I am trying to raise my son to be a considerate person. It’s so challenging. I think this is because there are so few considerate people around. There are no role models.
I was telling my son how he should not have done something that he did. I think he meant well…but he did not think.
Most parents today would focus on the fact he meant well but that’s not good enough for me. There, I said it. I have a standard and that standard is high.
I told my son that had he thought about it, he’d have known what he did may well have upset me. Therefore he should have asked.
I know this sounds like I am being an impossible-to-please parent here, but hear me out.
I also explained that I was not asking him to do anything I did not do for him. I take his nature into consideration when I am dealing with him.
“I know you start slow in the morning,” I said. “I get up at four am, ready to go. But you sleep in…and you wake up slow. Consequently, I don’t bother you for at least an hour after you wake up. I don’t anything of you, because I know it takes that long for you to get going…”
This is what intelligent people do. I am sorry if that offends you, but people who are intelligent consider the person they are interacting with.
I’ll give you another example, for clarity. “Never argue with a drunk.” That’s an old adage that represents the same concept. The person is drunk – arguing with them is a waste of time. Intelligent people realize this. They consider the other person!
I want my son to think, intelligently. Consequently, I don’t give him a pass for “doing the wrong thing for a possible good reason.”
What the heck is that? It’s not a good husband, is it? Don’t you women want a man who’s mama actually raised him? Shouldn’t a man be capable of doing the right thing for the right reason?
I got an email from, Ben, right after this episode. He’s been a friend for thirty years and he’s an intelligent classy man, consistently, over the years. He’s proves this by being considerate!
Consideration has become very important in my life. Two years ago, I was the President of my local Woman’s Club.
One year ago, I spent hours on the phone with friends..oh well, I did all kinds of things. But what happened, is unbeknownst to me, I was getting sick.
And when I told people that I could not do this or that, they ignored me. They wanted me to do things I could no longer manage and that was that. I needed some consideration, but it not be offered.
I subsequently pulled away. There was no choice. Pluto is transiting my 12th house. I was going down the drain and when I told people this, it didn’t matter. People are starring in their own movie, as satori likes to say.
So now Pluto has transited deep into my twelfth house. My health is jacked, but it’s really not the point. I don’t know anyone who isn’t struggling on some level right now. How considerate of this are you?
Ben always says that I am smarter than he is, but he’s more educated. He’s graceful, wise and super considerate of everyone he meets. I don’t see why my son can’t be intelligent, educated and considerate.
I realize how old-fashioned that sounds, but I’m saying it anyway. It’s possible to become so consumed with what you want from others, you forget your humanity.
How considerate are you really?