Sagittarius Woman Attracted To Cool-Acting Scorpio Man

sagittarius vintage woman archerDear Elsa,

I recently met a guy and we hang out at the same places. When we first got together, he said he had been after me for a month – much to my surprise because he’s hard to read. He definitely gives the impression he’s too cool to be all into me, and we’ve talked openly that he’s not looking for a relationship because he doesn’t want to get hurt. He was in a 4 yr relationship and the girl left him… about a year ago. Yet, he seems to get really jealous if I talk to other guys and I recently found out he is a Scorpio.

Even if he acts like he’s not watching me, he knows exactly what I’m doing and what I’m saying. I’ve tried the acting cool approach back…which seems to work but I don’t want it to backfire on me. I’ve also tried being myself and walking up and talking to him, only for him to act “cool” and it makes me feel unwanted so I walk away. Never fails, he ends up pursuing me later.

I really hate playing these games, but I’m at a loss for which approach to take. Any insight?

United States

Dear Sagittarian,

Yes I have some insight. Get out and get out now because the way you are behaving in this relationship is the worst possible expression of your chart and I’ll tell you what that means. It means you do not want this man!

To live and not live true is as perversion of Sagittarius energy. To hang around when you’ve been rejected… and to refuse to face reality in relationships is a perversion of Venus in Sagittarius. Last, to be more concerned with what another person is doing than with what you are doing is Mars in Libra at it’s worst, and I guess you’re getting the picture here.

And please understand, I am not trying to hurt you. It is just that you are near 40 years old and you’ve no time to waste imagining a man is going to show his interest in you by being game-y, never mind being game-y yourself while claiming to hate it. Here’s the trick:

Do and be things that you love and guess what’ll happen? Love will find you and guys like this will leave you alone. As for how to get out of this, check, “Scorpio Man Kisses Taurus Woman, Biting Her Lip As He Takes His Leave”.

Good luck.

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15 thoughts on “Sagittarius Woman Attracted To Cool-Acting Scorpio Man”

  1. “To live and not live true is as perversion of Sagittarius energy. To hang around when you’ve been rejected… and to refuse to face reality in relationships is a perversion of Venus in Sagittarius.”

    This is one of the reasons I keep reading your blog, Elsa. Every once in a while, while responding to someone else, you fire an arrow that hits my mark completely. Thank you for that.

    The quote above is one of the truest and hardest things I had to learn so far in this life.

  2. My mother’s a Sagitarrian and my father was a Scorpio — it’s a difficult pairing. He constantly hurt her feelings with his tongue. And he was a charming scorp with lots of Libra. But as a pair, it was not pretty to watch.

    She remarried after he died to an Aquarian sweetie pie who loved to travel and do things together. A very straight-forward relationship. Then when he died, she remarried again. A Libra who was charming and fun and made her SO happy. Sags aren’t meant to hang with Scorpio. Not the same energy at all. Look for someone who shares your interests and is FUN to be around. You’ll be so much happier.

    shoot, I’M a pisces and probably meant to hang with those scorpios and I won’t. life is too short to listen to those tongue-lashings.

    scorpios…I think they’re winning the “troublemaker” race.

  3. I’m not a Sag sun but I’ve a Sag ascendant with Jupiter in the first house. I had an ex-boyfriend who wasn’t a Sag sun but had 4 planets in Scorp (Moon, Mars, Venus, Jupiter). It was very intense but very difficult. And I can totally identify with the not wanting to play games but yet not sure how else to reach him. I think Elsa is right – don’t try.

    I’m sure there are people who have great relationships with Scorps but Sags will find it hard. Scorps find power in silence, Sags need everything out in the open – the more the Scorp retreats, the more the Sag needs to bring things to the surface, the more the Scorp retreats.

    My Scorp ex has re-surfaced recently (Mercury in Scorp!) wanting to reinstate some kind of cyber-sexual relationship (we’re in different countries), but not wanting to say or discuss what the nature of the relationship is to be. The way the old pattern used to be, was that I’d be the one to ask the question: “So what are we really?” And he’d have the prerogative of going: “Huh? What do you mean? I wasn’t thinking/planning/scheming anything.” See, either way, he wins, and the Sag always feels like the one with the hoof in the mouth.

    Elsa is right. Sags need to live and live true. Life is too short.

  4. My parents are also an example of this iffy pairing. My mother is Sadge sun, moon and rising (I’m a Pisces, I developed a thick skin very early, to say the least) and my dad is Scorpio sun, rising and Taurus moon. I have no idea why they got married or how they remain married because it’s definitely NOT a good relationship and it never has been. I think Scorpio brings out the worst part of Sadge. Whenever he would upset her which was often, she would retaliate with her best weapon, a caustic tongue with stinging insult. Which of course had no effect whatsoever on him. Bah, it’s a rough pairing. Not saying it can’t ever work, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

  5. I’m a Super Sag ( Sun, Venus, Merc, Uranus, Saturn & Asc)I had one tango with a Scorpio. It started out okay, I knew there was a connection when we first met, and I decided to see what was there. It was some good sexual energy with some flirtation… was a nice short summer fling. But when I tried to get to know him more he would block me by either changing the subject or throwing in a joke to throw me off. I got fed up with not knowing which way it was going, so I let him go. Months later he contacted me out of the blue saying : ” What happened, didn’t you know I liked you?” Scorpios! Bah!

    Lol, I had to roll my eyes, how can anyone decipher those kind of messages. I see him around occasionally and I wonder what I saw… but those memories keep me content.

  6. Im a sag with (mercury in sag, venus in libra, and rising in aires) and I’ve been dating a scorpio with (rising in capricorn, mercury in libra, and venus in sag) for about 2yrs and it’s hell. He wont open up for anything and commitment is far from his mind. Whenever I mention anything about settling down he runs away for weeks, and then comes back. Being in this relationship is very fustrating and i just recently had to break it off with him. Because I know in my heart he’s seeing other women. Personally i think he sleeps with a different woman every night, and i can’t take it anymore. Every time i try to break it off with him he won’t let me, but this time i just changed my phone number and i refuse to call him.

  7. I know the type from my late teens and early 20’s dominique. I was living with my grandmother, and one time she want after him with a broom when he would not leave me alone after I broke up (due to catching him in bed with another woman).

    sometimes you need some help

  8. It’s the exact OPPOSITE for me.Im a Scorpio dating a Sag woman, and she is uncapable of dicussing her feeling w/me. we’ve been dating for 4 1/2 yrs and the past 9 mths have been unbarable. I feel she very indirect, deceiving and game-y, unfortunately trying to make things work by talking to her about resolving our differences is only making it worse. Her… well she thinks that she dosn’t need to do anything. So im ending it today and eventhough i feel like im losing someone i cared for deeply, I know im really Wining!

  9. I’ve been in a relationship with a sagg for about five or six months now. . And it seems like it will work out perfectly. . But whenever I look for something about compatibility. . Its always negative. . But we’re so happy. . And it seems like he’s determined not to let our relationship fail. . And I’m always willing to open up to him about even my darkest secrets even if it takes time. . I do it eventually. . I hope me and him last. . You guys think it will??

  10. I’m a Sagittarius female engaged to a Scorpio male. When I decided to make him mine well it was a real energy struggle that required lots of patience I truly didn’t have. I couldn’t get him to open up, I couldn’t get him to do as I say lol. I couldn’t get him to be with only me official, so I stopped and thought for a second. either I’m going to keep going and conquer this because my intuition always told me there was something about him that’s right for me or run away because I didn’t want to waste time. Well, I decided to really understand him first instead of expecting him to be like me and operate like me. I decided that it will work out. I applied positive onto more positive because starting negative already hinders progress. I was dtermined because I knew it would be worth it.this Scorpio that once acted indifferent with me for the longest is now the Scorpio that asks me to marry him. He talks to me about everything, we have the best communication. We are this power team.

    I think back sometimes, if I would have listened to others instead of listening to myself I would have gave up and never unlocked the treasure I found. He compliments me as I to him. We travel the world together exploring things we ponder about. I brought out the best in him and he gave me a good friend.

  11. Wow, I am a saggie and kinda shock at this reaction towards Scorps…on this message board.

    I am sleeping with my first scorp. He is AMAZING in bed, a friend and someone that I perceive to be very sensitive and with strong character. However, I must agree that he plays some games. When I am straight forward he sometimes turns away. I think because I am a blunt saggie and he is a piercing Scorp that see underling intentions, my honesty would win me favor. But, it does the opposite at times.

    Scorps definitely like to be in control.

    I agree it is probably more of a short term or physical thing, but I wouldn’t totally rule out a scorp if these 2 people are attracted to one another. Just know it won’t last forever, but enjoy the sex while you can!

  12. My first Scorpio that I dated, I must say I was really drawn to him. They’re very magnetic, passionate and has a way of tapping into my optimism. And the bedroom parlor? I can say the best I’ve ever had. It didn’t last because as a true Sagge, when I saw that he had no motivation for anything I got bored.

    Recently I met another Scorpio to the tee, pursued me sexually at first but I did not give in. He told me straight up that he does not believe in monogamy and just wants to sleep around. I told him the biggest lie that I wasn’t interested and moved on. After a few weeks he contacted me again and I threw everything he said to me in his face lol! I told him that I wasn’t interested in sleeping with him and if he wants we can get to know each other and be friends.

    To my suprise he played by my rules and respected my boundaries. He opens up to me and very communicative of what he’s doing with his life and everyday activities. He told me before that there’s no use for us being friends because we are total opoosites and can’t benefit from each other. I took that as a challenge and now is enjoying the getting to know process. He thinks that I’m smart and has wisdom to share in life which he appreciates. I’m a Sagg after all!

    I do not know whether this will go anywhere but he is very blunt about his stance in monogamy and so am I. We constantly debate on the subject which I frequently concluded that we agree to disagree. Inspite of that, Scopios has a way of making you feel that you’re the only person that matters to them when they’re with you. I’m just enjoying getting to know him and cautious as well.

  13. i think that even though people are just judging the pair via their behavior, and the traits they possess; i think that there is a spark between them: a true spark, which can last forever… and all it needs is time, plenty of time to grow into a soothing fire… to understand each other… who knows this pair might have the romance, that many may enjoy having…!!!

  14. August 28, 2015 at 12:20 am
    Scorpion are the most cruelest sign in all of zodiac…. All people who are with scorpion are ones with very low confidence and low self esteem…. And scorpion take full advantage of it and make such weaklings dance to their tune….no confident self respecting woman will have asshole scorpions as their partner…. Fuck all your oh my magnetic charm…. It’s a sly charm…you hypnotize women into submission coz you know otherwise no one will even come to shit towards you…you are at best place… In some dark dingy hole… My advice to you assholes stay put there..and let women have a life..hate scorpions with purple passion…ya right you fuckers I said with passion

  15. I agree. We’re all human no matter our signs. I believe scorps are genuinely intriguing and everyone has an individual personality and unique characteristics. Astrology doesn’t necessarily define a person, it’s still considered as theory or concept rather than fact. I am rather introverted and born on Nov 27 if that gives you any information on my sun sign.

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