while he was talking all I could think was there goes my criminal mind…

So I know where I got it. I was raised by a criminal!

But then I thought of the astrology. Where does this show up in my chart? Because it would have to be there. And it would have to be Mercury….it rules the mind.

And sure enough, it fits. I have Mars conjunct Mercury and I would say this is the Scorpio side of Mars. It’s some sneaky shit.

But the conjunction is in the 9th house (Sagittarius) so I broadcast it. I tell the truth about my criminal mind! I will testify!

So what about you? Are you a criminal? Or an innocent?

criminal mind – take two…

14 thoughts on “My Criminal Mind”

  1. Well… I have Mars/Merc conjunct too… but in the 8th house (secrets), so, damn if I’m gonna tell you!! 😛 😀

  2. Astrologically speaking, I don’t know — I know enough to know that I’m a Capricorn Sun and Moon…so I guess if I’m going to be a criminal, I’m going to be the freakin’ Mafiosia of criminality. 😉
    I’m probably a bit of both. *Grins*
    But I’ll tell you what, I’d be happy to send my birth info and you can tell me!

  3. I don’t… my mercury is in relaxed pisces, squaring neptune, sextile venus, trine uranus , opposed by saturn, it doesn’t enjoy looking at the world without it’s pink coulored glasses, hurts the eye. hehe
    sounds fun though, maybe because I also have alot of scorpio energy on other parts of the chart.

  4. Hey,

    That Mars stuff is all about being able to focus long enough to get a shot accross the horizon line at whatever bugger is running accross that attention line. When the two Mars’ are square, each one is hitting a different target, then blaming the other for being “on the wrong one,” and cannot move a couch together at all. The one to try for is the Venus conjoined Mars. Then, when you move the couch you can also lay in it together.

  5. Nope, I’ve got a square going on there. I like when you post things like this though. It sends me running to look at everyone’s charts! 😀

  6. very innocent here – much libra in the 12 th house – but with the scorpio rising and an aries BML on the NN – I’m finding myself drawn to some criminal types every once and awhile …..

  7. When I was a teen, my mom always told me that if I went somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, or if I told an untruth, THAT’S when I would have a flat or get caught somehow. It happened every stinking time and there were only a few times I even pushed the limits a little. I’m a terrible liar and can’t even pull off a decent practical joke without recruiting someone else to lie for me.

    I always attributed this to my mother’s curse but now that you mention it Mercury and Mars are squared in the 7th and 10th. So of course I’m going to get caught and everyone is going to know.

    On the other hand, I’ve got enough Scorpio that I can lay low or fly around cloaked or whatever. I can observe as long as I’m not trying to deceive.

  8. I’m criminal, but not a clever one…I do something stupid and then have to go criminal to cover it up.

  9. mars in third house scorpio… I used to ‘case every joint’ we walked into starting as far back as I can remember. I remember this one gift shop in a lodge in the canadian backwoods… but I’ve never stolen anything.

  10. I have Mercury conjunct Mars in the 9th house (Sagittarius). Does it matter which is conjunct which? (hope that’s not a silly question)

  11. i have mars in scorp sextile merc. at times, my communications seem to blast people, much more than i’d intended and there can be an intensity about ’em, a forcefulness that people aren’t always prepared for…

  12. my mercury, in virgo, in the 7th house, has 7 aspects… the only thing in my chart with more is my sun… no wonder I can never make up my mind…

  13. a criminal mind has to be cultivated.

    a good technique is to get into the habit of asking yourself what would a criminal do in this or a similar situation.

    does this situation open up an opportunity to lie steal and/or cheat, if not then it is time to move on to other potential opportunities.

    another question to ask is, is the potential victim easy prey, what are their vulnerbilities and weaknesses, what do they fear, can they be manipulated.

    wow, after writing the above I think I had better ask, what would jesus do.

    criminal minds come in two types, first the criminal and his mind and the other type is the criminal mind of a cop who trains himself to think like a criminal and who better pray he does not become one.

    anyway, hi elsa

  14. I don’t think I have a criminal mind, as such. I just like to mess with other people’s minds. It’s so easy, and so much fun. You have to be careful, of course, so I tend to go for really subtle stuff, stuff that most people wouldn’t actively think that I’d consider, so they don’t realize it’s not just coincidence. Like planning what I’m wearing in such a way as to throw them off, just a bit. Just enough to be unsettling. It’s fun.

    On the other hand, my mom’s biggest problem with me has always been that I’m “manipulative.” Personally I think being able to gauge a potential reaction and adjust accordingly is a valuable survival skill. That’s how I do so well in school – figure out what the prof wants, and then deliver. There are brilliant people out there who’ve never figured that one out.

    I’ve got Moon conj Merc in Cancer in the 12th, trine Pluto & opposition Neptune, so it’s all with my gut too. Soon as I try to put stuff like this into words, it vanishes and I’m totally lost.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top