Relationship Triangles, Venus Pluto & The Femme Fatale

Relationship triangles are common when Venus aspects Pluto. There is often a femme fatale involved in some form. She may be in the flesh.  She may live in the memory of one of the parties or in someone’s paranoia but one way or the other, love becomes psychological.

I notice, while there are three players, there is more than one game being played.

To illustrate, I have a client who has been seduced by an entity online. They have established a relationship. I am coming in from the side, with a harpoon.  The same woman in the same relationship has a sister who is coming in with her harpoon.  My guess is she has some friends, also armed with harpoons.

Not everyone is going to want to stab in the same way, in the same place. For example, this gal has a relationship with me, an astrologer. Someone might want to degrade (Pluto) that!

Got a triangle going in your life? Tell us!


47 thoughts on “Relationship Triangles, Venus Pluto & The Femme Fatale”

  1. ‘She may live in the memory of one of the parties’

    I’ve been meeting this all my dating life – I never realised it was Venus Pluto. Another mystery solved by Miss Elsa P 🙂

  2. Pluto is the my natal ruler of the 3rd…

    is transiting my 3rd house in my progressed chart.
    is transiting my 2nd house in my solar return chart.
    and about 3º to enter my natal 5th house.

    ive been having issues with my brother over his jealousy regarding my 2nd/8th house. He always tried to rip my image.

  3. Oy. Better sharpen the shovel blade – I’m usually either the corpse digger, or the one with the double tap.

    I’m Shannon and this *ka-chunk* is my BOOMSTICK.


  4. I am horrified by this Venus/Pluto Oppostion, it is coming up on my natal 7 degree Venus in Cancer Retrograde, I am tired of feeling disgusting….make it stop!

  5. Avatar
    Le Ciel du Scorpion

    Oh Dag. What to do when you have a Venus/Pluto aspect in your natal? This sort of thing seems so eerily familiar and identifiable. Transiting Venus is conjunct my Mars right now, too, which is giving me an itchy trigger finger. But I’m not in any position to say or do a damned thing. It’s like walking into a saloon and knowing everyone there is armed and that there’s gonna be a gunfight. All you can do is take a seat in the back and order something that comes on a large metal platter…

  6. I am in the rare position of having two really decent men in my life right now. I’ve been spending time with both and enjoying their company greatly, but there is no defined relationship with either at this point. I do feel kind of dishonest about doing this and feel like I’m going to have to make a decision soon. One of them took me home to meet his whole extended family yesterday so I know he’s pretty serious. The other is going through a rough spot right now and I think he sort of looks at me as a mental escape from all that. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out.

  7. Wow, I just found out today that someone I (was) seeing is seeing someone else!
    I had to choose between him and someone else and luckily I chose the other guy.

    sometimes astrology is right on!
    I also found this out via a facebook pic

  8. Lots more of that type thing coming, eg. Get the newsletter because I am not covering this stuff in daily forecasts anymore.

  9. Del– my opinion is that so long as you are honest, that’s what dating is for. To see who suits you best. If you haven’t made a commitment to someone, you’re not being unfair, is how I look at it.

    I’m in a sort of 3-way with the guy I’m seeing and his ex. He is being entirely decent and honest about it, and I’m willing to try things him as he is, because he is still able to give me what I need (honesty, his time, affection). I like that under Saturn in Libra I am finding ways to balance my Venus in Scorpio and my Aquarius dsc. Both are very demanding. Intimacy and freedom are a difficult balance to strike but I find that if both people are committed to respecting the other it seems possible. I hope!

  10. Avatar

    Le Ciel, I have both that natally and the venus transit my mars/saturn too – the whole mess fills in my t-squares to make a grand cross.

    I like what you write as it rings a bell for me. I’ve been itchy, very very itchy and for no reason too. argh.

    That said, I have a solid relationship that helps. It feels like there is a lot hanging in the balance right now, stuff that should be moving forward but isn’t or is taking a pile more fussing, to and fro-ing and just plain old work to make GO.

  11. Oh my, um, yes triangles abound. 7th house Venus, just had return this week, yay. Sort of accidentally ended up in this position, damn you magnetism. Oh, and all these guys are friends, sheesh. I realized one had a “thing” had to give him “the talk” last night. One is a slimeball with a girlfriend that told both the other guys “he had dibs” and the third, well he’s fun and dangerous and the one I’m rooting for. This is just my dating life, don’t even get me started on the messiness stewing with my estranged husband. I’m sure he’ll be zombie rising from the trash can in the next week.

  12. Oh as an aside, I realized one of my worst beauty fears this week when I got a REALLY BAD brow wax. Thanks Pluto, on a date night no less.

  13. Ha, thanks Kashmiri. On the upside, dangerous boy still thought I looked pretty hot 🙂 Venus won when it counted!

  14. Thank you, Shaina! I think there’s a “talk” that needs to happen with both of them so we’re all on the same page.

  15. Great! yep. Oppostion Venus – Pluto actually far from calm and feel-at-ease condition 🙂
    but what a sexual energy core! 🙂

  16. I have a natal 8th house Pluto in an exact square (0 degrees and 2 seconds) to natal 5th house Venus. For all the years that I was unaware of this aspect’s operation in my life (Pluto is in 8th house Libra, Venus in 5th house Cancer), every single man with whom I had a relationship was a cheater. There was always a triangle or two, or three, even if I didn’t know.

    I had my plutonic melt-down a few years ago after the latest cheater was discovered. Discovered astrology quickly thereafter, and began “owning” my own Pluto. Prior to that, I had always been the “good girl, at home, with the kids, breaks no rules” type. I discovered my own Pluto when I encountered a man who I found attractive enough to pursue, despite the taboo nature of the relationship.

    I can’t say that everything is smooth sailing–in fact, things are still extremely intense, as my love life has always been. But at the very least, with taking some ownership of my own Pluto issues, I’m finding it enjoyable–in a frightening, OMG this is crazy–but kind of fun” type of way.

    What I can say is that to have these two planets in aspect, particularly in relationship houses, and to try to deny either of them expression (particularly Pluto), is painful beyond belief. Pluto is not the type of cosmic energy that accepts being shoved into a closet.

  17. Thanks Elsa. You have a great blog. I quietly read it on a regular basis. I posted this time because with all of my chart tracking, I had completely missed the fact that Venus is going to perch on the ruler of my 7th house and oppose Pluto in a couple of days. So after I groaned (and thanked God that you posted this so I’m ready for it) 🙂 I decided to share.

  18. Yup, daughter-her dad-me. He hates me and she plays it to get what she wants (I left 20 years ago). She comes to me for help, I stupidly give it, when she can’t get anymore from me (either because I just don’t have it or I have put my boundaries up) she runs back to him crying “Mom’s a mean bitch” and he falls for it every time (we’ve had one minor argument this past year).
    I really screwed myself this time though – helped her out last year when she got pregnant, spent money I was saving for dental work to move her back here and get us an apartment. I asked her in February what her plans were (baby was born) because I needed to quit my life-sucking job and wanted to make sure she would be here to pay her half of the rent. She promised me she wasn’t going anywhere, so I quit mid May. She moved back to dad’s last week. On Monday (Merc/Uranus) I got my eviction notice for the 18th. I was in the hospital last month for a weekend – my teeth are abscessing, Dr said if I don’t deal with it the poison will go to my temples, then into my eyes and I will be blind (how appropriate, apparently I already am blind). I got some Welfare today to help but the dentists are ignoring my calls or telling me they are going on vacation.
    So, what the fuck really! Can someone help me with this – what am I missing? Was I not supposed to help her, for God’s sake there was a baby involved! Was I just supposed to be selfish? I’m in alot of pain right now so I know I’m not seeing clearly.
    I hate the sound of this comment – friggin’ victim waaaaah……..I was on top of the world a year ago. All I see in my head right now is the Tower card and I don’t think the landing is going to be very soft.

  19. Hey there evry1.. well well.. sigh sigh.. this i had simply to write about.. i dont know where its all going the grand trine blah blah but i am being blind about the guy whose been taking my trip since last summer.. he says he loves me.. but cant be out of the “pathetic” so called situation which he gets ok about time and again.. the lying cheating shit has gone on.. and i feel i have compromised myself cuz i believed his lies despite knowing better.. he has time and again told me he’ll leave everything but backs off whenevr i broach the subject.. i blasted day before n haven’t heard from him since.. both with pluto in the 8th house.. and his venus and mars in 7th.. multiple affairs galore eh!!

  20. And well.. i am not simple about relationships either.. have the sun, moon and uranus ALL in the 7th house.. someone help me plsssssssssssssssss!!

  21. never felt much like a femme fatale. could be i don’t see it. i think the aries makes it easy for me to pretend i’m innocent when i’m playing my libra cards (and i sure can do it… if i want to.)

  22. I have just broken up with a guy with a Venus-Pluto trine.
    Venus in Gemini, Pluto in Libra.
    It’s all about dat brain, baby.

    But the triangle was also mental. Me vs. him vs. the people/ladies on Social Media.
    I often felt I was in the middle of a competition between his online lady friends and our relationship. To be frank, he didn’t pay me much attention or respect.
    I was good for his ego, good for his loneliness. Good for compliments and ego boost.
    And then I was good at listening, practising Libra Care Policy.
    But not much the other way – Mars in Leo can be devestatingly selfish.

    So this triangle was between the media, me and him.
    And to be honest – his ADD. (Like ADHD but withouth the “H” which puts the “hyper” part into the brain, causing depression instead).
    He was diagnosed with it shortly before I broke up.

    Now his illness is finally treated but I am done.
    I don’t want to wait in line (again) for him to come around and treat me fair (Libra).

    His Pluto was conjunct my natal Moon in 8H – shared resources.
    Well, I shared my feelings (moon), he spent the resources (Pluto, 8H)
    The transformation aspect came when I realized he just kept sucking my heart out for his own to devour. I am not so naive I think he will admit his errors. Pluto is the blind trauma in our psyche. So of course he will not ever apologize for it.

    What happened says a lot about him.
    The 8H is where our boundaries are difficult to put up. So… Energy goes in and energy goes out. Everything is energy really. As Elsa says – energy is neutral until it’s directed. Couldn’t be more true than in the 8th house.

    1. Omg I broke up with someone earlier this year with natal Venus opp. Pluto and Venus in Gemini. Same exact problem! Multiple online girlfriends on social media! it drove me to insanity when he never made effort to contact me or plan to be with me outside of our “usual” schedule but i always knew he was online 24/7. I made sure my Scorpio moon venom that I left on him during our break-up will be felt for years to come.

  23. I have Venus opposite Pluto. My Saturn in Scorpio conjuncts Pluto, so I can be intensely insecure and non-trusting in a relationship. I imagine being left for other women constantly. This combination can make you feel crazy at times… it can also cause a self-fulfilling prophecy- that happened to me once and it hurt me so much, I decided never again would I trust a man, nor would I only have one man at a time. Psychologically, I always had someone else on the backburner, even if only in my imagination. I was unable to fully commit to anyone again. Love became paranoia and each time I felt like I needed someone, I would start playing my games again- like telling myself to just be a little mean to them or more unavailable so they don’t realize how I need them….or i would start thinking of someone else……

    Also, there was never a time I was not in competition with some kind of ‘femme fatal”… painful placement.

    1. With Venus/Pluto, the compulsion to compare is never going to spontaniously disappear, even with intense therapy. Literally, the only way to stop is just to STOP, through sheer will-power. It’s a lot like quitting smoking. Everyone knows going cold-turkey works, and it’s the best way, but we can tell ourselves all kinds of BS to prolong our addiction.

      With Venus-Pluto, you just have to force yourcelf to stop. No ‘one more little drag”. Just stop.

      1. Example of a “femme fatale” in my life presently: there is someone whom my SO used to date a long time ago and she is heavily Scorpionic – she has Venus in Scorpio Conjunct Pluto in Scorpio right smack dab on my Pluto/Saturn.

        She has been present in my psychology since my SO and I first started dating, because my SO first mentioned her and a bedroom fantasy he wished for me to do, which he explained to me, originated with her, and went into more detail about how she did not fulfill the fantasy.

        Okay, fast forward a month or two and my SO accidently called me by her name. It bothered me, but I stuck around and the comparisons then started, even though I had no information about her or her life, currently. It was a purely *imaginative*, psychological comparisons, based on what I knew and remembered about her. That wasn’t the only time he called me by her name…it happened a few times.

        So then, I went on a quest to find out more about her. I started to hunt her down. Low and behold, I found her on social media. That’s when the real time relentless comparisons started. Not only did I become insanely jealous, I began to compete with her. I even came to believe she was competing with me too. Checking up on her became an obsession because I had an underlying fear of her outdoing me and being more *loved* by my SO. I hated her with a passion because it seemed like everytime i would “one-up” her (in my venus/pluto mind), she would turn around and outdo me. It *still* doesn’t feel like a coincidence to me that everytime I do or wear something she does it too within the next week. I wear a baseball hat- she wears one. I wear red lipsick- she wears red lipstick. I post pictures of my child at six flags, she posts pictures of hers at six flags. I go to college- she goes to college…etc etc…i could go on for days…..

        Over time, I started to realize my own self-worth was based on unhealthy obsessive comparisons, stemming from an enourmous insecurity about being loved. It took me a long time to just STOP and say, I am enough. I am a person of value.

        (I’m sorry for the multiple posts, I can’t stop thinking about this today and I figured this is a good outlet and may help someone else)

  24. i didnt realize that there is always a triangle involved with femme fatales. lol before my husband my last ex and i decided to break up, and my husband came in, (well before he was not even engaged to me)
    and before that, there was always a triangle invovled with me. It makes sense because my husband is Scorpio w/Scorpio venus. and my ex’s were very plutonian. i also notice that it’s true for Scorpio moon men as well. i have a friend who is a scorpio moon male, and he told me he was in love with a french girl who was also involved with an american man, so there was a love triangle with them. You can’t even think she is your femme fatale because she is so sweet and kind, which is why he fell for her too. there was nothing bad going on, it’s the men invovled fall for a woman who got involved (even if it’s friendship) with two men who love/desire her. So interesting about all this! eye opening.

  25. Just reading my old post and wow, I had forgotten about posting that. Venus/Pluto sucks.

    It also works in the reverse for me, not just where I have a third party femme fatal on my ass, but where I am her.

    My old ex from my teenage years, ugh, I am going to gag because he is always popping up trying to make contact at least once a year and it makes me sick. He told me his first marriage broke up because of me. I was surprised because I had not talked to him in years… and he was NOT on my mind at all. But his wife had it in her head that he still loved me and she couldn’t stop obsessing about it.

    Gross. I. Tell. You. I hate Venus/Pluto

    1. And that guy has Venus in Scorpio and Pluto in Libra conjunct hus Sun! He is very creepy. I can’t even…. i feel like he’s probably stalking me…maybe even here. Oh did I mention about the paranoia!? ?

    2. i had the same thing going on. lol everytime i make buddies with a guy, on platonic level, they meet a woman who marries them and so i leave because i can feel the woman is threatened and even though she knows i am not a threat. i’m not interested.EVER. it is better to leave. to give that woman a “peace of mind”. alot of people in the world don’t see it the way i do, i notice. They usually say stuff like, why would u do that? u didnt do anything and a woman coming into the scene who he marries should not be a threat. Wow. alot of people just dont understand emotions. even on an invisible level. or psychological.

  26. I dated a girl who was getting herself involved in a lot of triangles, but she has I believe Venus/Neptune/Uranus in Capricorn and she was just not realizing when she was pulling in a creeper and creating difficult situations. She always brought a besotted male friend when she went to hang out with me because she was “nervous” to see me. I blame Neptune. I hate Venus/Neptune because I don’t like to fall in people’s estimation, but probably I should change my tune because Neptune will transit my Venus. I always blame Neptune, but now Neptune has me by the hair.

  27. I have Venus 11th ♈: square Jupiter 7th ♑, trine with Pluto 6th ♐, opposite to both Chiron and North node 5th ♎, sextile with Mercury 8th ♑, sextile with Uranus 8th ♒. Lilth in 1st ♋ opposite to jupiter 7th ♑ A lyric I associate myself with is “he used to call me DN which stood for deadly nightshade, cause I was filled with poison but blessed with beauty and rage”- Ultraviolence Lana del Rey.

  28. Damn, everything makes sense. I`m scared. I live in Brazil, but I found this forum by searching. I’ve been with a Venus man squaring Pluto for 5 years, and it was never easy. I never did the things he did to me. I thought I was having little maturity to lead the relationship, which I easily judged but he has so many girls who keep going after him without any respect, from the beginning he was attracted to many women, little by little I managed to create my space and he then excluded all women to prove that they just wanted to be with me. But, always, difficult, they keep coming back and I already had some bouts of jealousy that I didn’t like to feel, I felt like a child … I wish it didn’t exist, I feel very insecure. He’s doing everything to show that I’m the only one, but women always show up, the girls even ask me to follow on my instagram. It looks like a test of my patience. He didn’t betray me, but I’m afraid one day he will betray because so much woman and temptation on many sides… but he says he only wants me..and he thinks about excluding social networks..I don’t like it, but it’s unbearable. I am an Aquarian, he is a Libra. I have Venus in Capricorn, he has Venus in Virgo. Both have a moon in Capricorn.

  29. And I feel very sad about it. I`m 30. He’s my first boyfriend, he’s very important to me. Im venus in capricorn retrograde. He says I was the first person he loved, thanks me for that. He have venus in virgo house 7. We have a beautiful love story, which took a long time, but it happened, but square venus with pluto awakens the worst in the relationship. I’ve never been jealous, and I’m jealous. I never screamed, and I screamed at him. I felt really bad. I don’t know what to do, but I will accept whatever has to be, I promised myself that I wouldn’t fight anymore because of that, because I don’t like fights that only serve to hurt. I discovered this aspect, and I’m happy to know that I’m not delusional, that a lot of people here have gone through this too. The most difficult to control, for me, is my venus that needs confidence and my scorpion lilith in 8 – I was totally jealous. People are very bad sometimes, but I chose to believe what he tells me, and I’m doing my best, he is the man I chose for my life.

    1. Avatar
      Sean Blackburn

      Don’t fret square are just mountains to overcome where the struggle is love and money(value) and beauty challenged by darkness but also transformation from negative to positive do positively speak he could transform you meaning of love and transform your values in a person(generalized) be itin romance or idea of beauty.( beauty has a price) and remember it’s a struggle forever but it’s probably the best reward when you get past the square.

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