Occasionally someone shows up here who knows the soldier in real life. Outside of his brother who likes to set a charge and can really set a charge, it is always immediately apparent because they say something identifying. All the remarks are positive and supportive of him except for that one guy who emailed to bitch me out once but his problem was with me not the soldier.
So last night I was going to bed and I saw this comment regarding the soldier in my imagination. I just imagined it, that’s all I can say because I was lying in bed not sitting in front of the computer.
The comment had that quality about it – I knew it was from someone who knew him so I checked the screen name in my imagination and it was someone new. Hmm, I thought. I wonder who that is.
Of course I knew the comment was not real and I wondered about it briefly before I fell asleep. Would the comment show up in real life?
I woke up to the alarm on my phone, alarmed because I felt so tired. I replaced my out of style phone with a new one which was defective. I got the replacement phone a couple days ago and had to re-set the alarms. I mistakenly set the afternoon alarm that reminds to go pick up Vid to AM but I didn’t know that when I got out of bed all sluggish and went to make coffee thinking, jeez I am tired. I also was aware I’d woken up from a dream and I was not too happy about it.
Since Pluto went into my 12th, I am dreaming nightly. Some of the dreams are disturbing, none of them are innocuous but for the most part I am liking them. This is one of the reasons the control freaks on my blog are bothering me so much these days. There has been a shift and I am doing all this communing with the ethereal these days. It’s like being thrown in a deep pool, I am trying to adapt and when people come along to instruct me around THEIR priorities, it’s very jolting. I am interested in the nuance now, see?
So anyway, I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and I realized I was dreaming about another comment in regards to the soldier. It was the same entity as the night before so now this seemed mysterious.
I made the coffee, feeling tired as hell, thinking I would never make it to the gym today and then sat down in front of the computer to do my morning things, namely dig your comments out of the spam filter and tend the Astro Dispatch. It did not take long for me to notice it was 2 in the morning – CRAP.
Well I’ve got no need to be up at 2 in the morning but I also recognize this fact about Uranus transits… sometimes you can’t sleep. But I was really interested in that comment so I thought I should try to go back to sleep so I shut off the coffee and went back to sleep but no dice. All I could think about were those comments!
So I complied. I really think if something is on your mind, you ought to honor it so I went ahead and turned into the wind to face this and see if I could parse whatever message I was supposed to take from this and that’s when I realized (I am pretty sure) the comments could only have come from one person and they are dead.
When I thought this I laughed out loud. Dead people don’t talk to me at all, save Scott’s sister and she only rarely comes along. People think I commune with Henry and they think wrong. Henry doesn’t talk to me at all but as I lie there I could see the intricacy of the code which I acknowledge may be a code or just as likely my own imagination. But point is, this person identified themselves… and it makes you smile when you figure it out.
It’s like the time the soldier’s brother came on and wrote all this stuff that got the soldier INCENSED. The soldier reacted completely. He was up on his toes yelling at the commenter, “You tell that motherfucker this, this and this!!” And I did. I wrote his comments in response and a few minutes later it dawned on me.., “Hey wait a minute, this is your brother…”
Once it had occurred, it was obvious. The comment was custom made to provoke and had his brother’s hand all over it. It also had the misspellings that are characteristic of his family because they speak too many languages. So this was like that. You just know who is communicating.
There are other pieces and parts to this quilt but the soldier made a comment the other day, he said that maybe someone might have something good to say about him after he dies. That’s another topic but I am pretty sure someone has something good to say about him after they die so I will tell him that today. And I will be able to see if he can make sense of the screen name, see. Because I am pretty sure it’s not random.
Years ago when the soldier read my other blog for 3 years, he surfaced to comment a few times, he says he just couldn’t help it. He posted anonymously using SF code or in some cases, this dead friend’s name! So maybe this guy figures… well I don’t know what he figures but the soldier probably will.
That is SO cool. Dead people used to talk to me a lot but I got tired of the crowds and told them to go talk to their spirit guides about how to move on. Now I imagine the dead would only call if they really needed me. I’ve never gotten a text or comment from the dead though. Very innovative!
And I haven’t been able to sleep worth a darn lately either.
I have had a lot of exchanges lately that I am not sure really happened or if I dreamed them. Not kidding. With a few people I’m afraid of bringing them up for fear they never actually occured!
Well I told the soldier and remembered the comment(s) in the process of telling. Not the exact the words but in spirit.
This is so beautiful Elsa, thank you for sharing it with us.
I had to laugh at the Soldier going beserk and it being his brother!!
Last night I went out with a fellow artist. Weirdly enough I ended up telling him about the two people who have visited me. Once was through a complete stranger in an innocuous environment who was on to me, as well as empathetic. That was a gift from the Divine, no kidding.
Your blog is wonderful. I really do learn a lot and I’m grateful. 🙂
Thanks, kash, that was funny as hell. His whole family is like that (his son too). The pride themselves on getting your ass excited though the soldier has not done it to me since the helmet incident. 😉 Seeing as I tried to kill him and all…
But yeah when I dawned on me and I read the comment carefully what it amounted to was a list of everything in the world that makes the soldier FURIOUS!
And his son once, (while he was in Iraq) had someone go to the soldier’s little truck while it was parked at truck stop (he was on the road) and decorate it with Democrat signs. VOTE HILARY and stuff. He got out of his big truck, fit to kill but when he got in the truck he saw a little note on the back from his son…
These people will fuck with you Big Time. But anyway the soldier was yelling his head off that comment – he was PISSSSSSSSSSED like no one in the world could make him save me or his brother and that is when I figured out it had to be his brother.
When he found out, he broke into a wide grin.
I was going to totally burn someone’s ass to the ground once. They had been cruel to me and when I saw them laugh at me there was going to be hell to pay. As in south node in Scorpio major power play hell.
At the moment that I was getting ready to show my ass, my maternal grandmother said as clear as day “don’t you be mean to that woman”. She died in Aug. 1989, this was summer of 2004.
God knew that there was no way I would dishonor or disobey my mammaw. It was the correct advice.
Tam – that is coooooooool. 🙂
“Tam – that is coooooooool. ”
Yeah Elsa. I still haven’t been mean to her. I just try to steer clear of her.
that kind of thing always makes me wonder about the layers of existence…
Tam that is amazing.
I love hearing about other people’s experiences in this regard.
I think that steering clear of people is a powerful choice in a lot of ways.
Not to go on and on but it was a life altering event. I have never told anyone before, but she totally saved me from a lot of grief and remorse.
Since then I try to look at “scenes” in my life like they do instant replay in a NFL football game. In real time it looks one way, then from the various angles you can finally get what is actually going on. You know, that’s why eye witnesses aren’t’ very good because they are only seeing it from the spot. My mammaw saw the entire scene plus what was in our hearts.
I haven’t shared this story with anyone besides my husband before, but this feels like a good time. Finally after years of fighting against our attraction for eachother, and our new physical relationship was brand new, we were in bed and I was leaning over him, with my back to the door of his bedroom. I jumped when I heard a voice in my ear- and thought someone had walked in on us and whipped my head around to see who was there. I was shocked when there wasn’t anybody. My husband was instantly ‘on alert’ and asked what happened. I told him that someone just whispered in my ear. He asked what it was I heard, and I had to think a second and told him, it was a woman’s voice and all she said was, “Thank you for paying attention.” I knew as soon as I said it, who it was that was communicating with me. It was his mother, who had passed away a dozen years before. I know that my husband was still ‘troubled’ when she died (from his soldier days), and the feeling I got from her message was that she was finally relieved from having to worry about him because she knew I was able to handle things from there. It was as if she was giving us her blessing!