Regarding the piece on Love and War, Humbling etc, comments left by Jessica and Deirdre make it clear to me that I was understood and I am very grateful. Yesterday I told this story to a pal and asked her if it translated because damned if I could tell. She said it did so it’s very heartening to see people get this. I am just in it so deep I’ve no perspective. And so many things compete for my energy and attention it’s not possible to try to remedy that. There are just too many pots on the stove!
I think this is a hallmark of the outer planet transits. So much goes on it’s virtually impossible to process in real time. I’ve said many times I think it takes 10 years to process the life changing events that occur when outer planets transit your chart but that is probably optimistic. Because here I am fathoming my relationship with the soldier, 30 years after the fact and just barely “getting it”. This is humbling.
Also, although many things have happened during this Pluto transit to my Moon, obviously losing my daughter is far and away the most profound. And I am in the middle of this too. It’s in my face every day, it has been for 5 years and I still have very little understanding. I just don’t (can’t) comprehend an event of this magnitude in the near term so I don’t even try.
You’ve just got to live, don’t ya?
I think that awareness of ‘processing’ is something that is done when all the obvious stuff has been dealt with and sorted out. It’s like washing the dishes when the kids have gone to bed. The kids are the immediate and most obvious circumstance that needs to be dealt with. The washing up can be put on the back burner, so can everything else. I have realized that processing still goes on in the background, like your favourite CD playing quietly in the other room. The awareness maybe hits when the last dish has been put away in the cupboard.
things this profound just keep churning, in my experience. there’s reasons why those planets move so slowly….
Pluto’s been on my saturn/moon for over 3 years. Next year, I still have maybe 4 months of the separating opposition to the moon. I don’t really have any words to describe how it’s been. Hardest, most terrifying and plain difficult time I’ve ever experienced. I’m not a sissy either. I could see how this tranist could completely break a person–all levels have been affected. I try totake things day at a time. The Saturn/Leo time fed into it big time and the eclipses in my 6th, too (they’re almost done). If you took all the hard stuff in my life and piled it into a heap, it wouldn’t equal these last 3 years. Enough said. I hope I can find hope and peace somehow again.