Is Everyone We Attract A Reflection Of Ourselves?

attractionAlma writes on Is Dating The Same Sign Over and Over Healthy Or A Form Of Repetition Compulsion?

“Do you think that we draw people who have the same sort of energy or issues we have. For instance, I’m not completely fulfilled in my job, and I always date men who are still struggling to find themselves career-wise. Will I only attract someone with a particular trait until I possess that trait myself?”

Alma, you hear this all the time and but I am not convinced this is a hard and fast rule. I think it is far more complicated but this whole idea of “attraction” is huge so I wonder what others think…


31 thoughts on “Is Everyone We Attract A Reflection Of Ourselves?”

  1. My impression is I attract the other. I am a Pisces with North Node in Virgo. I think in one of my last lives, say in some kind of a religious brothel, I was with multi-partnering lazy sweet secretive Pisces guys. In this life, I attract/subconsciously go for corporate power, alpha dogs with lots of Virgo in their charts and ties around their necks. In this life I had a Pisces boyfriend once, when transiting Neptune was on my ascendant. At that time I felt we were dolphins. Once that transit was over the the beautiful fog lifted, I went back to neck ties and tidy types.

  2. if alikes attract then its very probably not the right person.

    ofcourse there is no such thing as a quick answer on this, but i believe you need someone who actually ‘compensates’ your personality. i think most succesful marriages are opposites

  3. Yes. How could they not pick that up?

    That said, 95% of the people that are attracted to me, I am not remotely attracted to. Maybe it’s massive self-hatred? Or that I’m a nerd, but am not attracted to my own kind?

  4. Personally, I have tended to go for Cancers, Libras, and Aquarians (Aquarian, myself) Usually, though, these people are much different than me. Opposites attract in my case.

  5. I think what’s actually going on is we filter out attraction signals… the types we’re receptive to, we hear more loudly than the types we don’t like as much. (And people who make themselves loud and clear whatever type they are, are easily dismissed as obnoxious if you aren’t interested in them.)

    And we put out more receptivity to our “types” as well.

  6. I’m developing a new theory about all this that . . . well, it’s not fully formed yet. What I’m seeing is that . . . (I’m out there dating, so I’m trying to be aware of all this) I find I need someone who possesses the thing I want to be “seen” in me. Kind of a “takes one to know one” thing. Like the qualities in my self I want acknowledged are usually what I look for in someone else (eccentric, ambitious, articulate). I feel like if I met a guy who doesn’t possess eccentric qualities, he sure as hell ain’t going to appreciate that in me. Does that make sense? I know there are no hard and fast rules around this, but so much for me around how we select is how we want to be seen and traits in others that are “familiar” (from our parents). . . (e.g., if my dad always said I was lazy, I may choose guys who see me that way; or, on the other hand, I may choose lazy guys, or, I might choose ones that see me as the opposite).

    There’s so many ways of looking at it – but in all, I think there’s definitely a significance to the qualities we choose in someone else – (it came from our parents, or it’s how we identify, or it’s how we want to be seen in the world). . . So, yes, we attract, but it’s just hard to know what and why (it’s not always for the same reasons.)

    All right, I’m going to shut up now and stop analyzing.

  7. TrippleCappy- Yes it makes sense! Sometimes I think that who we are attracted to happens so fast.. speed of light…psychic…animal senses… that it’s only later when are brain kicks in that we begin to understand some of the complexitiies involved.

  8. I don’t think so. I think we attract all kinds. Funny how I keep seeing posts on attraction these days.. Wonder what makes us attractive.. My Cancer/Scorpio friends have gone for me in the past. Who knows why. Think it’s about being friends with men and getting to know each other well. Often one is attracted to the other, if one is attracted to me, I squirm and flee until they don’t like me anymore and part of me hunts them..

  9. you don’t have a “sometimes” option. i think sometimes we are drawn to that which is like ourselves, sometimes, to that which is lacking in ourselves, or compliments us in some way.

    i’ve got an exceptionally strong mercury influence in my chart-hubby is a double virgo. plenty of common ground. he’s extremely logical and orderly in his approach to things. my merc/uranus conjunction leaves me to hop and intuit. i think the contrast allows our styles to compliment each other as well. 🙂

  10. I’m not sure what I attract, but 3 out of my last 4 boyfriends had Cancer moons. I also draw Capricorn sun or moon people. I draw people with significant Saturn influences. And then I set about testing each and every one of their Saturn boundaries. I feel like I attract unsettled people, but actually, I usually am the unsettled one in the relationship, the other provides the structure and the framework.

  11. we attract what we need to be interacting with.
    if there’s one lesson we’re stuck at, we usually stay stuck. ‘course, you can get it and just fly off into the wild blue yonder with the suddeness of the desert monsoon depending on how we learn to look at stuff.

    anyway, that’s been my experience. fell out of a whole bunch of patterns all at once and am going well, heck, where am i now?

  12. as far as astrology goes… i think, in my experience, life likes to give you trianing runs before the doozies hit. you can pay attention or not, but it gives you the options. sort of like little ripples before the big big wave.

  13. All bar one of my relationships have been with me who have sun in hard aspect to Uranus – mostly conjunctions and one with an opposition. They have all been a bit unconventional carrer and life wise. I don’t have this aspect in my chart, but I have a moon opposite Uranus, and also Leo/Aquarious ascendant/descendant. Is the reason as straight forward as my Uranus descendant?

  14. I tend to drawn in men with a Mars-Pluto aspect or a Pisces/Neptune signature. I am Scorpio rising and I have a prominent Venus-MC trine Neptune.

    I think we attract someone who reflects our current needs. The relationships change when your needs change. For example there was a point I was attracting Sag girls into my life. Then there were two Scorpio people in my life, my best friend and my boyfriend. I had an Aries pack after that. And now I notice Gemini energy is fueling me.

    I have a mixed-bag chart so it shouldn’t be surprising that I go through relationships intensely – emphasis on “go through” because I have Jupiter-Uranus on my ascendant so I am always moving, looking for a beginning-middle-and-end.

  15. The Hawaiian method of healing called Ho’oponono goes so far as to say that we are responsible for co-creating every person and every experience in our life! There’s an amazing story about Dr. Hew Len who worked at the Hawaii State hospital for the criminally insane. He practiced Ho’oponpono for every patient, and within the first 2 years that he was there, many of them were becoming healed and released. His story is astounding and he become one of the forerunners of making Ho’oponono popular again. Joe Vitale wrote a book about it, as did M. Katz. Excellent info.

  16. I think we attract all sorts of people but tend to choose to interact with ones we are either similar with or opposite depending on if we value a more venusian or martial relationship. I have certainly met people like me, but also people from completely different cultures, families, personalities, etc. No spiritual answer from me, but I think there’s choice involved whether we are enjoying people for who they are, searching for lessons, or repeating psychodramas.

  17. We are only aware of a small portion of the total content of our mind. A lot of the content is unconscious. And yet we are putting energy out there constantly, whether it be conscious or unconscious. This is why working on ourselves and developing our personal awareness is so valuable. One way to see the evolution of our unconscious selves reflected back is by noticing that we are attracting a better quality of partner than we used to. Our unconscious minds influence and shape our lives to an astounding degree, and the types of partners we attract links in to what is going on deep inside our subconscious minds (Venus- Pluto).

    People with Saturn-Venus aspects often encounter hardships concerning partners, or spend long periods alone. And yet the type of person that is likely to benefit most from gaining an understanding of the law of attraction is a person with a Saturn-Venus aspect. LAW (Saturn) of ATTRACTION (Venus).

  18. This made me think of my mom who is an Aries.. Both of her husbands were Aries and most of the men she has dated have been Aries.. She will be 60 this year (but looks 45) and after all her bad experiences she flat out refuses to date.. Same exact thing for her Pisces sister with the Aries men.. The last one was 20 years younger, isolated & abused her and took her for all she had! If only they would of broke this destructive pattern a long time ago before it got to this point.. They could of just ruled out Aries men instead of men all together!

    1. i know this is an older comment but i get what you mean, although at the time i didnt know what astrology was about. only pop astrology in the newspaper article. i didnt think it had any relevance to the signs/placements one dated.
      i wonder if it has anything to do with those placements that cause a friction and soul evolution to evolve from those patterns.
      while some aries men are good partners to some women, while not for others. due to the friction of the chart itself/patterns we need to learn from.

  19. I think we’re missing a piece here. What about past lives and past lives regression. Intermingling with energies over several lives seems very feasible to me. We attract the same energies due to deeply set energy patterns. We just see those shine through in everyday life because of the life path we are living in this life. Those “people” we continually attract are manifestations of energy that has been around since…?? Law of attraction definitely at play here. How we deal with them in this life is an intricate mix of learned childhood behaviours and beliefs and planetary movements. They’re not messing around when they say “Heal this life and you heal lives in the past and those in the future” – essentially you’re just changing the energy of those relationships.

  20. Also, must say, looking back, I have had very strong connections with Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus, & Pisces and Libra (those have taken more time to grow). Relationships with Gemini’s and Sagittarius have proven to be more arduous and have never reached the depths of the relationships I have had with the aforementioned signs. I’m a Cancer.

  21. There always has to be some kind of resonance, yes. Its usually not so literal, but whatever happens to us occurs in our own consciousness. Everything is connected in that way.

    It doesnt have anything to do with who deserves what. Theres no judgement in the law of vibration. Thats a man made thing and it suggests that theres an “other”, which is not the highest truth.

    Its more about becoming whole and aware through experience.

    1. I disagree. You see kids get abused, genocide, etc. This kinda pop spirituality just doesn’t hold under scrutiny.

  22. Theres no blame. Its about taking ownership of your own take on things and your own inner world. Thats what we can be responsible for. Every experience is an invitation from God to look deeper into oneself. Everything happens within your own consciousness.

    I know a lot of people dont want to hear this, but victimhood is an illusion. Its all YOU. Its the most empowering thing to realize, that there is nothing outside of you. It means that theres nothing to feel bad about. I tell people this so they know that they have the power to see things in whatever way that feels best to them. You shape your world in this way.

    Victor Frankl expressed this beautifully in Mans Search for Meaning. He knew that noone but himself, had the power to shape how percieved the world. He knew that there was little value in identifying as a victim. Thats where our freedom is. Its the seat of power.

    Im not arguing this. Only presenting it. That power is there for anyone who dares.

    1. Again, that’s more nonsense when you see things like genocide, colonialism, imperialism, racism, misogyny, pedophaelia, etc., definitely people, or groups of them to hold accountable.

      Becoming one with bad things and people, lacking the boundaries to see that there ARE things outside of you sounds like a recepie for many issues.

      All that stuff sounds nice, but it just does not hold up under scrutiny when you look at people who actually do have power. One cannot control what comes into one’s perception, lest you want to be in denial or delusional, so others do affect one’s perception.

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